Stupid questions about affording a holiday

[CookingApron]

I'll probably get some robust replies to my stupid questions, but I am ready. I need answers.

I am a primary school teacher. Husband works in middle management in an office. We have three teenage children. We do okay financially, but there's not much left over. The kids all do sports, which is expensive; we eat out a couple of times a year; and clothes are from charity shops mostly. Biggest outgoing is rent. Will never afford to buy a house. We honestly do okay. In fact, I think we're pretty lucky - e.g. the kids all have their own laptops for school, and we can add a couple of treats to the supermarket weekly shop.

I sat in a staff meeting recently and everyone was discussing recent holidays and holiday plans. We have a weekend camping most years, but have never been on a proper holiday - flights and hotels - because I can't see how we'd ever afford it. A lot of the other teachers often go to one particular place abroad and everyone was talking about how they always stay in the Hilton there because it's so great for the kids.

I scurried home and looked it up on their website and WOW it looks amazing. For the 5 of us to stay there it would be nearly £800 per night, and that's before flights, food, and everything else.

Is that really what people spend on a holiday? How are all my colleagues going their with their kids for a week every year? What am I missing?

I would love to know where you’re going that is £2k for 21 nights! And how many people is it for?

Use Air bnb not hotels
book easyJet / Ryanair flights as soon as they are released ( budget about £1000)
Think less popular destinations- eg Montenegro not Croatia ( much cheaper - same coast line)
Whichever way you cut it though you are looking at around £4K when all expenses are accounted for.

This rings very true for me. I think I can't afford a holiday but then when I look closely at what I spend on unnecessaries I have to admit that I probably could if I prioritised differently.

I decided this week to start taking my own tea / milk into work instead of buying a couple a day. Will then put that money into my saving account. I won't get a holiday from that this year (!) but with other similar cutbacks I think I can do it next year.

@CookingApron look up house swapping. It's undoubtedly your answer! If you think your home not tidy enough work on decluttering this next year. Doesn't matter if you're not in a tourist area, people need accommodation for other reasons eg visiting parents who've down sized.

We will go to Spain this summer. The kids will have their own bedrooms, there's toys, a swimming pool, fully equipped kitchen. We spent £800 on flights. We'll need a hire car.

We have 2 other uk holidays booked in. Cost? Just diesel.

My tent is now very dusty.

Airbnbs are probably your best option with three kids. I much prefer airbnbs anyway as get your own living space. Eurocamp is also cheap and you can go on eurotunnel to French destinations, v cheap, we actually paid eurotunnel with tesco vouchers one year!

I never took my DC on fancy holidays. We'd go camping or go on a 'The Sun' holidays with the vouchers. Even now, they've left home, I still can't afford to go on a fancy break. I take a £250 coach holiday.

The important part is the time you spend together, not where you spend that time in.

I think your two issues are rent and 3 kids.
Lots of people who bought their first house in their mid 20s will have relatively low mortgage or have the mortgage paid off by mid to late 40s.
The first few years of a mortgage is hard but the mortgage stays the same (excluding interest) while income goes up. Lots of people made good use of the low interest years by overpaying their mortgage so when the interest rates when up they aren't massively affected.

3 teenage kids is your other issue.
Family holiday places are set up for families of 4.
Often family room have one double bed and set of bunks or double and sofa bed.

I know a family of 5 who teamed up with a family of 3 and saved a fortune by having their 3rd child share with the other family (this only works if the kids are really good friends)
Or go with grandparents and again get two family rooms.

Children under 12 are relatively cheap often a free child place and reduced rate. Teens more or less pay full adult prices.

We have just got back from Greece. A few years back I was in a slump wondering how everyone else seemed to be able to afford holidays when we were paycheck to paycheck. I could not figure it out so I took a very hard look at what we were spending out money on- and the amount of 'leakage' on stupid shit was staggering. We used to go out every Sunday night for example- I had a toxic job and that was the only way I could avoid the 'Sunday blues'. But that was adding up to alot. That was the most obvious thing to go (and the job went in the end as well).

So I set up a separate holiday account. I have a standing order on payday to remove a portion so i don't even 'see' it in my current account. Then had to make sure I made the required cutbacks so that i did not have to dip into it. Gradually over time I have managed to increase that amount (it started off as £100 a month). Then the past 2 years I have done extra seasonal work for 6 weeks on top of my job (evenings) specifically so i could top up the holiday account. It's knackering working 3 evenings a week but I am used to it now and it adds about 1500 to the account so a good boost.

