What are markers that identify stangers or acquaintances as posh? Lighthearted!

[Coffeeandacupcake]

For me, it's a combination of accent, subtle, expensive haircut & highlights or that perfect shade of blonde..

Aspirational parents, maybe 😆

I've never met one so my opinions are based on nothing, really.

That might be a trope but not actually accurate? Old and grubby vehicles are for knocking about the estate but there’ll be also very new, very smart cars in the garages , a Bentley for going to the races, a nippy sporty thing for zipping about as a couple or on one’s own, a small run around for the nanny etc.

Even those no longer with live-in staff will have a daily come - as the moniker suggest, on a daily basis - to dust, hoover, iron etc. also a housekeeper to prep meals, get in groceries, run errands eg go to the dry cleaners . No need to be scruffy. UC children when tiny IME are immaculate - and to my eye weirdly matchy matchy even if years apart in age - as Nanny will wrestle with getting them in said outfits, grooming hair, with side partings for the boys and ribbons for the girls.

Thrift is in evidence, at boarding school I wore knickers and had hand towels that had the name tape of my eldest female cousin, there were three other girl cousins between her and me, but no one saw that, it was a thrifty secret. Waste not want not.

@BlandBlancmange maybe you're right. It's not like I know many of them!
I had a mate who's family owned what appeared to be two castles, had loads of land. Really posh but very dim, bless him. He was a scruffy fecker. His house was having all new accessories and clean as he had a cleaner, but he had no sense of style and dressed kind of weirdly.
My other posh male mate is a bit like that too. But his home is a tip.
I think it's BC these people are single men actually?!

Ah the single man thing does make sense, yes, the jumpers fraying at cuff and elbow with a bit of fried egg yolk somewhere down the middle of it , the tweed jacket with the lining all gone and bagging out as small change escapes into the seams, wildly hairy eyebrows and noses, that sounds like a certain titled elderly bachelor I can think of…. When i visit and he offers me a sherry before luncheon I discreetly wipe out the glass on a clean hanky before I accept the aperitif. Food will have dog hairs in it (two darling black lab gun dogs), my constitution is iron clad.

It's in that invaluable book 'Watching the English'. People who went to school with the Middleton sisters said that they had everything new every school year, and the most expensive tennis rackets and so on. Posh people wore hand-me- downs or passed on uniform and sports equipment. Particularly odd with two sisters close in age. It was noticed and commented on (not favourably).

The hand-me-down habit … at my boarding school girls were generally asset rich but cash poor. I gained a habit, never left me, of initialling and monogramming everything portable I possessed, as some light fingered lass would otherwise lift my fountain pen/lax stick/ tuck treats - yes I even initialled my Penguin biscuit wrappers individually so I could cry foul if the dispensing Prefect took a fancy to some of my fiercely hoarded stash. The likes of the Middleton girls would have been rich pickings with all their shiny clobber at my borstal 🤣

I remember being really surprised when I went to the second hand uniform sale at my private school (I was on full ap), all the really really posh kids or their siblings were there. The slightly less posh (not saying much tbh) always had new and tried to cote me off for wearing hmd!? Haha.

Very good!

Money is never explicitly mentioned. Someone once asked my uncle directly how much a particular horse had cost him, and he looked momentarily utterly aghast, as if his interlocutor had just left a steaming pile in the middle of the silk Savonnerie carpet 🤣

I find it interesting how these threads assume all ‘posh’ people in the UK are by default Anglo Saxon landed gentry (Labradors, tatty Barbours etc.)

I married into the firmly upper (middle?) class London elite (Eton/Oxford for the boys, members’ clubs, life peerages, MIL’s mother grew up in the castle her family has inhabited since shortly after the Norman conquest.)

Of the many ‘posh’ British people I’m aquatinted with, the ‘poshest’ are DH’s godmother (from German aristocracy), an elderly member of the Pahlavi Persian royal family, and a member of a famously well-heeled Jewish family. And many of our ‘posh’ friends and family are pretty cosmopolitan folk, which means they’ve married outside their culture and class. DH is the only one of 4 brothers with a British wife (and even I’m half French.)

The UK is as diverse at the ‘posh’ end as it is anywhere else in society, especially in London.

Britain is heaving with posh people, but if you believe the Jilly Cooper stereotypes on MN, you’ll miss many of them.

