Desperately sad about holiday ending

[Jackolanterny]

We spend summers abroad, usually away for 4-5 weeks.

I love the climate here, the nature, the space, the vivid colours, the water. I love everything about life here.It’s Florida.

I don’t want to come home. I have about two days left and already feel the holiday blues creeping in and the anxiety about returning to the UK. I hate the weather at home. I hate the pace. I hate the greyness and bleakness of everyday. If you told me I could never step foot in the UK again, I wouldn’t be worried at all.

I was made for this place and wish I could just live here. I will cry my eyes out coming home as usual and will pine to come back, thinking of not much else. It’s a feeling similar to grief, as melodramatic as that sounds.

I know this is daft, that I should try to enjoy life at home, but I just don’t. I can’t move here, it’s not possible. Maybe I can retire here for 6 months of the year, but that’s a long time away.

Does anyone else ever feel the same? I’ve been coming here since 1991, but for longer stints since 2008. So this isn’t just a Disney bubble thing, I couldn’t give two hoots about Disney. I spend every spare penny coming here, saving like mad and going without, because I don’t see the point in spending on stuff in the UK.

Just posting because I feel so sad and wondered if this was normal and if anyone else ever feels like this about their chose holiday destination?

😂

This year we’ve had quite a lot of rain, but I don’t mind it here. I’m still in shorts and vests and it’s still warm. Usually it follows a perfect morning, so I always feel like I’ve already had a great day when it starts. We’ve had some crazy storms and was here for the hurricane at the start of August. It certainly can get very wet very quickly! But I’d still rather be here than anywhere else 🥰

I do recognise that I am privileged, although I’ve never been given anything. Rather, I work very hard, save very hard and make other sacrifices. You’ll never see me with new clothes, fancy nails, highlights or posh makeup. I live a frugal existence outside of my Florida holidays. I don’t drink or smoke and I don’t eat out often, or get takeouts. I don’t have flash cars; or a huge house. I don’t have pets because they cost.

So I feel that I earn these holidays. I’ve always worked full time, worked in all sorts of jobs since I was 14, three jobs at a time at uni. Had minimum time off to have my son and never could afford to have another child and maintain the lifestyle I wanted to live.

So it may be a type of privilege, but trust me, it didn’t come easy.

Haha, it seems that Australia is your place to move to. Endless sunshine, outdoor life, water and greenery everywhere. There's a teacher shortage, so you both will find a job even before you move! The 'ha ha' at the beginning was because I live in Australia and whinge about the constant sun and outdoorsy lifestyle... I love winter, cosy coffee shops, old buildings, history, castles and the like, and I dream of a visit (or a move) to UK all the time! I studies there, and still go at least once a year to keep myself happy.

This goes to show no size fits all. If you want a house swap, let me know and we could both experience it for a while before we make any big decisions!

studied*

I honestly cannot remember the last time I had a day trip anywhere, let alone a week away. But what you are feeling is entirely normal, you've relaxed totally, nice stress free fun time away from the daily grind. If your finances allow, try to plan in a nice weekend somewhere closer to home every 5 to 6 weeks, something to look forward to, or else simply occasional days out, maybe to places you wouldn't usually go to. Or , as we do, simple days at home where the phones get switched off and everyone chills with games, reading or a movie, whatever ISN'T daily grind/housework stuff! Enjoy the rest of your stay and make some fab memories to keep you smiling when you get home x

I'm in Western Australian and also think it would suit you here. I'm not offering to swap houses with you though, I did forty years in the UK and Ireland and wild horses wouldn't drag me back!

I agree it’s the sign of a great holiday and especially after a month away, you feel like you practically live there!

I miss the relaxed pace of life when we return but that’s just not being at work / school. Although winters are long in the uk, I’m not a fan of hot weather so there isn't another climate I dream of. I am always happy to be home and fall back into routines, after the initial twinge.

if this is a real problem for you every year, I’d seriously think about lifestyle changes. It’s not healthy to live for holidays imo. Can you change your pace of life, move etc?

