When your parents died, what surprised you about what your siblings wanted from the estate?

[Weenurse]

My Mum passed away recently.
Long way from sorting out her things, but she does have some lovely family pieces and furniture that I thought my siblings would want.
The thing we are light heartedly fighting about, are her recipe books. One book in particular that has all of her hand written family favourites in it.
Mum stipulated names in a hat and pick on drawn out order for fairness. I am hoping to be drawn out first for those books.
(I have already photographed my favourite pages just in case I miss out)
So what surprised you about your family and what they wanted from the estate?

I have the most fugly vase from my DGM but she loved it and it’s a lovely reminder of her.

I also have some wooden date blocks from the 60s/70s which all the DGC loved and used to gnaw on when teething. Again, pretty ugly but full of sentimental value.

I have a button basket that was my mum’s, it’s a sort of Ali Baba shape, very 70s.

Our DC has several DVDs of theirs.

I don't have anything from my grandmothers - one was in a home and the other had next to nothing. They lived a long way from us.

I still have both my parents. I would like my mum's silver key necklace that she always wears, that was a 21st birthday present, and a blue tea caddy that was her mother's. She has a lot of jewellery but that will do for me.

I had my nan's rolling pin. I like to think about all the things she baked for us over many years.

Parents still alive but when my grandparents died I wanted photos. No one in my family is that sentimental when it comes to photos but as soon as I made a sound about wanting them my sister rushed over and took them and the album she took mostly contains childhood photos of me!

I have loads of my grandma's old baking stuff. Loads of tins, her jam pan and rolling pin, as well as her index box of recipes. I also have a small handmade wooden chest of drawers, I have such fond memories of the colouring pencils being kept in the bottom drawer when I was a child and went to visit. I spent a lot of time with DGP's growing up as they used to do look after us in all the holidays so the stuff I have is very dear to me.

Same. One sibling took anything of value, all of mum’s jewellery and tried to get the large garden so their son could build houses on it. They also put the house on the market the day after mum died, without consulting the other two children who were also executors.
Needless to say much more came to light and I am now happily NC with them.
Effectively they wheedled thousands of pounds out of our very elderly parents then lied to the solicitors about it all.

Not my parents but my grandparents I have 14 cousins. When I was little I remember us all playing with grandads newton's cradle I really wanted that, tried to exercise my rights as eldest grandchild but it disappeared, I found out later my other cousin has it, 10 years later I'm still a bit salty about it 😁

Oh and I also have my eye on a glass counter protector in Dad's kitchen. It has a cartoon style picture of the Irish football team who qualified for the World Cup in 1990 when we went on to reach the quarter finals. It was the first time we'd qualified for the World Cup and everyone went football crazy that summer. It reminds me of that exciting summer. I suspect my little brother might like it also though.

My aunt, my mum’s much older sister, died and I asked my cousin at the wake if I could have some specific Christmas decorations that I recall being excited to see when I visited her as a child in the late 1970s/1980s. Three Kings that always went on her mantelpiece and a small plastic Father Christmas/Rudolf set that always stood on her tv. Not expensive… but meaningful.

Nice but also sad thread. People really can be nasty.

When my Dad died and we cleared out the house I think it was pretty fair. In fact there might have been more “no you take it” at each other than fighting over things. We divided photos. I didn’t take much but did take the breadboard and the gravy boat from the dinner set we used every day when I was a child. And a mug my mum liked to drink tea from and I like coffee in it.

The other thing I took was a rock. My dad found it on a beach when we were on holiday once and thought it was shaped like a car and he kept it. It was in a wardrobe for years but when Mum went into a nursing home and he was doing some clearing out he found it and put it on the windowsill in his room. I have it on our outdoor table.

I recently picked up some of FIL’s things from MIL’s house. MIL is now in a home and her niece and nephew are sorting things in the house. MIL is DH’s step mother. There were quite a lot of things that she really should have given to DH long ago. She isn’t happy I took them really but as her niece pointed out to her FIL was DH’s dad longer than he was her husband and a lot of it is actually connected to DH’s mum who died when he was young. They have since found some more things including DH’s mum’s engagement ring. And DH’s adoption papers.

