I'm so mortified by what this woman said to me, I don't want to go back to the gym.

[DeclansAFeckingDream]

I'm so embarrassed. I have lost 4 stone in the last year by eating more healthily and I started going to the gym about 6 months ago in a bit to become more toned and generally feel better. I'm now a size 12 and happy enough with that. I'm 57 and I haven't found it easy.

I really enjoy the gym now and go about 4/5 times a week, on my own, and do my own thing. I feel great. This evening as I was just about to start using the rowing machine, a woman (who is super fit and absolutely stunning) approached me and said 'I don't mean to be rude, but those leggings do nothing for you because you can see your cellulite through them, you might be better with joggers'. She then went back to her equally stunning friend and they seemed to have a good old giggle.

I'm so mortified. My leggings are normally Sweaty Betty ones, not 'up the bum' ones and I wear a long tee shirt too. I felt quite good when I went in tonight and now I'm back to feeling like an overweight old bag and I never want to set foot in there again. I will though, I've worked hard to feel healthier - I just understand why anyone would say something like that. I daresay she can see my cellulite, but why bring someone down like that?

Ok so number I’m 1 very jealous of you being able to afford sweaty betty. My gym stuff is all from Primark. Number 2 I’m very jealous of you being size 12 and losing 4 stone. Wish I could say the same for myself.

If this individual comes and says something like this to you again, tell her to fuck off and to not speak to you again. Any more issues report her to the staff there. Gyms are for everyone.

OP I run multiple leisure centres from a commercial perspective. Good fitness instructors and pt's won't stand for this, they are the most friendly and positive people I've ever met.

Tell them your experience and they'll either directly speak to her or they'll give you a morale boost and look out for you in the future.

If they don't you need to look for a new gym, some cam be instagram mobs and it's best to avoid.

My rule is only to point out something someone can change in a few seconds or would be really embarrassing
Like you've got loo roll stuck to your shoe, or your skirt is tucked in your underwear

A woman at netball had on leggings that were see through the other day, I said nothing. She had big knickers on under them, it didn't matter

I know this was just a throwaway comment to support the OP, but as someone with a disfiguring skin condition part of your comment is the reason I don't go to the gym and many other places. I'm not being sarcastic in saying this, I genuinely mean it.

It's hard to walk into somewhere new, and this always plays on my mind - that people are looking at me. Years ago I used to go, but heard someone poking fun at me for wearing clothing that fully covered me.

20 years ago my daughters once paid for me to have a manicure as a treat. The manicurist (who was very young) looked horrified, asked the manicurist next to her if it was ok to go ahead, all in front of other customers. My girls had paid for a series of manicures - I only went for the first one and have never had another since.

Even basic things like when I go to a new physio, or hairdresser if my scalp is particularly bad, I will ring beforehand to warn them then have a bit of a cry afterwards because I feel that i have to prewarn them to try to head off the shock some people display when they first see my skin.

I'm not trying to make you feel bad, just wanted to say that your comment stopped me in my tracks and brought back why I don't go to places.

To OP - that person was absolutely vile, no excuses for what she said. It was deliberately done to make you feel bad, but I'm sure karma will be along to bite her in the arse.

Well done on your weight loss, do speak to the management about her behaviour as it was bang out of order. Don't let her take your sunshine, you keep going and enjoy what you are doing

I don't think you should respond, why lower yourself to her level. Just give her a stare, turn your back and carry on with what you were doing. Definitely report her to the management because if they think they will lose clients because of her behaviour they will deal with her and if no-one tells them what is going on they won't know so can't do anything. They may already have lost some custom because I doubt you are the first person she did "not mean to be rude" to.

When someone starts a sentence with "I don't mean to be rude", rude is what they mean to be, the same as when someone says "with respect" you know there will be no respect.

