(Lighthearted) alternative Olympic sports

[MrsMoastyToasty]

I would compete in

Getting around the local ring road with all the traffic lights on green. Personal best is 6. (There are 15 sets)
Number of loads of washing dried on the line in one day. Personal best is 7.

Number of items that can be stacked on the bottom stair before someone cracks and takes them up.

Bin mountain. Points deducted for leaking or misplaced recycling.

The floor is lava

Taking off bra without removing top layer. I would beat all comers at this.

Speed weeing. Perfected when I had toddlers.

Getting the right number of pegs out the pegbag for the items in your arms

Lego Building
Dodging my child on the oculus headset when she's flailing her arms about playing G-Tag
Laundry - washing, folding AND putting away all on the same day

My neighbours have been on competitive noise-making today - one side has used a performative WFH technique, the other has deployed children with basketballs 😊

I've been to another Olympic venue today known as The Office.
Events included:
Trying to look busy while doing feck all.
Sneaky tea breaks.
Answering the phone and winging it when posed with a question.

Pringles eating.

Sprint (small tube)

Middle distance (large tube)

Marathon (3 large tubes)

Anyone who dies through consuming too much salt is disqualified.

My cats would like to take part in the boxing - but not Olympic style boxing

Getting dressed after swimming when in a bit of a rush and not quite dry.

Pram folding when the children or child have already been loaded in the car and are cranky and the boot is already full to the brim with shopping and you can't get the bloody thing to fold properly

I immediately award them both gold.

This must happen

I was going to suggest cat-washing but presumably blood sports are banned.

The game of games.

If you don't know what I am referring to, you cannot take part.

I think the one on the left would win.

Chardee mcdennis?

Siamese cats for the gold medal match.

I want to see Olympic wipeout. Or Takeshis castle

Which rules?

These are all very impressive! I will just sit and watch.

When WFH, pulling down my fluffy dressing gown in one swift movement to reveal a "work" top whilst simultaneously answering a call on camera.

Getting dressed after swimming when in a bit of a rush and not quite dry

And the more advanced level sport: Getting dressed after swimming in very, very cold sea, while standing on a sandy beach in a high wind. With all the years of training I've put in I ought to be better at it than I am.

Yesterday's speed run round the supermarket while wrangling an irate toddler surely qualifies.

20 minutes. Everything on the list. Nothing not on the list. Child in full rage mode because I very unreasonably wouldn't let them carry the egg carton upside down.

Got home and child proudly told DH "I did big shop! Apple please?"