DH struggles with MIL as he’s annoyed as she scattered FIL’s ashes without telling him. She let it slip years later. We had had no idea.

I have both my DGMs tea sets. Beautiful old trios of cup/saucer/cake plate. I spend hours on vintage china sites finding replacements for pieces that broke over the years and love to think of my grandmothers when I use them.

That's awful I'm so sorry

I have my mum’s Mason Cash mixing bowl. 🥰
My grandparents had good taste and my mum inherited some lovely things, but when it came to clearing our parents house, my sister declared she only wanted a valuable piece of furniture, the jewellery my mum wanted her to have and none of the ‘other crap’. She was pretty unpleasant about it and I was upset by her attitude, but ultimately, it meant I was able to have the items I valued, appreciated and that held happy memories for me.
A couple of years later, she spotted the Mason Cash bowl in my cupboard and offered to take it off my hands! She also thought it was time for us to discuss who should have ownership of some of the other things I now had on display in my house. Needless to say, I still have them.
Some of the ‘other crap’ items I also have are all the family photos (although I have had good quality copies made for my sister), my mum’s lovely childhood hardback books and the Moulinex electric knife that has been used to carve the turkey every Christmas since the 60’s!

Loving this thread. My parents have a couple of unusually-shaped soup bowls and a jug, remaining from a set bought when they married 65 years ago. I would like the three. P!us plates I remember from when I was very tiny.

And the bread board! And some of the Christmas decorations.

Dh's family (including him I have to say) argued over a WW1 medal belonging to a great uncle no-one had even met. Dh felt he should have it as the oldest son, his sister felt her ds, the oldest grandson should have it, someone else thought a nephew who shared the same name (by accident, not design) should have it.

So my brother and I had a chat about what we would each like when the time comes for us. He wants a pig ornament he bought for my mum years ago. I want the photos.

Sadly for him my mum never particularly liked the pig and thinks she's put it in a charity shop over the years. She'll be spending her last years hunting for a replacement.

I've got my gran's keyring, I saw it in her hand a million times over the years. I'm too scared to use it though in case I lose it, even though I've never lost keys in my life. So far.

And I've got the cardboard sign she used to hang on her door when she was "in the garden". It's looking quite faded now so maybe it needs to go.

I have a ceramic basket of cherries from my favourite great aunt. Basket is white, cherries bright red with green wire stalks. It has no monetary value but it was next to where I always used to sit, so quite sentimental. When my DM asked if I wanted anything this was what I saw every time I shut my eyes ❤️ It’s sits in my kitchen & makes me smile & remember my aunt.

@Weenurse such a shame! I really wish I asked her whilst she was alive. It was this weird pie that was a layer of sausage meat, chicken and stuffing which you would think would be easy to recreate 😂

There’s a lovely idea on not on the high street of printing a recipe onto a cake tin. I’m trying o track one of my grandmas down to do it, bBUT can’t find the right one between my cousins!

Sister went in and took the pictures she liked and didn't consult!

Also took the garden equipment - ancient trowels and hand tools which I'd have loved. In fact she didn't even take them - she gave them to her friend!!!

After sister had picked over, I extracted two old corner tables which I've given to my children, and a couple of nice 19th century chairs which I've reupholstered.

I also got mum's knitting needles. I'll never bend as good a knitter as her, but I love that I have them.

The loss of the garden stuff still hurts. Mum loved her garden and wouldn't have wanted strangers to have her stuff.

My dp’s are still alive.

When dfil died I asked for a dress ring that dmil used to wear on special occasions, it has a story with it and I love it for that reason.
My ds, an adult, got three wade tortoises that fit inside each other because as a small dc he used to play with them constantly.
The three siblings were fair on the whole.
Dh definitely taken advantage of though. He’s too soft.

Pickle forks!

From my GPs I have the nutcrackers, an ancient cookery book and the mantel clock. DH has inherited my GFs stamp collection as no-one else wanted it. He's made great efforts to fill any gaps.

Same here. Vulture sister and her husband took what they wanted and dumped the leftover stuff on the garage floor.