Stupid questions about affording a holiday

[CookingApron]

I'll probably get some robust replies to my stupid questions, but I am ready. I need answers.

I am a primary school teacher. Husband works in middle management in an office. We have three teenage children. We do okay financially, but there's not much left over. The kids all do sports, which is expensive; we eat out a couple of times a year; and clothes are from charity shops mostly. Biggest outgoing is rent. Will never afford to buy a house. We honestly do okay. In fact, I think we're pretty lucky - e.g. the kids all have their own laptops for school, and we can add a couple of treats to the supermarket weekly shop.

I sat in a staff meeting recently and everyone was discussing recent holidays and holiday plans. We have a weekend camping most years, but have never been on a proper holiday - flights and hotels - because I can't see how we'd ever afford it. A lot of the other teachers often go to one particular place abroad and everyone was talking about how they always stay in the Hilton there because it's so great for the kids.

I scurried home and looked it up on their website and WOW it looks amazing. For the 5 of us to stay there it would be nearly £800 per night, and that's before flights, food, and everything else.

Is that really what people spend on a holiday? How are all my colleagues going their with their kids for a week every year? What am I missing?

They don't have three kids? Or they have children under an age where they can get free child places? They can share rooms because their kids are younger?
We have spend £5000 on our current holiday for a fortnight self catering for two adults and DS16. We've gone to Montenegro which is cheaper than a lot of places and slightly out of school hols as DS was GSCE year. We're staying in and cooking more than eating out to save on cost but then we've got an apartment with a private pool only shared with one other apartment.

Well lots of possibilities…

• partners are high earners
• they’ve been able to pay off mortgages with inheritance
• inheritance is funding fun stuff
• they take on additional work
• they have a second property which they rent for passive income (relatively common these days)
• They’re putting it on credit

I know what you mean of course. I look at colleagues at the same level as I am, who have vastly more glamorous lifestyle than me- but I’m a single parent/ single income household, I rent as never inherited family money for a deposit (and was never with a partner long enough to buy) etc etc - and they’re funding their lifestyle with a mixture of the above. So that explains it.

it doesn’t always feel fair does it, but that’s life!

Depends on prioritise and where you want to spend any spare cash... Maybe their kids don't all have their own lap tops or extra sporting activities? I wouldn't spend 800 quid a night on a hotel when for 2k I've managed to get 21 nights including flights in the med during school holidays....

Well they may have low mortgages whereas comparatively you have a high rent?
They may have 1 or 2 kids? Who do less activities?

Many reasons: lower rent/mortgage, less /no children, children do cheaper hobbies, partner earns more, parents pay for holidays...

I guess you must live in London as most the teachers who are married that I know (even if married to teachers) own their own homes and can afford a holiday, not the Hilton though!

We managed a holiday every other year when my dc were in school and we drove via the ferry to wherever we were going, much cheaper. We lived on one income (dc with sn) but not London

we dont seem to have much money to others (council house husband tademan)
however he gets paid well.
i also get a monthly income that most people dont know about . we normally go once a year abraod and spend around 3k . to us its a priority over cars or clothes that arent really needed

Hmm. I was rather hoping that the answer would be, "Oh, no one pays the price listed on the website! It's much cheaper if you.... something something..."

3 children would be the reason . we couldnt do what we do with 3 of them !

But you said £800 per night for 5 of you that's £160 pppn

I have a family of 3 that's what £6720 for 2 weeks?

I'm paying 8k for my summer holiday this year so it's just what it costs/what you want to spend/what you can afford

To an extent - there are sales, you can book in advance or last minute. Traditionally hotels have had a high rack rate but most people haven’t paid it. But I think these days the price on a website is probably accurate.

Assume that people aren’t being quite accurate a lot of the time. I am known to enthuse wildly about luxury hotels, but I haven’t set foot in one since having kids!

You can get a holiday in the Med for way less than £800 pn plus flights, food etc. But a family of 5 will always be more expensive than those with 1/2 DC.

There's endless variables. Sometimes people just don't have the disposable income unfortunately. Sometimes grandparents pay for things like holidays. Other times people spend their money on other things. You mention all your DC doing expensive sports.

Sometimes people spend a lot of money on other small unnecessary purchases and that's their holiday money gone. Eg both adults spending £10 a day on lunch and coffee every working day is over £400 pm or nearly £5k per year - if others don't do that and take packed lunches, that's enough to pay for a holiday right there.

Then you've also got the cost of hobbies, grooming, clothes, cars on finance, takeaways etc etc.

