How am I supposed to stay in the same room as the baby for all naps?!

[Luertiak]

Just that really. I understand I am meant to be in the same room as my newborn for all daytime sleeps (obviously they are in the same room as us at night). But if he falls asleep in his moses in the living room am I then seriously not allowed to go for a wee or get a cup of tea or answer the front door to the postman? He sleeps for 2-3 hours solid sometimes. If you have a second DC then how do people work it then - surely you need to move around the house during the day?

I know people will say "the sling" but I can't believe that absolutely everyone with a newborn has them nap in a sling.

@SunshineDucks

You can't really tell someone how long they should be able to hold their wee for. It isn't a competition.

And how do people quickly get pregnant again so often if this is a hard rule?? I know the baby doesn't know what you're doing but gross.

On that basis, leave a radio on low and head off to the shops.
🤣🤣

Babies don’t hate slings, they have a biological need to be close to you and they mimic the womb, so either you’re obviously doing something wrong or this is bullshit.

I think the bullshit is all yours.

But the thing is this is exactly what I was told. And it made no sense to me either! I settle my baby with white noise - I mean should I not be doing that, as then they can't hear my breathing?!

You are wrong. The whole point of you being beside them is that the noise, your presence etc, stops them from falling into a deep sleep which they cannot wake up from- SIDS. Being beside them while they sleep is the best thing you can do to prevent this. It’s not about having your ears open.

I was also told never to carry the moses basket with the baby inside it 🤯

@Luertiak in the kindest possible way, you need to make your own risk-based decisions. Not just blindly listen to everything you are told. It will drive you insane.

I have three kids, the guidance on sleeping, feeding, everything changed between 1 and 2. It then changed between 2 and 3. Go with your own gut instinct and remember most the things that 'could happen' are quite rare as long as you are being safe.

Who says to carry the baby with a boiling cup of tea? That’s irresponsible and dangerous.

As per previous links, popping out of the room for a couple of minutes to go to the toilet / answer the door / make a drink is fine.

They have a point though because these guidelines don't exist in scandi countries and their SIDs rate is no higher than ours.

Are you feeling okay @Delphigirl, you sound quite angry about this, calling posters insane?

You have to use common sense with a lot of parenting stuff, this is just the beginning!

Luertiak why don’t you just follow Swedish advice to the letter - it is undoubtedly more sensible than ours. Enjoy your baby!

Never heard of that, in Scandinavia they park them outside in the pram

I’m calling the advice and your interpretation of the advice insane.

Who told you that??

The NHS.

this is a hypothesis which has never actually been proven as far as I'm aware. They actually don't know why SIDs rates are lower when parents are present, and the above is something that has been suggested but never evidenced or shown to be fact yet.

And yes, any advice that leaves a new mother feeling she cannot pee or answer the door or make herself a cup of tea for hours on end, because she can’t step out of the room for 30 seconds or her baby might die, makes me extremely angry. New motherhood is difficult enough without this nonsense.

Nonsense

It's more having a wee so I don't exacerbate my bladder injury really.

The advice is backed by research and statistics. I haven’t ‘interpreted’ anything, simply shared the advice. The advice is there for good reason - to prevent baby deaths from SIDs, now that we understand more about the issue.

Neither I, or the advice, is ‘insane.’

Rather follow “nonsense” guidance from the NHS and keep my baby safe than believe a random Mumsnet poster who thinks it’s all bullshit and risk my baby not making her next birthday.

It’s such a simple thing to do to keep your baby safe, why you’d risk it is bizarre to me.

What the hell have I just read?

This is not a healthy place to be in mentally that you won't leave the room when your baby is sleeping. Obviously you need to check on them regularly. But to not leave the room for 6 months is insane.