Stupid questions about affording a holiday

[CookingApron]

I'll probably get some robust replies to my stupid questions, but I am ready. I need answers.

I am a primary school teacher. Husband works in middle management in an office. We have three teenage children. We do okay financially, but there's not much left over. The kids all do sports, which is expensive; we eat out a couple of times a year; and clothes are from charity shops mostly. Biggest outgoing is rent. Will never afford to buy a house. We honestly do okay. In fact, I think we're pretty lucky - e.g. the kids all have their own laptops for school, and we can add a couple of treats to the supermarket weekly shop.

I sat in a staff meeting recently and everyone was discussing recent holidays and holiday plans. We have a weekend camping most years, but have never been on a proper holiday - flights and hotels - because I can't see how we'd ever afford it. A lot of the other teachers often go to one particular place abroad and everyone was talking about how they always stay in the Hilton there because it's so great for the kids.

I scurried home and looked it up on their website and WOW it looks amazing. For the 5 of us to stay there it would be nearly £800 per night, and that's before flights, food, and everything else.

Is that really what people spend on a holiday? How are all my colleagues going their with their kids for a week every year? What am I missing?

My DC are older now but I didn’t find package holidays too much more with a family of 5, I booked 2 interconnecting rooms (so paid for 4 adults) and then often got a free child place. It was nice to have the extra space, 2 bathrooms, double the wardrobes etc.

But with a family of four, you often only have to pay for one family room (maybe not as doable with teens, but it depends on your set-up).

Then a family of five has to pay for an extra plane seat, extra transfer costs, extra luggage allowance - even if you stay AI, most people still want to go off-site and do some other things other than sit round the pool - and it costs more for 5 vs 4 etc.

Of course fewer children plays a part, how can anyone think it doesn't?

More people to feed and clothe.
More people having showers
More shoes - teenage shoes aren't cheap.
More children to pay swimming lessons for and other sports and activities (Dance, sports, music)

3 children probably mean bigger cars, people carrier type things with 3 proper back seats. Not getting away with one biggish car and one small hatch.

Holiday accommodation for 4 is fairly straightforward - 5 becomes more complicated, not many hotels can accommodate 5 in one room or apartment - or your paying a premium for luxury apartments.

Even going out for a meal it's 5 adults they are paying for, and odd number limits the 2 for 1 deals.

The only other thing I can think of that makes a difference is rent vs mortgage. Mortgage more or less stays the same for 25 years, Rent goes up with the cost of living.

We have a monthly standing order into a holiday savings account. We don't go out much, don't have expensive cars or clothes, we just get by. We are fortunate to have had amazing holidays thanks to good recommendations and a lot of research. We book flights and private accommodation rentals in quieter areas well in advance. These are within easy access of a town with a few restaurants and cafes, beach and supermarket. Location is everything. We hire a car, do a big shop including wine which is usually cheaper locally. We also visit local markets for fresh produce again usually amazing quality and cheap. When DCs were little we took a big cool bag to the beach with lunch, snacks and drinks. Now they are older we eat out more but save money in other ways.

@locket2009 what sc is basic?. I've always found sc far more characterful and interesting than bland mass built hotels

I think the only way you will afford it is by setting the date first for two years ahead and then making holiday trawling your new hobby. There are deals to be had that you can pay for monthly and by doing it well in advance it makes it easier to pay for .

I think it all depends on everyone’s outgoings really.. ours have really heightened lately due to childcare costs and our mortgage rate going up. My wages disappear every month and I don’t put anything into savings at the moment.
I currently work part time while my youngest is at nursery, partner is full time self employed tradesman who does pretty well.
We have an all inclusive holiday booked for August for 10 nights, no free child place sadly and that’s cost us £4300. It’s very normal now to be paying £5000 ish to go away during school holidays!
We have afforded it without credit, but ultimately we do cut back on other areas where we waste money.
Eldest son does a couple of sports weekly, which costs us around £50-£60 per month but that’s it at the moment as youngest isn’t quite ready for stuff like that yet.

There are some websites where you can get cheaper hotel rates and I personally wouldn’t pay £800 per night at a hotel! Maybe they have cheap mortgages? Less children? No sports etc.

We have spent £4K for two adults and two kids (youngest was free until this year) each year. It’s crazy OP, our household income is about £140k and we question each year if it’s worthwhile. It’s ridiculous.

We are off to Mallorca all inclusive for a wewk in August with our 9 year old. Paid just under £3k. I earn £45.5 k and DH is on £28k.

Daughter paid £4,000 for family holiday in August , 10 days , all inclusive , flights n transfers to Turkey 3 *hotel for 2 adult , 3 children . Jet 2

I'm older now with adult children but I sympathise @CookingApron. We had a mortgage and used to go self catering to Menorca when we had two/three DC and had a lovely time on a site with two pools and a beach, no fancy entertainment but a children's disco in a local hotel. Once we had four DC it just became un-doable, not enough hands at the airport and larger apartments were just too expensive. We stopped going abroad in 1985 and didn't go again for more than 10 years, my DC moaned a bit but understood why we'd rather be solvent than have flashy holidays.
Two of my DC now have DC of their own and spend an absolute fortune on holidays, for the rest of the year they moan that they are hard up.
You've got different priorities to the people that you work with, they probably spend most of the year paying off their holiday credit card bills. If you don't have the money you don't need to go away anywhere, you can have lovely days out from home.

