Please help me decide ceremony time I'm having a complete mare

[tornbride1]

Wedding is on a Sunday in August. We wanted the ceremony at 2pm but it isn't available and we can't change the date.

Can choose between 12pm and 4pm.

Having 30 day guests and 40 evening guests. Definitely can't afford to have everyone as a day guest.

Here are the venues suggested timings and neither is ideal and it's really bothering me. Help me decide please

12pm Ceremony Timings

11am Guests to start arriving
12pm Ceremony
12:30pm Drinks Reception, Canapes & Photos
2pm Call through to Marquee / Guests take seats
2:15pm Wedding Breakfast and optional speeches before/after
7pm Evening reception / evening guests to arrive (if any)
8pm Evening food

4pm Ceremony Timings

3pm Guests to start arriving
4pm Ceremony
4:30pm Drinks Reception, Canapes & Photos
6pm Call through to Marquee / Guests take seats
6:15pm Wedding Breakfast and optional speeches before/after
8:30pm Evening reception / evening guests to arrive (if any)
10pm Evening food

i once went to a 12pm wedding. The longest day ever. Definitely the 4pm!

Is everyone local? If not, 11am is an early start if they have to travel the same morning?

Oh I misunderstood the guest amounts sorry! Thanks @Myneighboursnorlax too.

I reckon this is the way to go and similar to what I was thinking. Something like this:

11:30 Guests to start arriving
12pm Ceremony
12:30pm Drinks Reception, Canapes & Photos
2pm Call through to Marquee / Guests take seats
2:15pm Wedding Breakfast and optional speeches before/after
5:30pm Evening reception / evening guests to arrive
8pm Evening food

The venues suggestion of a 5 hour slot for the meal and speeches makes 0 sense to me!

What's the reason for not being able to have the ceremony at 2pm? Is it because the celebrant isn't available or the room isn't available? If the venue can have you all there two hours earlier, then why not from 2pm?

I really do agree that 4pm would be better but it would be so rubbish for my 40 evening guests.
That's the only reason I'm leaning towards earlier.

I'd quite happily sneak off the day before and get officially married and have a celebrant to do a fake wedding on the actual day but DP really doesn't want to do that. Of course 😂

Registrar person from the council isn't available. They have set time slots. Such a shame!

Ah! That is a shame.

Just do a buffet and tell everyone to arrive after the ceremony? You can still do speeches etc

@IDontLoveTheWayYouLie I appreciate the suggestion but we can't afford to do that, we'd just have everyone as a day guest if that was doable. The venue has a minimum spend for the meal per head so we just can't afford to feed everyone a full meal.

Don't want to sound like I'm saying no to everyone's suggestions. I've thought it out all different ways and can't really think up a good solution other than the 12pm ceremony with the adjusted timings that I just posted.

I appreciate all the thoughts!

I'd 100% pick 12pm, if you go with 4pm you won't see your husband for most of your wedding day! The ceremony till the end of the day goes by so quickly.

There will be some "dead" time, so factor in some entertainment for your guests while you get the chance to speak to everyone. We had a violinist and a magician, and something for children.

We got married at 12 and it was brilliant. It all depends what you are planning to do for that massive chunk of time between the wedding breakfast and the evening. We had a pretty informal, relaxed wedding and it was a bit like a festival/village fete type affair. There was a lot of food available throughout the afternoon, plenty of beer and Pimm's flowing, and we had games, entertainment and live music. We had a smallish wedding too and we knew our guests would enjoy it and bring the atmosphere, which they did.

I think if you're having a formal wedding where after the wedding breakfast is just the bar, then nobody will want to hang around for 5 hours in heels waiting for the evening to start so 12pm would be awful. As a non-drinker I always find that part of the day totally excruciating so the shorter the better for me. I think it's probably more fun if you like a drink and you're attending child-free. But still not 5 hours of fun.

I’d usually say 4pm, but as it’s a Sunday wedding the earlier start may make more sense as people are likely to have work in the morning so you could then have an earlier finish to accommodate that.

The catering is all done by the venue and it's quite pricey

Have you thought outside the box for the food options...and discussed with the venue?

The 'hog roast and sides' or BBQ type evening option is often cheaper than the soup + chicken dinner typical wedding breakfast, and just as filling. Yet many people can't see past the chicken dinner option and think it's a must.

In your shoes I'd approach the venue and be frank that you're going to struggle to afford two meals so need to just do one meal for all guests (day and evening) and your budget is X...so could they do a 'substantial buffet' type meal?

Despite what their advertised info says, they may be willing to work with you and explore other options.

Change the venue? You surely don’t mean August 2024? Have you only just discovered this?

I hate hanging around for hours. A Sunday makes it hugely difficult for people working the next day. Maybe have a registry office for 10 guests and lunch the day before and then have a venue for a lunch party? I’d not be keen on a late Sunday evening and might decline the invite. I think you need to think about your guests. Who wants a late do on a Sunday?

Do you really need to have everyone hanging around for an hour and a half while you have your photo taken? You've also left a VERY long time for the meal and speeches. Guests will be drunk, tired and bored stiff.

Consider:

11:30am Guests arrive
12pm Ceremony
12:30pm Drinks & Photos
1:45pm Call through to Marquee / Guests take seats
2pm Wedding Breakfast and optional speeches before/after
4:30pm Evening reception / evening guests to arrive (if any)
6pm Evening food

That way, people get their Sunday lunch at 2pm and your evening gets under way in time for the additional guests to grab some food, have a few drinks and a dance, and be able to get to bed at a reasonable hour.

4pm makes much more sense

Can you shave half an hour off the photos and drinks reception?

5.30 marquee
5.45 wedding breakfast with nice short speeches afterwards
8.00 evening guests arrive
9.00 evening food buffet

Speak to the photographer and be very organised about settings and groups. Have lists and have the next group standing by. Enlist help from the groomsmen and bridesmaids or parents.

I really do agree that 4pm would be better but it would be so rubbish for my 40 evening guests.

But you are spending 30 meals plus 70 meals

Why not ‘just’ one meal for 70? You can then invite everyone all day instead spending twice on food.

4pm wedding, 6pm food - party time.

You could serve cheese crackers and grapes type snack food at 9pm but it isn’t essential!

Think of your guests! Don't drag it out.

With a 4pm start at least they can salvage part of their day instead of standing around all afternoon.

This.

Just have 4pm and then a do instead of segregating day and evening.

I would either do 4pm and no evening guests, or as it's a Sunday and presumably some people will be working the next day then 12 but close that gap between day and evening and finish the whole day earlier (our wedding finished at 10.30pm due to venue restrictions and it was perfect. We put on a coach to the town most people lived in or were staying in and those who wanted to carry the night on did).

Serve the wedding breakfast at 2.15pm, allow circa 3 hours for 3 courses + speeches, evening guests arrive from 6pm, evening food 7pm / 7.30pm, carriages 11pm.

12pm. Sure, half the day is gone at 4pm? What would you be doing until then? Get up & get married, I think.
As a guest, to me 4pm would be just half a wedding day…

4pm

The dead time on 11am/noon weddings is a killer - they are from the days before evening receptions and should be retired (IMO)

Plus you only need provide snacks as late night food so that’s a bonus

If the OP is thinking c serving food at 10, I’m guessing her mates expect to party till 1am at least. 11pm would be quite an early finish.

I'm sure her guests have lives and could think of plenty to do all day, rather than standing around!