Taking my son out of the football team...because I hate talking him to matches?

[curtainsareon]

This is what my sister has just text me saying....
Her son loves football and is goalkeeper in a local team (he is 12)
Anyway she said over the summer holidays she's enjoyed not taking him to training and the football matches ...so has removed him from the team.

I'm honestly flabbergasted
Don't you think this is selfish ?
The one thing he enjoys
I haven't said anything because it would cause trouble
I just had to vent somewhere

Of course it doesn't.

It may help keep teens busy and occupied, but if it was that easy, all children would be in hobbies and there'd be no issues with teens ever getting themselves into trouble or caught up with the wrong crowd

Your sister's a complete shit. Sorry.

@sunsetsandboardwalks

"Of course it doesn't."

Not as an absolute no it doesn't, but playing team sports or having a hobby greatly reduces the probability of a child getting into trouble or getting in with the wrong crowd.

I hope throwing your sister under the bus and inviting MNers to back it up and drive over her repeatedly has made you feel good.
Why is the dad not getting any backlash, I notice you've not answered why he can't take him.

I don't disagree that sports and hobbies are great for teens.

But PP said it "stops them" - like a sport is some kind of guarantee against your child falling in with the wrong crowd, which clearly isn't true.

Poor boy. She could have done car pool with another parents taking turns or took you up on your offer. He'll really resent her. If he was 3 she'd have got away with it but he's not!

That's selfish.

When I think of the years I stood at the side of a football pitch, cheering DS and his team on! And I've never really ever become a fan of football either, but when it's your child scoring or saving a goal it's different.

Matches against other teams are often miles away and not easy to get to by bus.

She could offer to share lifts with other parents, that's what many parents do.

That is so sad. I have very sporty children and I and my DH have spent years ferrying them to matches. I love it. I dread when they eventually astop. There are times when it is raining and grim and there are times when we don’t fancy an hour drive to the venue but honestly it is such a short amount of time in the grand scheme of things. I think that’s so sad for the child. I couldn’t imagine stopping something that my child loved. (That isn’t the say it is quite nice having a break during the holidays!). I honestly can’t wait until sept when they start up again.

That's awful, my husband coaches my son's team and just Sundays we are up early to set the pitch up if it's a home game or to travel to away matches. It can be a pain but it's what being a parent is about. She's sounds incredibly selfish

I actually loved ferrying my DD about for sports, and she was doing something all year long except for the summers. But even if I didn't like it, there's no way I would make my child drop the sport because I didn't like it, that's very selfish.

Sounds pretty shit to me, can't blame her, could think of nothing worse 🤷‍♀️ I got my kid into a sport which I do. Winter sport. Predominantly wet, cold and muddy. We do it together. Albeit he does his race in the morning and mine in the afternoon. We support each other. We both enjoy it.

Feels for him

I meant feel sad for him

the boy may grow to resent her

Have the conversation with her, not on here anymore

People saying the kid would be justified in declining to do eldercare because he didn't get to play football are completely bonkers.

Many families opt out of team sports and produce perfectly fit, healthy, engaged and accomplished children despite that. There's a lot more to life than kicking a ball around.

Selfish imo.

my dd14 has played in a local team since she was 8. It’s no fun in the winter and tbh I bloody hate it as I’m so cold but I do it because she loves it and it’s given her a focus .

Sounds like it is just OP’s sister. I judge the dad far more than her if that’s the case.

I agree, surely this one thing won't negate every other thing she's ever done for him in his life 🙄
I'm surprised no one's advised him to go NC.

Selfish under any circumstances. That's what parents do when they have kids.

It’s not what the activity is @BettyBardMacDonald, it’s more that he only needs transport once a week that surprised many posters. With a carpool, it would be even less.

Most parents are willing to take their child to an activity once a week, some are willing to do more.

But the child wants to play football. Plays football. Enjoys football.

Its cuntish not to take him.

Very selfish. Football is a big commitment and requires a lot of time. Surely she knew this when she let him start playing? How is she justifying this to the poor kid? The only time I would ever do this would be if my son lost interest. I don't always enjoy my weekends being taken up with it (some away games are hours away) but you do these things for your kids. Really mean of her.

I've had 8 years of early starts every Saturday to take DS to matches. I don't watch or care about football but watch and care about him, because he's my son. Sometimes every Saturday at the crack of dawn I wish he'd give it up so I could get my weekends back, but it doesn't go beyond a silent thought. It's not forever and it's important to him.