The battle to get DH out of bed in the school holidays.

[Sleepiboi]

Kids only broke up on Tuesday and I'm already annoyed with him.

Kids are teens, so sleep in when not in school. On school days DH has to drive them /collect them as we moved further away for a bigger house and transport links aren't great.

But when it comes to the holidays he just won't get out of bed.

It causes so much tension. He would happily sleep in till midday every day if I left him.

But I wake up at around 7.30am and get up to sort the animals and other stuff that needs doing and I have to go in and wake him up 7 times over the course of hours.

He doesn't seem to think it's an issue but I think it's awful to just sleep all morning, every day.

they’re not there

Yes do that glad you resolved it quickly and can move on. You dh doesn't need to be awake to look after children he can "do jobs" when he is awake , stop being so controlling.

I remember years ago I used to work nights (home about 5-6am). I had a flat mate, so not even a partner, who would get really pissed off by me sleeping in the day. Even told me 'what gives you the right to sleep all day' and that I should be up like everyone else, not lazing in bed all day. This person didn't even have a job btw, they were on the dole.

This isn't the same situation as your partner though. The fact he doesn't have a job and is in bed all day would piss me off as well. Terrible example to your teenage children.

I think the reason he's not working is very relevant here. If it's physical or mental health problems I would let him sleep

The absolute worst thing to do for a mental health problem is to lie in bed all day.

He sounds lazy AF. I have holidays off as well as teenage / young adult kids who are still in bed, but I was up this morning at six! There’s loads to do in a day.

yes and 24 hours to do it all

I think a lot of the earlier replies were possibly assuming your DH is on annual leave from work rather than actually not having a job. I don’t think it’s healthy as a habit to be sleeping in until lunch time every day - it’s not going to be helping him get a job or to be on a path to recovery.

This would bloody annoy me too! Staying in bed until about 10am then fair enough as the teenagers are sleeping in too but a grown man sleeping in until midday or later 7 days a week? How unattractive!

It is only the second day of there actually not being any school, and it is only 9.30am - so he has only had one non-weekend lie-in so far and you disturbed that 7 times?
I'd use your words when he is awake but also give him a week to sleep in if he wants to so he can enjoy the lie-ins he does have and catch up on rest a bit - it's hardly the crime of the century.

I couldn't STAND living with someone like this, it would drive me wild.

We are up 5.30-6.30 most days and if someone stays over and sleeps in past 11, I find it so bloomin irritating.

I don't think I could stay married to someone who wasn't working and slept in until 1.00pm.

It’s really really not. It’s gross and annoying and unfair given there is stuff to be done in the morning.

Is the real issue for you that you feel abandoned and that he doesn't want to make the effort to be with you or do things together?

Does he stay up very late?
How old is he?

Does he drink alcohol?
Eat properly?

Perhaps he needs to see the GP for some tests if he's always this tired.

What a lazy baggage. You don't work you get up and look for work not fester in your pit

I get this, I think. My DH is the same. The thing that rankles is not the sleeping, but the disengagement from all the things that keep the house and the family running. By the time he gets out of bed, they're mostly dealt with. It's the blithe assumption that someone else will have done it. Now that DS is a teenager, this is less of a problem for us, and I tend to get in with my own life. However, I consciously do very little in the afternoons and leave whatever needs tackling to him.

That would annoy me too, OP. You two could be spending time together but he rather lies in bed.

He needs to get up and find a job. Who's paying for him to spend half the day in bed?

I don’t think it’s okay in the slightest for him to absolve himself of all the responsibilities of running a household for half the day, every day for six weeks.

It doesn’t matter what those jobs are and why they need doing and if they really need doing now or can wait. He is putting the onus on you and making you work twice as hard and that is not fair.

People have different sleep patterns. If he gets up early when he has to, why can’t he sleep in when he can? Presumably any household jobs don’t HAVE to be done in the morning?

I’m the only one awake in our family right now and I rather like it!

I think the jobs she mentioned were about feeding animals, so that needs doing early usually. I can understand feeling frustrated if she’s having to do that alone over the holidays while he sleeps.

If you want to LTB you don't need permission from MN.

Why is it gross lying in bed at certain hours of the day but not others? Bizarre! Surely the only time sensitive thing is feeding the pets (although mine hasn't been fed yet, she's still in bed as am I 😬.

I totally get you OP. I find it very irritating and entitled. After a late night fair enough but not every single day.

I'm like your husband in that I could quite easily sleep the day away.

I don't though, because I'm an adult and it's unfair to let the other adult in the house deal with everything alone while I do exactly what I want.

It's an odd thing here, if @Sleepiboi had said he was getting up and gaming for half the day I'm sure the responses would have been different!

I don't think 0730 is probably necessary (I don't get up then unless I have to) but 0900-0930 is probably good.

Eurgh this sounds wildly unappealing, never fails to astound how low some people's standards are though on here. I'd be annoyed too OP, so he doesn't work gets up to do the school run during term time, yet during the holidays he lies in bed half the day and leaves you to morning routine. He could still have a lie in for a few hours and be up at a reasonable time to help.