How am I supposed to stay in the same room as the baby for all naps?!

[Luertiak]

Just that really. I understand I am meant to be in the same room as my newborn for all daytime sleeps (obviously they are in the same room as us at night). But if he falls asleep in his moses in the living room am I then seriously not allowed to go for a wee or get a cup of tea or answer the front door to the postman? He sleeps for 2-3 hours solid sometimes. If you have a second DC then how do people work it then - surely you need to move around the house during the day?

I know people will say "the sling" but I can't believe that absolutely everyone with a newborn has them nap in a sling.

OMG what are they telling people nowadays. No , you don't have to stay in the same room for 6 months.

@MustWeDoThis you need to read the latest guidance, being in same room applies for naps as well as night time (logically that makes sense, if the presence of another human breathing or whatever the reason is reduces SIDS)

I had mine in a bassinet in the lounge. I didn't feel like I could never leave the room but our room was pretty open plan. But I'd do laundry, answer the door, make myself lunch. If I was doing something upstairs, I'd put the baby to nap there.

However, I had a snuza. It attaches to the nappy and if the baby stops breathing it sounds an alarm.

It was great for the car. Gave me so much reassurance. That's why I picked that instead of an owlet. The money wasn't the key factor it was the fact the snuza could be used anywhere and didn't require any WiFi etc.

Got mine from Argos. Think Currys sell them too. Possibly John Lewis too. They're supported by the lullaby trust - only sleep product for babies that are.

This!! We were in Copenhagen earlier this year and every single pram was outside the restaurants, with happily sleeping babies and monitors.. My daughter was flabbergasted 😂 What I found most lovely compared to here, were young couples, with young babies, actually enjoying a meal and time together rather than trying to manage eating, baby, faffing.. every so often a baby would stir and out would pop mum or dad, settle and leave.. As for never leaving them I’m pretty sure most of us had showers, put washes on, napped and had coffee with friends whilst baby slept in a Moses basket in a different room.. Mines a teen and I don’t know anyone who didn’t leave them sleeping.. and knew a lot who did Gina Ford and had them sleeping in their own bedroom for all naps from way under six months.. Everyone and every child is fine.. Go with your gut.. but absolutely don’t beat yourself up for taking time for yourself while they are sleeping

I feel like you haven't read the thread if this is your advice 🤣

Oh gosh! Bless you. Times have certainly changed. In the 80's we were actively encouraged to put them in a separate room for daytime naps. You'll be fine, popping for a wee, making coffee etc won't be a problem. I can sort of understand this advice for maybe 3 months but not 6 months

It is traditional on MN for people not to RTFT, but she's not even read the OP.

I used one of those sensor mats that would go off of they stopped moving or anything
Gave me the security to sleep or have a nap myself

Telling a mother to not leave the room if a baby is sleeping is in my mind akin to torture
It's already hard enough being a new mum without even more stupid pressure to do or not do something

Used to leave mine in there moses basket on there tummies while i made a cuppa or hoovered etc there 24 and 19 now and big strapping lads

Bonkers! Sounds like NHS covering its arse and also having a stick to beat mothers with - if they’re allowed to use the word mothers any more.

It’s honestly no wonder some first time mums are so anxious, you would seriously not go for a wee or make some food?! Your MW and HV are idiots.

You are perfectly fine to have a wee, answer the door, make a cuppa and even have a quick shower. It’s about being reasonable. You obviously need to make sure you follow sleep safe advice but when my baby was napping, I used to do all these things plus put washing in/take it out/put it away etc etc.

I just want to say, I was totally where you are when I had my first. Trying to stick to each rule you read, or exactly what your pediatrician or a parenting expert says.

I tried to stick to every rule and developed severe PPA.

My advice is, listen to yourself and what makes sense to you. You’re the mom, not the “experts” who write articles online just in the name of content. Of course, doctors and other experts have important things to teach us, but at the end of the day, do what makes sense for you and trust yourself. Staying constantly vigilant over a safety sleeping baby would bring any new mom to the edge. Trust yourself.

I’m rooting for you. You’ve got this!

What? Why?

like never ever? What if you need the toilet?

that’d insane advice

Honestly. It’s fine

makinf a cup of tea and going to the toilet is ok

oh blimey I really feel that that is ridiculous. Lord knows how my two got to adulthood. Mt firstborn used to be put in his pram, well wrapped up, for an afternoon nap in the garden while I was inside doing chores. My second would only sleep in the cot so same she went down for her naps while I got on with life. I know advice changes over the years, but I feel advice such as this just makes you feel so anxious, and imo an anxious mother does herself and the child no favours. Good luck and go with your gut instinct,it’s rarely wrong.

Unfortunately when you have anxiety your gut instinct is not trustworthy as it always tells you something catastrophic is about to happen 😅

Good

It's totally ott

What a batshit thread, it's cancel the cheque all over again.

OP: the guidance on the NHS website and explicitly reiterated by my HV seems completely impractical. Am I missing something?
Multiple posters: you're being completely ridiculous. That isn't the advice. You've misinterpreted it.
OP: But it's right there on the NHS website. And my HV confirmed it.
Multiple posters: (ignores OP). You're clearly far too anxious about this. You should speak to your HV.

OP, I had absolutely no idea that the current guidelines were so draconian. I can only suggest that you trust your continue to exercise common sense, as you have done.

On a wider point, it makes me absolutely FURIOUS that this ludicrous and completely unrealistic expection is being placed on women. Because yes, it's overwhelmingly going to be mothers who are left tying themselves in knots and left feeling guilty and anxious that they are placing their baby at risk by recklessly indulging themselves by having a fucking wee. Actually I am RAGING.

I must be a terrible mother then cos bar the occasional contact nap, my DS has been napping alone in our room since he outgrew his moses basket at 11 weeks 😂

Within earshot is fine.

God, I must have been a crap mother then! When my son had a kip, that was my cue to do some hoovering etc,, chill, watch telly, and possibly have a nap myself! (and all in a different room)

I always thought how fab it was that the hoover didn't wake him up....

Yes DS (dc 3) was placed in his own room very quickly at night. I needed some peace

Safe sleep advice includes not putting babies alone in a separate room for sleep, including day time naps. This is to stop babies sleeping too deeply and 'forgetting' to breathe

This doesn't you can't pop out for a wee, answer the door, etc. If you want to have a bath/shower maybe bring the Moses basket into or near the bathroom.

But yes, you should be in the same room, or near by, when your baby is asleep.

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/

I agree that lots of posters are failing to read the thread and merrily insisting that it's absolutely fine for newborns to nap in their own room alone for two hours and only a mad person would ever claim there was any risk.

However the NHS guidelines do not say that you must never leave the room for even the shortest time while the baby is asleep, not even to answer the door or have a wee. They just say " place your baby on their back to sleep, in the same room as you, for the first 6 months". Which is, as the OP says, not completely clear, but also not a draconian overstatement.

The extension to "don't ever leave the room for a second" is the interpretation of the OP's mad HV, backed up by overzealous midwife. I'd be interested to hear what she would say if a mum of toddler twins asked her the same question.

And the Lullaby Trust website, which I'd trust on this particular subject (and is referred to by the NHS site) specifically says that it's fine to nip out for a mo.