When your parents died, what surprised you about what your siblings wanted from the estate?

[Weenurse]

My Mum passed away recently.
Long way from sorting out her things, but she does have some lovely family pieces and furniture that I thought my siblings would want.
The thing we are light heartedly fighting about, are her recipe books. One book in particular that has all of her hand written family favourites in it.
Mum stipulated names in a hat and pick on drawn out order for fairness. I am hoping to be drawn out first for those books.
(I have already photographed my favourite pages just in case I miss out)
So what surprised you about your family and what they wanted from the estate?

In someways I was surprised how little my siblings wanted , I wonder if they regret it now , I mean the silly sentimental stuff that maybe we bought for them as kids etc . Emotions are very high when a parent passes and I often think they may regret it now x I find great comfort in a lovely ( inexpensive ) glass vase that was in constant use in mums home

My mum had a Pembroke table which went to my brother for a few years but it didn't really suit his house so it came to me for a while until we moved and now it's my very sentimental sister's kitchen table and she loves it.

Wine glass from my Grandma, and her sawing machine. I really wanted it, but didn’t dare to ask.
My Mum has the glass, and Uncle the sawing machine

My DM also kept a few of my dad’s t.shirts, I had one made into a cushion which I keep in my bedroom, I also have a small heart shaped ceramic container with some of my dad’s ashes in it. My DSis didn’t want either of those thing that I have, each to their own I guess.

While I agree with this whole heartedly my father did this and If have liked him yo be a little less "specific' as we have photo albums that says stuff like.

"Our neighbours in x town 1964 the man killed himself many years later"

Similar to others here, my great grandmother's home was stripped by other (previously absent) relatives. My mother, who was her primary carer, also got there too late. The one thing I have to remember her is a small crystal vase that I fill with sweet peas all summer. She gave me this herself when I was a child, and I cherish it. It sits pride of place in my sitting room.

I don't think my grandmother anticipated, neither did any in my immediate family, how others would behave as vultures after she passed. So much I learned later, was also binned or put into charity shops, including all of her photographs. For someone who participated in the war effort, and went through intense hardship, yet was so charitable and loving, it still hurts me to this day how her memory was treated.

I think it's a good reminder to people to please write thorough wills, or ensure some sort of way that the people you love will have at least some way of remembering you by. I'd love to be able to point to a photograph of my grandmother on my wall and say to my kids that's your great great nana.

I kept my mum's Christmas tree and all her decorations, some of which she'd had for so many years. The tree is honestly too big for our front room but I don't care. To see it up with all her decorations on it makes me so happy (and emotional!)

DM didn't have much. I cleared most of her house out, sister helped a lot but she lives a couple of hours away, brother did very little but would always ask about what he could take.

The most surprising thing anyone asked came from my 10 year old DS. He asked if he could keep a resin prism with a unicorn inside that DM kept on the windowsill. He made sure he asked his aunt and uncle if he could too, bless him.

Oh this is so sad! X

I kept some of my mums christmas decorations and her willow pattern dinner set and pans that had been a wedding present to her and my dad. Ex husband refused to let me take them when I left him so he either still has them or he threw them away.

My mam & dad, a keen amateur photographer (thank god now!) did this even with brief "Bray 76" for example, it gives so much context

My Grandads keyring.
It's actually a tag from his Army days in WW2. He always had it as a keyring and I've had it as my keyring for over 20 years now.

My gran was very into quilting and she showed my cousin and I how to sew. We would sew it all together in the garden during the summer. She taught us to embroider too. When she passed away she left us one each and we both wanted the one we all made together. So we picked it apart and took half each. Which we then used to add to with our dc.

Nothing, we cleared the house together, sharing as we went, no surprises or arguments

ive requested, and let my siblings know that I requested, mum’s recipe books too.
like in your family, it’s in her handwriting,has food splashes and our scribbles on it. Has fallen apart, held together by elastic band. But I’ll treasure it.

similarly my brother has written his name on the back of a painting he likes, staking his claim!

mum intends to write a list of her more precious jewellery, assigning it between me DS and SIL, to prevent squabbles…..

my family were wiered they gave me old pottery out of my mothers shed , nothing i was attatch too

My grandad had some brass tigers he had moulded himself at work, I used to play with them as a child so I've got those. I've got my husbands grandmother's mixing bowl, I make my Christmas cakes in it every year. My aunts Mary Stewart books, we used to love chatting about them. Finally, most precious is my mums copy of Heidi, she won it in Sunday school, I slept hanging on to it the night she died (I have a few other books she won but Heidi is my favourite).

I don't think they took anything from Mum but I think one of my brothers got my dad's ring. I encouraged one of the brothers to take my aunt's chair. My SIL asked if I wanted my Aunt's jewellry but sadly I have sausage fingers so it went to her and my neice. There were 3 sewing machines and she asked if I wanted on but no where to keep it and I am not good at sewing. I did want mums ipod and some chinese figures of my aunt's.

When my sister died I took a couple of her t shirts, her mortar and pestle, her baking tray and her microwave.
DS1 took her vintage typewriter, DS2 a football pennant and DD a glass model cat.
It's been five years now but the socks are still going and I think about her often when I use her things. Totally welling up now.

Some lovely stories so place marking

When my ex-MiL died a few years ago, DD1 asked her uncle who was executor if she could have the board game that she'd been banned from the house for accusing him of cheating at when she was about 10. She had to settle for one of her grandma's old aprons instead.

I lived a distance away and myself and brother arranged a date to meet at the house sort out and decide what we each wanted to keep. He rang me two days before the arranged date to say don't bother coming down as he had emptied the house completely and taken what he wanted as he didn't see why I should have anything. Lovely. I haven't spoken to him since and in some ways it was worth it

This is such a brilliant post! It's amazing how petty we all are at times like these

It's lovely to find little daft things that remind you of the person. I have a small tablet bottle in which my dad, ever the womble, had saved some apple pips 😢

Your dad was an excellent chap 😀