Please help me decide ceremony time I'm having a complete mare

[tornbride1]

Wedding is on a Sunday in August. We wanted the ceremony at 2pm but it isn't available and we can't change the date.

Can choose between 12pm and 4pm.

Having 30 day guests and 40 evening guests. Definitely can't afford to have everyone as a day guest.

Here are the venues suggested timings and neither is ideal and it's really bothering me. Help me decide please

12pm Ceremony Timings

11am Guests to start arriving
12pm Ceremony
12:30pm Drinks Reception, Canapes & Photos
2pm Call through to Marquee / Guests take seats
2:15pm Wedding Breakfast and optional speeches before/after
7pm Evening reception / evening guests to arrive (if any)
8pm Evening food

4pm Ceremony Timings

3pm Guests to start arriving
4pm Ceremony
4:30pm Drinks Reception, Canapes & Photos
6pm Call through to Marquee / Guests take seats
6:15pm Wedding Breakfast and optional speeches before/after
8:30pm Evening reception / evening guests to arrive (if any)
10pm Evening food

Because I can't afford that.

It's £85 for a day guest and £12.50 for an evening guest.

Even if we invited everybody for the day and just did one meal it would still cost £69 p/h.

We just can't afford it unfortunately.

I am going to look into a 4pm start, everyone invited to the whole thing, and one relaxed meal for all as suggested.

I already know that it's un affordable as I have the brochure with prices but it's worth an ask to them directly.

I do really like that idea

We did 4pm out of choice. 30 min ceremony, reception drinks and photos, sit down by 6pm, evening guests arrived from 7:30pm.

Nobody was hanging around waiting.

Evening food for all a little earlier and no wedding breakfast at all - cheaper

It's £85 for a day guest and £12.50 for an evening guest based on the trad format of canapés/three course for day and sandwich for evening though. That's exactly what you don't want. Go back to them and say 'how can we cut this budget differently'. Remind them that 70 people all day will be a considerably bigger bar cut for them. Tell them you're prepared to walk away and mean it, negotiate hard.

If they can't make it work for you, it's not the right venue for you.

OP, what if you changed things around a bit -
I did a slightly non traditional format, split speeches up for reasons of not wanting people to stand around for ages, had no top table and my dad did his speech as a welcome as he felt it was less high pressure, so I think you have to make traditions work for you.

In your case, you might get a much better atmosphere if you invited evening guests for speeches too - you could perhaps dispense with canapés and have a better grazing buffet for evening guests OR have no canapés and have everyone there for the whole day. Speeches will otherwise feel very quiet and they really are part of the main benefit for guests.

For a 4pm wedding canapés are absolutely unnecessary and you can make a decent saving on that and evening food. That would be my preference.

If you preserve the split, then

4pm ceremony
5pm intimate wedding breakfast
6pm evening guests arrive for drinks reception and speeches - can have nibbles on the side for evening guests
7pm - evening do with substantial food for evening guests and cake/cheeseboard for those who did the wedding breakfast

This also has the advantage of actually serving the wedding cake at a point at which people might eat it. So often it is basically wasted.

Or, if you want to go early, you could have a bit of a chill break if it is a hotel type venue in the middle.

But I would definitely do speeches when everyone is there. Much more fun and part of making the evening guests feel special and included too

2025, and no wiggle room on the date no.

I know, this is my whole problem! It's really annoying me 😂

(So if you can't afford all at the breakfast, shift the canapé budget to better provision for evening guests for 4pm ceremony)

Sounds wonderful!

I think the later service would be better, although you need to consider how many guests would want to stay very late on a Sunday.
We are teachers so would be absolutely up for it in August but would make excuses in term time.

Drinks reception won't take 1.5 hours with 30 people. Have it at 12, food at 1.45. Evening guests arrive 4.30 onwards. Evening food at 6.

No one wants to rock up at 8pm to anything on a Sunday!

On a Sunday especially

We had our wedding at 12, I was keen to make the most of the day. As a guest, I'd also prefer not to have to wait around until 4pm for everything to get started.

I don't suppose your wedding is on bank holiday in august? That will make the 4pm on a Sunday less off a squeeze.

It's £85 for a day guest and £12.50 for an evening guest based on the trad format of canapés/three course for day and sandwich for evening though. That's exactly what you don't want. Go back to them and say 'how can we cut this budget differently'. Remind them that 70 people all day will be a considerably bigger bar cut for them. Tell them you're prepared to walk away and mean it, negotiate hard

This advice is the best.

But for that £12.50 assuming that includes food you'll be catering a little snack per person but if you have them from 5pm plus feed your main guests at lunch time they will be hungry and that just won't be enough food. It will vanish half way through your guests going up to the buffet and it will be embarrassing and awkward for you.

I probably wouldn't come to an evening wedding at 8:30 on a work night. And if I did I would either not be hungry at 10 because I ate an evening meal or be absolutely ravenous.

I missed it's a Sunday. Yeah expect half your evening guests to flake in that case! How. A there be no wiggle room on date and venue for a wedding in a year ??

But if it's a Sunday then accepting an earlier finish for the majority of guests could work well. Front load the day rather than trying to keep them out late when, let's face it, there's no way all the guests will take a day or half day leave on the Monday.

I would go for the 12pm ceremony. The costs won't seem to change if you have it at 4pm but then you are making your day 4 hours less.

How many people need to get ready in the morning for the bridal party? If you have a large number it could be an early morning to get ready in time.

4pm start means guests travelling can check into hotel room and freshen up pre wedding (particularly important if they are getting train and not driving)

Avoids a hotel the night before.

Because I'm sure a few more won't worry about coming late as Theyl have the next day off work

I'd go earlier, at 12 noon.
Partying on late on a Sunday night will not happen.

Have a more simple menu and invite night guests early. (or all guests together)
Think cocktail party with traditional cake, speeches, tasty, light food and great music, over by 8:00 pm.

Food that can come out quite late to hungry partying people - toasted sandwiches, pizza and sliders.

We got married at 3pm and had the photos beforehand, which sounds weird but I would highly recommend!
In our case it was winter so would have been dark by the time the ceremony had finished, but we also didn't want to have to leave all our fanily and friends for an hour or so to take photos, so it worked out really well!
Also the place we took the photos was right next to the church, so no worry about being late to the church (we were already there 90mins before the ceremony!)

How old are the majority of your guests? Lots of jaded people on here who appear to view weddings as something to tolerate - I'm 30 and absolutely love weddings and parties, a 4pm start feels like a whole day of waiting around for half a celebration. 12pm is a fun morning of getting ready, gorgeous day ceremony and then wedding breakfast/party. If there's dead time during the canapés think about how you can entertain guests - games dotted around, photobooths, plenty of seating