(Lighthearted) alternative Olympic sports

[MrsMoastyToasty]

I would compete in

Getting around the local ring road with all the traffic lights on green. Personal best is 6. (There are 15 sets)
Number of loads of washing dried on the line in one day. Personal best is 7.

Tidying the house an hour before visitors arrive

Swimming in the icy Cornish sea without getting my shoulders wet.

(No podium place for me though because eventually I have to put my head in 🏊 )

Window cleaning obstacle course - clean both inside and outside of windows that are designed to open only with extreme force a few inches and are situated behind a computer desk, reached only by balancing at an extreme angle on one leg on a bed. (extra points for artistic impression)

Another obstacle involves cleaning them whilst avoiding touching any of the houseplants and cacti as that will invoke a fault (and spines in your arm) despite the fact that your extended arm cannot go round corners and barely reaches the top of the window.

Precision powered wheelchair parking! Categories according to ability to turn head to look behind you (mirrors? or no looking behind allowed?).
Or slalom through pavement parked cars.
Bonus points for creative responses to helpful bystander comments like "have you got a licence for that?" "don't run me over haha" or "woman driver!". Points off for swearing at them.

Lego in the haystack also known as Hawk eyes - a team sport for Parents & DC.

Everyone gets an XL toybox filled to the rim with different size tat from cars over wooden bricks to those annoying plastic accessories.

Each team is given a sheet of 20 items to find... fastest wins. There will be time penalties for dropping stuff on the floor.

Eye-rolling comp.

On another note my DIL said she thinks it would be great to have the Olympics like jury duty. You get a letter and it states, you are expected to attend and take part in the long jump, etc. I'm all up for it. Sounds good fun! 🤣🤣

Quickest to find the car keys.

That is genuinely part of my weekly cardio training!!

Picking your way across a floor covered in lego and plugs
Supermarket sweep
Hook a duck

Using a public toilet with a broken lock in less than one minute.

Sleeping on any form of transport, trains, planes and buses. Have never slept beyond my stop. Gold medal winner for falling asleep before take off!
Power napping at work. Can fall asleep in a comfy chair, or on the lawn, 10 mins before end of lunch break and always make it back to my desk in time.

I’d get the gold in the fridge and cupboard jenga

🤣 yes, just a little snack for yourself without having to feed the 5000

Shower avoidance (teenage DS)
Taking the lights off the Christmas tree
Who can keep a supermarket basil plant alive the longest

I would watch the hell out of this, unlike the real Olympics.

Most efficient dishwasher-stacking. Points awarded for number of items stacked but deducted if any items come out dirty or broken. Reckon I might be in with a chance of at least a silver.

Slug launching (into next door's garden). Points for height, distance and number of spins.

I'm pretty nifty at parallel o po taking, but I excel in "how many impromptu chores can I do between saying I'm going to bed and actually going to bed". It's probably around 12 on a good night.

Arse boarding

Opening the fridge door without the dog rushing up to investigate the contents of the 'cold, smelly box'. Time trial obviously. I've got it down to 15 seconds before he hurtles into the kitchen.

That reminds me, my first dog was the champion in the time trials for detecting a piece of Brie or Camembert being taken out of the fridge while sound asleep on my bed to appearing expectantly in the kitchen.

On another note my DIL said she thinks it would be great to have the Olympics like jury duty. You get a letter and it states, you are expected to attend and take part in the long jump, etc. I'm all up for it. Sounds good fun! 🤣🤣

Reminds me of my Secondary School sports days back in the early 80s.

And an impatient toddler who wants to leave the cubicle...

Watching DS right now I'd enter him into Bounding Across Rockpools Without Breaking An Ankle. He's like a mountain goat and taking no notice of my pleas to BE CAREFUL!