I live in Japan where we are seeing the full force of the US dollar. Americans come on holiday here and it's startling how much cash they have to spend around; don't get me wrong, it's mostly good for our economy, but it's also bidding prices up for local Japanese in terms of hotels and eating out in touristy areas; they are even talking about introducing a dual pricing system for tourists.

It's not just Japan either; there are areas of Scotland where hotels are full of Americans and the prices are increasingly telling the tale.

The US economy is just very strong and ebullient, with continued inflation and a very strong dollar, and I see no real signs that the rest of the world is converging; even Canadians feel poorer when they visit the US. All these signals tell me exactly how expensive it is getting to vacation State-side, and how more expensive it is likely to get going forward; I feel sorry for my US friends here in Japan because it's almost torture when they visit family back home.

On top of that, Americans have less vacation than Europeans, and when people earn more and holiday less, they can spend more per-day when they are on holiday.

Finally, the spike in immigration we are seeing is resulting in larger numbers of migrants being housed in American hotels. Many parts of the US have cracked down on AirBnB while hotel construction is strangled.

The result of this is that US holidaying prices are likely to continue going up and up into the forseeable future. I've given up on ever going there again, to be honest, and my family isn't badly off.

I'd be worried that you could end up stuck in a vicious circle of Florida vacations getting harder to afford, meaning you have to scrimp and save even more when you are in the UK in order to save enough, making your UK life more miserable, increasing the desperation to spend as much time in Florida as possible.... and so on.

I'd seriously look into migrating somewhere warm, and trying to find joy in the idea of other warm-weather locations, somewhere that is likely to be less financially painful in the future.

There is plenty of sun, nature and blue sea in Spain, much closer and cheaper than Florida.

SAD is most definitely real even for people who aren't enjoying the wonderful sunshine experiences you are.

Reading your post made me realize that I have something similar. My problem isn't yearning for a particular place, just yearning to get away from tedious grey skies as often as possible.

One trick I have learned is that a sunlight therapy lamp can have amazing results. https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?k=sun+lamps&crid=1P7KVURFN95WE&sprefix=sun+lamps

This might be of interest too: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder-sad/overview/

Here’s some ideas:
Get absorbed in autumnal and wintery things - collecting natural things and crafting for hallowe’en ( door wreaths are perfect) or for Christmas.
Plan a fun, warm cosy gathering for friends at Christmas with homemade treats and games etc.
Experiment with a slow cooker making tasty warming autumnal and winter casseroles etc. Make bread to go with them. Build a favourite recipe book.
Start photography- autumn and winter provide some really interesting colours, shapes and spectacular scenes in parks etc.
Try knitting- there’s nothing more satisfying than making homemade scarves, hats (maybe eventually jumpers who knows) and seeing them worn.
Google other wintery fun and keep trying to be brave and experimental.
I think it’s about keeping positive and trying to see things with new eyes. I hope you find something you like - maybe even love fingers crossed m. I really hope it can make the colder months seem less empty.

Pippettypoppity I am sure you mean well, but absolutely none of that would help me get over my loathing of winter. I don't want to knit, or make door wreaths (really?), I want to go to the beach and drink white wine in the sun! I mean, I moved to Australia to get away from UK winters, so I'm guessing I'm not the only person who feels this strongly about it.

That post also made me smile. Very well meaning but a description of all the posters own interests that she seems to expect other people to share. I love winter actually but crafting, knitting, 'games' etc sound like utter hell to me!

The OP is quite clearly a very different person and in order to help, posters need to understand that and answer accordingly.

The drinking white wine in the sun in your post I can get on board with!

Hello everyone and thank you for the suggestions, I’m only 44 so I don’t feel quite ready to start knitting scarves yet, but the genuineness/kindness of the suggestion made me smile and I needed that!

So, we are back and have been for 3 days. Arrived home late on Friday afternoon and the weather has been a bit pants, although we apparently had a teeny bit of sun on Saturday morning. Sadly I missed that as I was in bed until midday with jet lag 😂

I bought a light lamp and I sit and relax in front of it for about 10 - 15 minutes at a time with my eyes closed, and it does give you that light you get when sunbathing, so it did improve mood. I have also been to the tanning salon three times since getting back, for ten minute sessions. I don’t normally use a sun bed and I know it’s not good for me, but again, it has helped my mood, so it feels worth it short term.

