Do you judge/ pity converts to Islam?

[Candyapplesandhearts]

Firstly I’m a convert to Islam. White European, so more than likely if you saw me you’d assume I was a convert, plus my name would definitely give the game away.

i live in a metropolitan area where converts are yes rare but not too too share whereby it’s shocking.

well keeping this in mind, I bought a block of sessions for a beauty treatment, and the aesthetician was visibly taken back by me firstly, fine it happens because I wasn’t what she was expecting, with my name and I show up in a headscarf.

but the questions, not only were they pretty inappropriate but also steeped in judgment. I was shocked. I could tell that she wasn’t necessarily being malicious or even hateful, but she clearly had a very pre conceived notion about my motivations and my choices. Ie several questions about my husband and how he made me convert, or as she said ‘become Islamic’, lots on clothing and how she often feels sorry for a lot of Muslim women.

truthfully MN, is this a thing? Deep down are these thoughts people have but maybe don’t voice.

in general even at work I do have questions asked but they are more diplomatically phrased- so now I’m wondering am I actually being judged/ pitied?

I once posted an Ama on mumsnet saying I am a convert to Judaism and yes I did get some people asking me if I would allow a rabbi to suck the blood off my son's penis (practice by some obscure ultra orthodox sect), but on the whole nowhere this level of hostility.. t

This is islamophobia and frankly racism.

Then there would not be a thread.

People in rl are shocked by my heritage and some of who I'm related to.

Personally I have no interest in converts to any religion as long as they are moderate. My family background and who I've been exposed to from childhood plays into this. So Muslims of any skin colour don't stand out to me.

However I do have concerns about the evangelical Christian church around the corner from me which has cult-like practices and has openly displayed their racism.

But then if I told you I have 3 degrees and earn the same as my husband? Who by dint of his job does the bulk of school runs and house work?

would you still think I’m of lower intellect and submissive to my husband?

Then I'd feel sad for you.

…. Because?

*only 25 people converted to orthodox judaism in 1 year...

It’s funny that on this thread people are so critical of women who cover up because of religious and cultural beliefs , being labelled as lower intelligence and subservient to men. I don’t know why people are so judgemental about this ,yet many western women are choosing to have surgeries such as Brazilian butt lifts and various aesthetic procedures. There is no criticism of why women feel the pressure to do this in western societies .

What utter nonsense. Of course there is.

I mean from certain people. Not everyone obviously

it’s even funnier because when the ‘lower intellect’ argument is debunked, they can’t really answer why they ‘feel sorry’ for people like me…

Missmary there is lots of criticism of women who do this.
Women get criticised constantly.

I spend significant chunks of time judging people who inject crap into their lips. I don't really have opinions on most people's arses, but then a butt lift probably isn't so painfully obvious.

Simply because you don't have to BUT have actively chosen a lifestyle so removed from adult human females able to make their own choices .. all I can think is that he either is an extraordinary 'provider' .. (sad if this is the case and you have literally sold your soul' ) OR his fucking AMAZING in bed ...

I recently read 'I married a Bedouin' and your daughter reminded me of the author. She was also very independent and strong minded.

It's a great book if anyone wants to understand one woman's story from her perspective. The guy could not have been a more loving husband and father.
It was rather the antidote to the one my mum made me read as a teenager called Not without my daughter. God knows who she thought I was going to run off with and marry in a small town where the only non-whites were the people who ran the Chinese (disclaimer, dear readers I did much later marry a Chinese man in the end but not the boy from the chippy). For part of his childhood, he lived in an Arabic country and studied Arabic and the Koran. He was never a muslim though.

There are so many things you can't tell just by looking at someone like DH (but people seeing a white woman in hijab tend to imagine a narrative based on that and whatever bits they know or think they know).

Sorry that your daughter is experiencing prejudice. That's very sad.

A lot of very intelligent people believe stupid things, as gender ideology has proved beyond doubt.

@Holidayhell22 that is true I suppose. Women just get criticised regardless of what they do. It’s depressing when you think about it.

I don't know there is a lot of critism from some mumsnetters about women who according to them show too much flesh or even just wear the wrong leggings(the scrunch bum ones), then they pity women who choose to cover up. I think there is just a general intolerance for people who they perceive as being different. Obviously some people like Muslims get it worse than others but that intolerance of difference is there on a lot levels.

There is no criticism of why women feel the pressure to do this in western societies

I’m sorry, whaat? 😂

No criticism? Have you been living in a media and internet blackout?

I mean from certain people not in general. I probably didn’t make that clear apologies.

I would wonder why you feel the need to wear a hijab when that is not a requirement. Is it an outward sign to other muslims so that you will be more accepted?

My practising Muslim neighbour never wears one. Her next door neighbour wears a niqab as well as hijab and abaya and will not speak to anyone outside. Very contrasting.
I notice a lot more little girls in hijabs now, from infant school age. What is your view of that?

@Alltheyearround 😂

Your post screams ignorance and quite frankly islamaphobic. Maybe you should reserve judgement until you do some in depth research and understand the religion and the reasons for what is permissible and what isn’t.

Feminism isn't about 'live and let live'. Feminism is about the liberation of women - legally, financially and socially.

As such, it is not so surprising to see many feminists (not that necessarily the majority of MN on chat boards is any kind of feminist at all) being what you'd call 'judgemental'. Joining a patriarchal religion is not seen as advancing the social, legal or financial liberation of women as a class.

It’s ridiculous to label women who choose to dress in a certain way as being of lower intelligence or submissive. Lots of women choose to dress in different ways for various reasons. Sometimes it is not by choice but you can’t automatically assume that.

I work with teens (post 16) and some days when I am startled by the very very revealing outfits I see, I do sometimes think that modest dressing might possibly be a good thing. For my eyes for one thing. I have to look away. Those very skin tight skin toned legging/tights things? The boys just get to wear generic boy outfits. Apart from the awfulness that was baggy jeans and bum cracks, we don't see much of their bodies. Thank god for small mercies.

I was also a teenager once but a gothy one so probably less revealing - certainly in college I hope.