@LaSourciereEfrontee indeed, I think someone said it well thread about different circles within that strata and code switching. IME Continental UC eg German don’t have the predilection for wearing clothes to their last legs, it’s all very fresh and smart and I can think of one Danish residence done up in a sort of upscale very modern IKEA vibe, no sagging faded 18th century wall hangings for them.

these inevitable class threads on MN make me sad because it’s as if some wistfully think if they tweaked this or that, they could pass as something slighter ‘up the ladder’ which in their mind is synonymous with ‘better’. I wish they’d find security and comfort in their own relatives and social circles, their own hobbies and habits, because I didn’t for a long time and it was such a waste of precious head space. Took me too long to cease feeling ‘lesser’, a cuckoo, which I never should have but I did.

BlandBlancmange It’s a shame you felt like that. None of it really matters.

The advantage of having a French mother is a distinct lack of interest in anyone’s supposed aristocratic status (except Dolly Parton, queen of Country, of course.)

It’s fascinating because it’s a totally closed shop. You’re either born it or you’re not. You can’t fake it and you can’t buy it and you can’t learn it. And it seems to me, desirable to be UC with all that privilege and confidence and opportunity and status. And sometimes, money.

@Coffeeandacupcake

Speech and Language

• Accent: A refined or distinctive accent, such as Received Pronunciation (RP) in the UK, is often associated with poshness.
• Vocabulary: Using formal or sophisticated vocabulary and complex sentence structures can signal a higher social status. This includes the use of "posh" or cultured expressions and idioms.
• Pronunciation: Careful pronunciation and enunciation, avoiding slang or regional dialects, are often associated with posh individuals.

Fashion and Appearance

• Clothing: High-quality, designer clothing and accessories are often worn. Brands that are perceived as exclusive or luxurious can be a marker.
• Grooming: Meticulous grooming and attention to personal appearance, including well-maintained hairstyles and polished shoes, are common.
• Social Norms: Wearing traditional or classic styles, such as tailored suits or elegant dresses, can also indicate a posh background.

Behavior and Etiquette

• Manners: Politeness, refined manners, and adherence to social etiquette are key markers. This includes formal greetings, polite conversation, and careful attention to social niceties.
• Dining: Knowledge of formal dining etiquette, such as the proper use of cutlery, and a preference for fine dining establishments can be indicators.
• Social Conduct: A poised and composed demeanor, with an emphasis on decorum and restraint in social interactions.

Lifestyle and Interests

• Education: Attending prestigious schools or universities is often associated with posh individuals. They might also have a strong appreciation for classical education and intellectual pursuits.
• Hobbies: Interests in activities such as equestrian sports, classical music, art, or high culture can be indicators of a posh background.
• Social Circles: Frequenting exclusive venues, participating in elite social clubs, and having connections within high society are markers.

Financial Indicators

• Wealth: Possession of significant wealth or assets, such as expensive real estate, luxury cars, or a high standard of living.
• Exclusivity: Engagement with brands and services that are perceived as exclusive or high-end.

Cultural References

• Cultural Knowledge: Demonstrating a deep knowledge of high culture, including literature, art, and history, often associated with an upper-class education.
• Social References: References to prestigious events, figures, or institutions can signal a posh background.

@BlandBlancmange @LaSourciereEfrontee I totally agreed re the international elite. Yohanna Hanbury (Polo player Charlie Hanbury's wife) is a prime example. She's a German aristocratic princess, gorgeous, extremely well groomed with gorgeous little girls & they are expecting their fourth little girl. Love her Instagram page for some escapism, their home, lifestyle & holidays (St Tropez, St Moritz & Argentina annually)..

Posh as in Victoria Beckham? But she isn't posh!

Fucking red trousers

And cruelty

Was that written by an AI who’d never met a bunch of Old Etonians on the razzle?

bing & co pilot

Victoria Beckham is Posh and so is Jane Goody and Katy Price. They are all so cultured and they have horses and dress really well in designer clothes. Next to Princess Diana they are the poshest people I know apart from the Queen and that woman from the telly.

There’s bohemian posh and proper posh.
for me, it’s saying ‘supper’ rather than tea or dinner
The way someone pronounces ‘issue’ (Rory Stewart vibes)
Asking what school you went to within 5 minutes of meeting you.
bohemian posh, lots of things but definitely virtual signalling and pure breed dogs who are rarely neutered.
Talking much louder than the average person !

The moment I open my mouth. Calm, measured, low, articulate. Fuck
the blond swishy hair and smart gear. I dress like a bag lady but am unmistakably "posh"

Barbour gilet

The MN version of what the UC are vs the actual UC I've personally met is so different. Most of the adult kids live in the best parts of London, Paris and NYC all peddling their "businesses" that are entirely paid for by their heritage. Often environmental, but apparently forgetting that part when they fly from one country to the next to promote "their very oldest friend"s newest venture. Their houses are pristine because they have cleaners. They badly dabble in politics. The old school, blustering idiot wasn't even true in the height of the English movie 90s, never mind now.