Today I was told I have cancer. I'm sat alone at home to digest the news

[Scaredandworried98]

DH has gone out, it was planned. He asked if I minded him going. DC don't knowl and are doing own things. I messaged a friend to suggest a chat but she isn't picking up. I had told her today was diagnoses day but she's forgotten. We all have busy lives. I'm not going to tell friends over a message. Im purposely not googling it. I feel helpless waiting for the next hospital appt. Waiting to find out more.

Just wanted a hand hold

I won't sleep tonight. Any recommendations for Netflix/prime binge sets ?

PS. Your treatment plan might well, and probably will change many times, particularly if you're still waiting on various tests and scans. It's an ever-changing landscape.

If you have a Maggie's near you, they run a workshop about how to prepare for cancer treatment. Macmillian and/or your cancer nurse will also know about things like this, so ask them too. I found things like this invaluable.

I'm really sorry and wishing you all the very best with your treatment. You seem very brave and I admire you for that.

New Amsterdam on netflix is charming.

Sending you hugs and support OP. I'm sorry to hear this. My binge watch stuff generally focuses around true crime, to the point where I scare myself that much I can't bloody sleep! Take some time for yourself OP, whether it's shitty true crime stuff or a walk or anything. Be kind to yourself🥰...best wishes x

Poor you, a year ago today I had a mastectomy, so many sleepless nights worrying, but now a year later and had the all clear, the NHS will look after you,my treatment was fantastic.
please believe me when I say it’s not the dreaded disease it once was more People are surviving than ever before.
You Are not alone, my thoughts and best wishes to you x

It's a terrible thing to be told but these days cancer is not the death sentence it used to be. So many more people recover fully because treatment has come on in leaps and bounds in recent years. People presume they will lose all their hair with chemo, but that's not a given. My friend didn't, she kept a full head of hair.

Once you get more info it will be easier to cope with, the not knowing what's going on is worse.

When it comes to the tv, I've just finished Darby and Joan, gentle and easy to watch. I like comedies like Ghosts (the English original), Detectorists, Red Dwarf, Fawlty Towers, The Mighty Boosh, Dad's Army and Not going out and comedy panel shows such as Would I lie to you and Have I got news for you. Quizzes if you are in to them. The light hearted ones like Richard Osman's house of games. If you like detective shows start at the beginning of Morse and work your way through Lewis and Endeavour, then there's Midsomer Murders and for more light hearted nonsense Shakespeare and Hathaway. Also anything with Tom Selleck in works for me, so Magnum and Jesse Stone are great.

There are some great 30 min comedies on Radio 4, Cabin Pressure with Benedict Cumberbatch before he was Sherlock, Quanderhorn, Hancock's half hour, Ed Reardon's week, The casebook of Max and Ivan, The cold Swedish Winter, the list is endless. There are also some good radio serials such as The Lovecraft Investigations - the Whisperer in Darkness about strange goings on in Rendlesham Forest and the serialisation of John Lanchester's The Wall.

This should keep you going for a few hours. Personally, I would go for the comedies, a good belly laugh can boost your endorphin levels. When I was at my lowest in a care home I would watch old school comedies and when I eventually found myself laughing I knew things were getting better.

I second Schitt's Creak. I never watch things twice but this takes exception.. so funny be really good for you.

If you like detective series and have Amazon Prime, I really recommend Deadloch - it’s a funny, feminist, murder mystery series set in New Zealand. All the women are strong and brilliant and most of the men useless! The scenery is lovely too.

I wish you well with your treatment and the coming weeks. 🫶🏻

Not impressed with your DH! How selfish and heartless

Also now is your time to be selfish and draw on the support of others who will want to help you. If your DH asks again about if you mind him going out, say yes if you do! A lot of people don’t know what to do when someone they love gets a diagnosis like this and so he might have thought you saying he could go meant you wanted alone time to digest. Now is the time more than ever to put your happiness and comfort first but you might need to be forthright in communicating your needs, as those around you will feel a bit lost and helpless too.

Sending you lots of love op xxxxxxxxxxx

Desperate Housewives, Sex and the City, Miranda, Blackadder

If it’s not too late and you like a good romcom, Hitman on Netflix is pretty good.

OP, I am sorry you’ve had such awful news. It really takes a while to get your head around this- especially if, like me, you never suspected a thing and it was found by accident.

My best advice is not to google. Carry on as best you can and listen to the doctors and nurses when they talk to you.

I joined a kidney cancer group on FB but not until I’d had an op to remove the cancer and kidney. Before the op, I was kind of ignoring it. It was super useful to hear other people’s stories and advice.

Please remember cancer doesn’t have to be a death sentence these days. The drugs that have been developed are incredible and have fewer side effects than years ago.

Good luck, OP.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’ll say a prayer for you and I wish you the best.

Sending love OP 💐

So sorry you have cancer and you haven't got support with you. When I had cancer I watched a lot of Below Deck, Australia one is my favourite. Also love Race Around The World. I got a cleaner during chemo and was amazing. There's a cancer support thread in general health and on FB there are groups for cancer though sometimes can get overwhelming. Sending love.