I don’t think I can cheerfully start enjoying autumn and winter activities. I do genuinely believe I suffer with SAD and perhaps work and life related stress too. But, DH and I have got a tingle of excitement as we have decided to try to move somewhere warmer.

1. We are going to put our names in the hat for the green card lottery.
2. We have both registered for news about jobs in British schools abroad and we WILL apply if anything comes up.
3. I have sent an email Introducing my husband and myself as a teacher couple to some of my preferred schools with an expression of interest in hearing about upcoming opportunities.
4. I have asked if I can do some SEN/ALN specific training at my school to broaden my skills and make me a more desirable candidate
5. I have NOT taunted myself with YouTube videos and I only allowed myself to look back through photos once.
6. We invited family over on Saturday afternoon so had company straight away.
7. We distracted ourselves on Sunday taking DS to hospital as he had calf pain and we didn’t want to chance it after a long flight. We were there for around 5 hours, so that was a bit of a distraction…he’s fine…excellent blood work apparently ☺️

And I didn’t cry on the way home. I was surprised that the tone of this thread wasn’t so much ‘pull yourself together’ which is what I was expecting in my pity party. It was ‘if you’re not happy, do something about it’ and there was a complete understanding that I absolutely might not be happy here and that’s OK and many people feel the same!

Anyway, not ‘enjoying’ being home, but feeling positive about taking steps towards the life I want. There will be highs and lows I suspect and it might not turn out as planned, but at least I have a plan. Wish me luck and thank you all again!

This is such a lovely post. Especially the last few lines. Good for you trying to find and share the joy. Appreciate SAD is a real thing, and for some people they just genuinely can't stand British weather, but for others this list shows there's lots to look forward to for those who have the capacity to embrace a little hygge <3

Ah yay OP good for you! What a wonderful update. Sounds like you've really become the mistress of your own destiny. How inspirational! I sincerely hope it all works out for you and you can enjoy some adventures <3 Also so so lush that you and your partner are on the same page about it too. I taught abroad for a while, there are some really incredible experiences to be had.

Glad DS is okay!!

Final side note, I've been knitting for years (including scarves!) and I'm a decade younger than you 😂 I just haven't quite gotten further than rectangles so it's all scarves and blankets. But it's a nice thing to do of an evening (for me) and the giftees seem to have been appreciative of the efforts over the years. So don't write all us knitters off as collecting our pensions just yet.

So glad you’ve posted an update!! And glad you’ve taken steps toward making changes! We are definitely going for the Green Card lottery (as I think I mentioned in my previous post). It’s a fab opportunity that doesn’t happen often!

I have also been thinking about what else I could do, if the US doesn’t come to fruition immediately. Like you, I work in education and I do have SEN and Exams Access experience. I have been looking at British International schools, and also at schools who require English teachers. Obviously somewhere warm!

Like you I struggle to find the fun in Autumn and Winter; there are of course some elements I appreciate. But I definitely feel inspired by you to make a move! Good luck for the future to you. 😊

Love this update @Jackolanterny . My DH is currently in the U.K. and posted a photo of his train journey with the grey sky and I, in return sent him a photo of me sitting outside in 24 degrees on my laptop and we both agreed that the day we decided to move was the best decision we made!
All the best of luck with your changes.
This has been a really nice thread - I do actually like the U.K. autumn, I love the countryside, the fires, blue sky on a cold day, blackberries etc but I struggle with the long months of dark mornings and evenings. We lived back in the U.K. last year and I had forgotten what a mood buster it was for me. Plus I hate driving at night now with the insanely bright lights.

Don’t only limit yourself to British schools overseas OP. There are LOADS of international schools out there. Also, the British schools overseas tend to be very good, so have low staff turnover…making them difficult to get into. Hence my encouraging you to look at ALL international schools in the areas that interest you.

That is amazing news Op. I am so glad your husband is on board. I think with something so exciting to plan and being so proactive about it, you are going to get through this winter in a completely different frame of mind. Best of luck in the job search!

Nice update, OP!