This woman is a nasty, insecure bully who wouldn't have said anything to you if her friend hadn't been there to witness it. She only picked on you because you were on your own. If you have a few friends or colleagues who you could get to go with you next time she might feel intimidated and probably jealous that you have a great group of mates.

Absolutely don't give her what she wants, which is to get rid of any other woman who she perceives as a threat. What you are doing is obviously working so keep on doing it and don't give her the satisfaction of leaving.

It's a shame there isn't a gym equivalent for someone like her who needs to work on their personality.

It is proper, normal women, like you, who inspire the rest of us.

Please don’t be put off going or wearing your sweaty Betty leggings. The woman was bang out of order not you.

I can't imagine how that horrible woman could cope at a swimming pool. Most women have cellulite!

I’d speak to the manager and ask if what your wearing is ok(obviously it is) but as a bit of a double bluff and say you’re worried because she’s made you feel so uncomfortable.

This is against everything a gym represents and stands for they’ll be so angry with what she’s done!

agree with others, this is about her not you. Thankfully she’s not a colleague or family member you have to deal with regularly!

I am so sorry this happened to you. What a horrible, nasty human being she is. Speak to management and then never give her another thought. What can anyone possibly hope to gain from being so mean.

I would have replied with “well Atleast I’m not a fucking rude bitch. Keep your judgments to yourself”

actually, I’d now be wearing shorts to the gym!

honestly it sounds like you’ve done amazing and worked so hard. Keep your head high.

I’d make a formal complaint about her to the gym management. She’s the one who shouldn’t be welcome there any more, not you. What a rude b!tch.

Yes I would, teeny tiny lycra cycling shorts and a crop top. And strut around in front of her. She's jealous as she clearly doesn't have body confidence despite being conventionally attractive. I bet she'd in her full make up and just there to gossip jot work out. Pity her, when she gets old and her outer beauty fades, her face will match her bitter interior.

Your post makes such a powerful connection to what has impacted on the OP to share her experience. Society's focus and judgements about 'appearance' operate so powerfully in both conscious and sub-conscious ways. Your story highlights how even when we are in professional situations where we have been trained to focus on a client's experience - that can be lost when our beliefs about appearance overtakes all else and we voice it without any ability to reflect on our lack of understanding. I am sorry you have endured this type of response and still navigate it on a regular basis.

I would assume SEN or ASD of some kind, where someone has no filter between their thoughts and their speech.

If nothing like that, peer group and media social conditioning usually compounded by terrible parenting leads to good looking adult bullies such as this woman.

I’m so sorry this happened to you, but you are the happy winner in this scenario.

What an absolute bitch. I hope the gym staff and management are similarly appalled. I think I’d feel the same, upset and then bloody angry. How fucking dare she!

She was unbelievably rude, and I'm sorry this happened to you. Take absolutely no notice of her, she's the one with the problem, not you. Well done on your weight loss!

Why on earth would you assume that?

There are just people out there who are genuinely vile and don't bloody care!

She clearly didn't speak in an 'unfiltered' way but in a 'I don't give a shit way'

My answer? 'Shame gyms can't fix personalities as well as bodies...;

I would assume SEN or ASD of some kind, where someone has no filter between their thoughts and their speech

Why would you assume that? She's just a rude cow.

Please don’t stop going to the gym. If she mentions cellulite or anything else again just say “why do you think I’m here? It’s not for the bloody company is it?!”

How fucking vile of her.

This ^ 100% You sound awesome OP.

Pay no heed to this brainless harridan.

Well done for looking after your health, don't let this idiot put you off your stride.

The only thing that her comment tells you, is that she is an absolute bitch.

I would report her to the gym for harassment and just try and ignore her.

But mostly when somebody is such a nasty bitch, karma will get them one day.

She's a complete bitch. Take no notice.

I agree with this.

Someone once made a comment in public about me being pale, pasty and overweight.

She was staying overnight at our house and the next morning I made a point of wandering around the house and garden in my smallest, shortest nightie.

But then I'm petty. 😁