How am I supposed to stay in the same room as the baby for all naps?!

[Luertiak]

Just that really. I understand I am meant to be in the same room as my newborn for all daytime sleeps (obviously they are in the same room as us at night). But if he falls asleep in his moses in the living room am I then seriously not allowed to go for a wee or get a cup of tea or answer the front door to the postman? He sleeps for 2-3 hours solid sometimes. If you have a second DC then how do people work it then - surely you need to move around the house during the day?

I know people will say "the sling" but I can't believe that absolutely everyone with a newborn has them nap in a sling.

@Skodacool some didn’t hence the guidance

Same room Is to reduce the risk of SIDS but your allowed pop in and out just don't leave them for prolonged periods

But does it reduce the risk really? If so how comes the scandi countries with babies left to sleep alone outside have lower rates?

I think a lot of replies are from older people before the advice changed. The advice isn’t to watch them it’s meant to regulate their breathing having someone in the room near them I believe. I had a baby I couldn’t put down for naps, but if I’d had the privilege I would’ve gone for a pee. I put her in her next to me to pee when she was awake also

Personally I think there's nothing better than fresh air. Whenever mine have had a stuffy nose, little cough or rattly chest I get them wrapped up and get them out and does the world of good. Even for my asthma when it was bad I couldn't bear being indoors had to get outside. So think obviously being outdoors is beneficial for being able to breathe better and get more oxygen. That's of course in my totally none scientific opinion :)

If your leaving the room to pee or make tea and worried then baby video monitor is the answer

This is a new mum trying to work out caring for her baby, keeping them safe, recovering from.a tricky birth, hearing difficult to manage advice and just asking what others do! I simply cant believe the sanctimonious, unkind or downright nasty, or scaremongeringly ridiculous comments from some posters in response

Just THINK before you post and dont be so nasty judgemental or derogatory. It's a good job others were kind and helpful

Tell the HV to piss off, seriously. They have little training and few qualifications and they come out with some serious nonsense.

As for the NHs - if they are so concerned about babies’ safety, they could start off by overhauling their own substandard postpartum hospital care.

I'm also reminded of various desperate posts from women who've taken their children into hospital and then been expected to stay by the bed 24/7 without food or drink or a change of clothes because the wards are so poorly staffed but the children are not supposed to be left. It comes to something when children on a paediatric ward are neglected if a parents can't be there constantly.

They are registered nurses or midwives, with additional qualifications. Which doesn’t mean they can’t vary in usefulness, I agree.

Baby monitor. Havnt read the whole thread but I'm guessing it's your 1st baby. It's normal to feel overwhelmed and worried. The baby monitor I used was a angel care woth the mat too. I had a moses basket downstairs where mine napped when they were new born so in daytime I was around although sometimes in a different room. At night when they were in their cot, then I'd take the monitor to my bedroom so I could still hear

why would that help, they don't breath!

You cannot keep watching a newborn 24/7. When is mum meant to sleep?
If you read my whole thread you would see it came with a mat. This is quite common now. If breathing changes it sets on alarm.

You don't need to watch them and a non hospital grade breathing mat is not reliable.

I have the owlet sock with video monitor. It’s amazing.

I wonder how babies ever survived in the 20th century

I did have a baby monitor

You would wonder wouldn't you. I'm old enough to remember a time before baby monitors, when mothers most certainly didn't sit in the same room as their babys 24/7.

Before people rush on here to tell me one in two babies died in those days, they really didn't. I only personally know one family who lost a baby to SIDs, and that was in the days when it was quite common (when I was young enough to know lots of people having babies).

Everyone used to put their babies out in their prams if the weather was okay. OH spent the first two years of his life virtually in the garden in his pram! My children all slept in their own room from being newborn. I used a baby monitor .

Does anyone remember those window cages for flats that didn’t have gardens? People had these cage things bolted to the outside of the building around a window and would put babies and young kids out in them to get fresh air?

If you have multiple children then it's impossible anyway. Never going to happen. The baby had to just get left sleeping whilst helping look after toddler or doing homework with older DC. Or getting on with making dinner etc.

It's like that stuff about formula feeding on demand whilst also making it fresh by a prolonged method each time. It's no use just giving a guideline to tired new parents. If something seems highly impractical then I also need to be given advice on how to do it.

I'm genuinely curious as to what these HVs would recommend for multiple children. Employing a nanny? Locking everyone in a room with a sleeping baby?

I'd be interested to know this too. If it's low I suspect it's because it's not dark & silent outdoors. There's always some kind of background noise, and it's light. Keeping the baby near you when it's asleep reduces SIDS risk as they are aware of movement/noise and this stops them dropping into a very deep sleep. It's the long deep sleep that's unnatural for babies and it thought to be linked with pauses in breathing that can be fatal.

Surely if you had tv on in the front room while baby slept it would also not be dark and silent there either? TBH none of my babies were ever taught to sleep in dark silent places.

I can see the point of sleeping in parents bedroom to hear them moving/ breathing in night if that's the case. But I put DD2 in with DD1 once she was about 10 weeks old.surely must have same effect?

@Gogogo12345 I’m guessing telling parents to put their baby to sleep in front of the tv for hours wouldn’t make good parenting advice!