This year we’re doing 10 days in France for £400 plus sending money, petrol and extra for tolls. House swap for first 7 nights another family, their house looks gorgeous and has a pool, we’re going on Le Shuttle and driving, this I paid for with Tesco clubcard vouchers plus £100 top up. Great to drive as no need to hire a car when you get there and loads cheaper than flying, parking at airport and hiring a car. Then we’re going to coast for 3 nights and staying in an Airbnb. I also have 3 kids. You can do holidays really cheaply if you are savvy about it.

@SunshinDay I much prefer the small family owned self catering over a boring all the same could be anywhere big hotels. I meant that in Greece the sc apartment a are generally furnished fairly basically wooden furniture and a small kitchen area (not that we use this organ than for cereal for dc!) so rooms probs not as luxurious but definitely worth having the extra money to go out and about ☺️

I wouldn’t go with the website price, instead I would price up via a tour operator like TUI or if you know an independent that’s quite good. If you book well in advance and are able to do a payment plan, you could book now for next summer. Obviously you need to have the spare income to pay monthly. You don’t have to go crazy expensive, there are perfectly good cheaper options which are all
inclusive. You could go with a 3 star with decent reviews and still have a perfectly lovely time.

Same situation as you..no inheritance or bank of mum/dad to pay deposit so all comes from my earnings..and it's hard isn't it. Some days doesn't bother me..other days it.does. but like you say.. c'est la vie

Me too..

Really interesting thread. I’d agree with everyone who said that it sounds like it’s a case of rent + 3 teens - secret money (love that phrase). It’s sounds like you’ve latched on to the Hilton comment in particular, but as others have said if you really want to go abroad then there is so much choice out there if you have time to do the research (obviously not a given). I think I’m more comfortably off than you (no secret money though!) and I wouldn’t spend that kind of money on a hotel. I almost had an argument with a colleague who said she’d never make her family stay in a Travelodge. I would totally stay in a Travelodge especially if it means we can go away for longer or to more places. I think my point is that as with anything in life if more travel is something you want to start prioritising then there are options. I feel for you though - it’s hard to have a holiday conversation at work without it getting a bit braggy and people coming away from it feeling bad.

Hilton package deal b b and dinner with ba flight or jet2cprobably cheaper
Have a look at jet2 or tui

I always think this too. I'm a teacher (many years in and with a tlr so I'm earning a decent amount) husband on a decent wage (somewhere around average for UK a bit less). 2 children. We had a decent sized inheritance of which some is in savings for the children for uni etc and the rest got used up on house stuff. We have 2 cars that are 12 and 18 years old, no loans or finance other than the mortgage (which is a reasonable size but not huge still under 1k).

We cannot afford a holiday like everyone we know goes on. We only holiday in the UK and even then it's a stretch. Obviously being stuck to school hols doesn't help being able to afford things but our week away in the UK is still over 1k for self catering in a nice looking but not fancy (no hot tub etc) cottage in an area that isn't the most touristy (not by the coast and still a reasonable drive of 30 mins + to any actual tourist attractions). I honestly don't know how people afford their foreign holidays. However me and DH did discuss a holiday of the lifetime when the inheritance came in before we used it on boring life stuff and we realises that neither of us was willing to drop that much on holiday. Yes it's an experience and we love experiences (we usually buy experiences rather than physical gifts for the kids for birthdays etc) but we looked at the holidays and all we could think was that's a new bathroom, that's a new (to us) car, that's getting the garden landscaped.

In my experience people that go on posh holidays have well off parents who either subsidise holidays, or help out in general when buying a house etc. In your circumstances your biggest outgoing is rent. We would loose out on approx £200 per month if we had to rent vs mortgage payments and house insurance.
We (family of 4) haven't been on abroad holiday. It's too expensive. 800 per night is extortionate. I don't think anyone I know has spent anywhere near that (and few colleagues do go on posh hols)
Staycations are great IMO

We always went to French campsites when ours were younger. They were so affordable, and were full of families with 3+ kids

My tips - get cheap flights to somewhere in Europe like Barcelona. From there you can take a cheap bus to Salou where you can stay in a nice hotel near the beach fairly reasonably. There is a big theme park and water park there for a good day out too. Go for 5 nights. It’s still worth it. It won’t cost much more than camping in the U.K. but feels like a world away. Same with Turkey. Shop around for deals. You don’t need to stay at the Hilton to have a lovely time away.

DH and I both low/middle-management (non-academic) in HEIs. Have a mortgage in the SE.

Two primary-aged DC.

Don't live an extravagant lifestyle (one 10-year-old car, don't drink, rarely buy clothes or much else for ourselves) so able to save a fair amount each month.

Still have been pretty thrifty so far on holidays (didn't really see the point on expensive holidays with young DC! Particularly as we live somewhere with good access to beaches, the countryside, castles). This year was the first time we went abroad with them (a few days in a European country).

We're renting a pretty luxury air BnB with a private pool next year for a week in a European country. Going two days before May half-term as flights were cheaper (realise you can't do that as a teacher). Flights, car hire and accommodation are £2500 which I thought was pretty good.

One week in Tenerife from Scotland in August £675, flights and accommodation for two people. It was only booked this week.

A personal question but we are all anonymous on here 😊.
Do you have credit card debt or loans?
if not, then your financial position is probably that you are living within your means which is brilliant.