Please help me decide ceremony time I'm having a complete mare

[tornbride1]

Wedding is on a Sunday in August. We wanted the ceremony at 2pm but it isn't available and we can't change the date.

Can choose between 12pm and 4pm.

Having 30 day guests and 40 evening guests. Definitely can't afford to have everyone as a day guest.

Here are the venues suggested timings and neither is ideal and it's really bothering me. Help me decide please

12pm Ceremony Timings

11am Guests to start arriving
12pm Ceremony
12:30pm Drinks Reception, Canapes & Photos
2pm Call through to Marquee / Guests take seats
2:15pm Wedding Breakfast and optional speeches before/after
7pm Evening reception / evening guests to arrive (if any)
8pm Evening food

4pm Ceremony Timings

3pm Guests to start arriving
4pm Ceremony
4:30pm Drinks Reception, Canapes & Photos
6pm Call through to Marquee / Guests take seats
6:15pm Wedding Breakfast and optional speeches before/after
8:30pm Evening reception / evening guests to arrive (if any)
10pm Evening food

I'd definitely take the 4pm to save the enormous break between day and evening. What is it about the timings that you don't like?

On the basis that you won’t need nearly five hours for dinner and speeches, I’d go with the 4pm timings but serve evening food at 9pm.

Posted too soon but there's obviously a lot of dead time starting at 11am!!!! I'd feel so bad making people hang around that long.

And then 4pm option makes no sense for evening guests coming so late, especially as the wedding is on a Sunday the evening guests would understandably just not bother.

Please send any thoughts. I'm leaning toward 12pm ceremony but changing the timings around a bit.

The earlier one means your day guests will have a lot of time waiting around which isn’t ideal. I’d go for the later one but try and shift things slightly earlier, e.g. 5:45 guests take seats, 6pm wedding breakfast, then 8pm for evening guests to arrive, with food at 8:30. 10pm is way too late - chances are that some people will be considering leaving by then.

4pm - no sit down dinner, look at a food caterer that will be open from 6.30 to 9pm 0people can eat when they want - maybe a hog roast with salads and pudding. More relaxed.

You won’t need evening food if you’ve done a main meal only a couple of hours earlier. I would go for the 4pm one and just not have evening guests.
Ours was at 3 and the day flowed very nicely from ceremony, photos, drinks, dinner, party.

I had a 12pm wedding it was lovey as we weren’t rushed. We took a little carriage and horse trip to properly connect and chat just the two of us. Make sure the drinks (soft aswell as alcoholic) free flow.. we had ice creams pre wedding breakfast with pimms. Maybe invite the evening guests from 6 and food at 7:30?

Definitely can't afford to have everyone as a day guest

Not if you're feeding them twice. If you had a 4pm start though, two meals isn't necessary imo.

3.30pm Guests arrive
4pm Ceremony
4:30pm Drinks Reception, Canapes & Photos
6pm Call through to Marquee / Guests take seats
6:15pm Wedding Breakfast and optional speeches before/after
8.30pm Party time

Yes this

The canapes and photos slot seems very long - that’s always the bit that seems too long if it’s too hot/cold/I’m wearing uncomfortable shoes/I’m hungry - so could happily be shortened IMO

You could also maybe start the ceremony at 3.30/3.45, I don’t think it takes an hour for people to arrive and get seated does it? Unless they have another couple who won’t be done till 3.30…

Sorry I just saw you have to have evening guests. I don’t know then, I’ve only been an evening guest once and it was pretty crap so I’m not a big fan of those weddings.

330pm guests sit down (no day/evening guests)
4pm wedding, 30 min ceremony
430-630pm photos welcome drinks canapes
630-7pm seat for meal plus welcome speech
one meal at circa 7pm
party at 830-9pm after speeches
no need for additional meals
carriages at 2359

simple!

4pm.
Do you need a sit down meal for your day guests or could you do buffet style throughout the evening?
Alternatively, sit down dinner with snacks around 9pm - eg. charcuterie board, sliders etc.

I'd do the 4pm ceremony and invite everyone but not have a sit down meal. Just a buffet, BBQ, hog roast or something similar.

The 4pm will be very rushed for the wedding breakfast, and you risk it not being finished when the evening guests turn up. Plus the day guests won't want to eat again. I'd go for noon. Are people staying over at the venue? I've always liked weddings with a natural lull when staying over as it allows for a nice nap after the wedding breakfast and before the evening party. Lovely!

Or if the issue is registrar availability how about doing the legal bit the day before and then having a symbolic ceremony on the day? You don't need to draw it to people's attention.

4pm. Weddings are nice but no one needs to wait around all day.

Also, I imagine a lot of evening guests won't bother if they aren't invited until 8.30.

I’m afraid I agree, I am not sure I would bother coming as an evening guest whether it was 7pm or 8.30pm, especially on a Sunday evening. Maybe if I lived pretty close to the venue.

This is true and a really good point, however I've just done the maths and we still couldn't afford everyone as a day guest even with no evening food.

The catering is all done by the venue and it's quite pricey.

Fook me that is a LONG DAY @tornbride1 !!!

Defo pick 4pm! I went to a wedding in May, with similar timings to what you're suggesting, and it was a LONG day with a LOT of waiting around. (It was in a posh hotel...) Wedding ceremony was at 1pm, finished by 1.15pm, and the photographs were done 1.30pm to 2pm, then the couple went off to have some taken on their own. Everyone waited an hour for them.

The reception was 3pm, and finished at 4.15pm- ish, then everyone had to hang around til 7.30pm as the reception area had to be been cleared up, and the night-do had to be set up. Such a tedious amount of time to be hanging around. I was bored shitless! 😬

Weddings are like marathons these days! Midday to 11pm we were there. It took me a week to get over it!

Having 30 day guests and 40 night is very odd. If I was one of the 10 not invited to the day 'do' I would feel miffed and hurt. Can you not possibly stretch to inviting the other 10?

We are having evening guests!

I don’t think you can have evening guests arrive at 830, that’s not reasonable. So I would start from there and then decide which option is best - no evening guests at all, evening guests invited to whole day with smaller meal to save costs, or long day with evening guests.

Yep.

4pm ceremony
5pm drinks, canapés, photos.

6pm gather for speeches

6.30 party and buffet.

alternatively lay out buffet then once everyone’s eating do speeches.

you’ll get much more food for the money with a buffet.

Is there a reason with the 12pm one that evening guests can’t arrive from quite a bit earlier, and stay the reception from (say) 5pm?

I assumed the OP meant 30 day guests and 40 additional evening guests, so 70 people total.

It's 30 day guests, and an additional 40 night guests. 70 all together.

Thanks for the insights though