Some people spend less on groceries meaning they have more money available for other things. You see huge variations in amount spent quoted on here - under £100 pw to over £200 pw. Even £100 pw difference is £5k pa, again enough for a holiday.

All you can do is look at your budget and see if on paper you have enough for a holiday and if you do, prioritise saving for one and be mindful that overspending in other areas will mean that you're spending money that you could earmark for a holiday.

Most teachers can afford a holiday.

It's probably more driving over to France and self catering or Airbnb in the Lake District, but teaching salaries plus another salary usually allow for a holiday,

Plenty of teachers are married to higher earners as well.

I suspect your three teenagers and their expensive hobbies plus possibly expensive rent may be the issue.
Are you London or close?

Two income household one teaching will buy a house most places in the country,

I don’t know about getting the Hilton cheaper but it’s definitely possible to have a nice holiday abroad for less than that! For 5 of you rather than an hotel you are probably better off getting an Airbnb/apartment with multiple bedrooms, which has the added bonus of being able to self-cater. Flights on budget airlines can be got very cheaply if you keep an eye out - a colleague flew to Portugal for £20 earlier this year.

Are you in London or the south east? I feel like just a weekend camping sounds particularly frugal for the jobs you have.

Our holidays are usually £2-2.5k for a weeks AI. Similar salaried jobs as you. We save up for them. And maybe live in a cheaper part of the country

We are in the north east, to give you an idea of our mortgage cost. We paid just over £4k for 2 adults and 2 children (3 and 5) for 10 days all inclusive in Cyprus, booking it 18 months ago and paying it off at £300 a month

People might book far in advance or choose the rubbish flight times to keep costs down, but I think having three children is probably what makes the biggest difference. Many places can accommodate two children in one room but three requires an upgrade. Or they go on holidays that have a ‘free’ child’s place per adult.

Holidays are are priority for some people and they will cut costs in other areas to be able to pay for them. Mortgages are often lower than rent and not everyone’s children do expensive sports.

Cheaper holidays are available.. Not all are 800 per night!
I book early and spend time looking for the best value for money . I sort the results from low to high pricing and go from there. For example this year has been tough and I wanted as long a holiday as I could afford so worked out my order of priorities which were dates, local amenities, guaranteed sunshine, departure airports but compromised on accommodation and gone for 3 star sc (but checked lots of reviews)

I definitely have the crappiest car in the school car park!
And we all take packed lunches, no one is spending $10 on coffee or sushi.
I do 6 hours of tutoring a week which brings in a bit extra. All the kids have part-time jobs for fun spending money (McDonalds and clothes).

I think it's the rent mostly. My colleagues mostly own their houses outright. And our third child. Wouldn't be without her!

Me and my partner call it ‘secret money’. Especially common among state sector employers like yourself and us. Money from parents, partner, tenants in a house their nan used to own, large inheritance etc. I feel like MOST people who work in low paid jobs like teaching, NHS (from experience of working with these people) have secret money. Usually a partner but I’ve known other types like owning inherited property (no mortgage), owns dividends in daddy’s company etc.

I saved up for 3 years to go abroad this summer for 10 days. We're doing B&B in Greece peak time. 2 adults and 2 kids £4k. I booked it a year in advance to get a good deal. We did go camping and have a couple of nights away here and there so not solidly saving for that time.
I've not been abroad for 6 years due to covid and the cost.

£800 pn is £5600 for a week, which realistically is going to be £8/9k with everything else.

Many people won't be paying anywhere near that amount. They'll have a lovely holiday but it won't be a luxury hotel.

Driving to France and staying in a caravan or Gite is often said to be much cheaper.

Or cheap and cheerful AI in Spain or Turkey. Or self catering then a mix of eating out and drinks, snacks and easy food from the supermarket. Loads of ways to have a week abroad for far less than £8/9k.

Plus people in similar jobs often earn varying amounts of money. A teacher could earn between £30k and £60k easily. Someone in 'middle management' I'd expect to be on £40k up to £100k+.

So you should be on nearly £100k between you, but if it's a bit less than this and your rent is high, obviously your disposable income is going to be hugely less than a household with an income of £150k, 2 DC and lower housing costs.

I need to find me some 'secret money'!

How much is your rent?

I'm NHS. Just back from a glorious week in Croatia with two teens. I paid less than £100 each return for flights with Ryanair and stayed in a lovely AirBnB in the old town at a cost of approximately £50 a night. We ate out some nights but went to the supermarket for things too (we had a kitchen). Uber from the airport was €7.

Plenty of things to do for free.

I'm going back in September! £27.99 flight out, £49.99 flight back. Cheaper than a train ticket to London!