Being diagnosed with cancer is shit. It's up there with the shittest things which can happen. Distraction is good, I watched a lot of 90s stuff Frasier and Friends were great.
Yes, I've been there, diagnosed with breast cancer in 2021: two surgeries chemo, radiotherapy, bone strengthening infusions and hormone blockers.
The point of diagnosis is scary but once you have a treatment plan and start on your treatment, it does get easier. I know that sounds crap right now but it does.
There is lots of support from various charities out there too.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/5059016-cancer-support-thread-94-sweetness-and-light-the-two-noblest-of-things?page=1
This link wil take you to the kindest, most supportive place on Mumsnet. Go there when you want and you will be welcomed to the thread nobody wants to be on.
There are all sorts of people on there including newly diagnosed, old hands, all types of cancer. Some people are regular contributors, others occasional. You act just read but honestly, it really helped me get through things.

Sending you lots of positive thoughts and hugs.

I made my poor mum green juices every day during her treatments and had every supplement, chia seed or raw food items available. Not sure it helped but it helped me focus on helping that way.

she’s six years in remission now.

wishing you very best over the next few weeks- you’ve got this!!!

I just bought every series of Fraiser off amazon prime video - joyous, comforting, witty silliness.

One step at a time 💐

Hi there ,Sorry to hear your news . I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer back in March .Am having 6 sessions of Chemo over every 3 weeks . I guess you will be meeting with Doctor to discuss your treatment. Make notes and ask anything you can think of.McMillan are very helpful ,and you can phone many times to speak to one of the Nurses .Take Care OP its a bit of a shock TBH ,There is a lot of help for you and support sending hugs xx

I am so sorry.
If you like comedy Silicon Valley is great, think it's on prime.

Hi! I am sorry you have had such frightening news. I have cancer too, and I can assure you that other posters are right - it’s often either curable or manageable. Mine is incurable but can be kept under control by hormone injections which I have monthly in my bum! Ouch! That should keep things at bay for a while.
As I am in my late 70s and the nurse who comes here is a good-looking man in his early 30s, you can imagine how embarrassed I was to have to bare my bum to him at first. But he is used to seeing all sorts of bums and worse, and I was far more worried about it than he was. He is charming and soon put me at ease, and now I almost look forward to his visits! We have a nice chat while he does the 15 min wait to make sure I have no adverse reaction. (I don’t, and people seldom do, it’s just a precaution, and not all places bother).
My consultant told me that the best way to manage cancer is to be optimistic. Statistics apparently show that people who face up to cancer and don’t automatically expect the worst have a better chance. I was told that you don’t die any sooner with some cancers than you would if you didn’t have it, as some are treatable, which is reassuring, (I’m not entirely sure how they know that, but I’m happy to clutch at any straw!)
You will find that as you get used to it, and the medics tell you more of what to expect, you will begin to feel more in control and less panicked. The fear of how the illness will progress will probably never really leave you, but you adapt to it and it eventually becomes just part of life.
As for your husband, I’m pretty sure that most of his apparent indifference is because he is scared. He won’t know what to expect, any more than you do, and he won’t know what to say to you, poor man, but once he gets more up to speed, I’m pretty sure he’ll be more able to cope. My husband didn’t react quite as yours did but once the news sank in for us both, we had a chat and he did say that the helplessness he felt on hearing the news was very frightening and made him doubt his ability to cope at first. (This is a man who could, and did, cope with anything until this news, which really floored him). Your husband, no doubt, will be feeling much the same. Once he accepts the situation, I am sure he will be a tower of strength.
If I can presume to give you some advice, it would be that you shouldn’t be afraid to ask for help. Family and friends will want to help you. Also, ask your husband for whatever you need. Don’t try to protect him and don’t let him mollycoddle you if he tries to at a later date. You must both face this together. I promise it can be done.

I wish you the best of luck. It is do-able, just bloody scary at first. Try to stay positive. Please write if there’s anything I can help with regarding coping and I’ll try to help. Remember, you are not alone in this, and hopefully all will be well.
Hugs, Ann x

If you are considering supplements just make sure you check with your team first especially if doing chemotherapy. On that very few were allowed.

I absolutely agree with this advice!

So sorry to hear this OP.

Just wanted to say a cancer diagnosis is not always unfixable.

My DP was diagnosed with kidney cancer 15 years ago. I cried all night, I cried all the way to work the next day and then I cried all the way home again.

DP on the other hand was so calm about it, I thought he must be in denial.

At the meeting we had with the consultant DP was actually arguing with the consultant about what date to have the operation. He said it would inconvenience his work!!!

Consultant told me to have a serious word with DP as he was trying to save his life!!

Anyhow, he had his operation which was a success and here we are 15 years later living our best lives and can barely remember the "bump in the road" when I thought our world had ended.

I pray you have a similar outcome, I know you are probably thinking the worst, but please aim for and believe in the best.