But as everyone else says- you have 3 kids and pay rent. That's going to be tough no matter what. But I would as a first step take a long hard look at what you are spending on. My kids don't do any extra curriculars except for swimming (and DS1 gets that for free because it is a special class for disabled children). It may be that what is emotionally best for your kids are the sports they do rather than a week away somewhere, only you can judge that.

I think some people prioritise holidays. I often see figures of 8/10k on here as normal. We have a good income but couldn’t afford that however we have a large mortgage, people even a few yrs older will have paid a lot less.

You can get cheaper. But 5 people is always going to be more expensive

You you rent a place with 2-3 bedrooms privately for £1000-1500 a week. Add flights found cheap £500 (100 each), and £1000 for extras like car hire, eating out, excursions and it’s £2500- £3000. Which is only around £500 each per week

Me and my partner call it ‘secret money’. Especially common among state sector employers like yourself and us. Money from parents, partner, tenants in a house their nan used to own, large inheritance etc. I feel like MOST people who work in low paid jobs like teaching, NHS (from experience of working with these people) have secret money. Usually a partner but I’ve known other types like owning inherited property (no mortgage), owns dividends in daddy’s company etc.

And this

Three older kids is the issue.

We are doing a cheap break with friends this year - hiring a gite in France. It's about £2k per week, between the two families. Plus crossings and fuel.

I don’t think they’re spending £800 a night!

you can get super cheap bnbs in places like Greece / Spain. £60 on. Book flights early enough and they’re cheap.

we are going to France and it was £265 return on the ferry for all 5 of us plus car

In terms of other things I used to spend on that I realised was leaking money;

• haircuts- I now go to our local college to get my hair cut - £14 compared to £50-ish. (My hair style is pretty simple though)
• Makeup- I never buy new makeup on a whim... I have to use up all my stash of makeup and various creams....... I still have not yet used it up and it is 2 years since I started!
• magazines- I was spending £18 a month on lifestyle magazines... that's over £200 a year
• my 'treat' was to have a monthly facial- at £60 a pop. Now I do it myself (with my creams!)
• I don't waste food as much now.... I love cooking and used to make a pretty gourmet meal every day. Now not so much. Simple things, and one night a week we just have eggs and beans on toast. Dcs prefer that meal above all others anyway!
• We drive our cars into the ground..... they are now 12 and 14 years old.

That's pretty personal to me- and your spending will be different but there will be wasteage there somewhere. It was the frittering on stuff - out of habit or boredom- that I was blowing money on.

Also because teachers and school staff alll go on holiday at the same time there's always the 'where are you going' chat in the staffroom, and it does often surprise me what people seem to be able to afford. We always have modest UK holidays.
You say you do alright, so that sounds good, it's what happens for 50 weeks of the year is the important bit. Plus rent and 3 children is expensive.
Having said that there are cheaper ways to have holidays abroad as described above.

I have quite a low income but DH is a software engineer. People aren't aware his salary is so high as the same role can be paid much lower depending on the company. He has been with the same company for over a decade and has an amazing salary package including shares, which have ballooned in that time. No inheritance or money from family - everything has been earned or investment gains.

We have a mortgaged house in London and take 2 overseas holidays a year, plus a couple of UK breaks. Have only paid for flights for 3 so far - youngest has recently turned 2.

Having three teenagers is going to be expensive at the best or times - especially when they all do their own sports and then you they all have their own laptops too.

If you add in costs like clothes, basic grooming and toiletries, appointments (dentists etc) and any medication they need, then it soon shoots up without you really noticing as it's just day to day necessities rather than anything overly frivolous.

That being said, you don't need to spend £800 a night for a holiday - self catering is always much cheaper, or booking places without a balcony or that are a ten minutes from the beach rather than 10 metres etc.

I work in public sector, and most of my colleagues with children seem to be staying in England or Wales and going camping / self catering. I think the cost of summer hols travel is just far too much for most. Those going abroad seem to be going with parents/ in-laws so I guess they might be paying most of the costs.

But some people do sacrifice everything else for their two weeks in a hotel in the sun (and pay for it using overtime / second job).

We do easyJet or Ryanair flights. And airb&bs.

We are off to Spain this weekend. Family of 4. Own villa, private pool and garden, sun terrace, air con, 4 double rooms. Total cost including airport parking £3.5k for 7 nights. We put away savings each month into a holiday fund.

Yes we will have to cater for ourselves but it's close to a big supermarket and on the bus route.

You need to find locations for cheap flights first. Then hit up Vrbo or airb&b for accommodation.

We looked to do a hotel break as the kids are young and would probably like the entertainment etc. but it would have been absolutely insane prices. Us adults much prefer privacy of a villa anyway so we kept with the norm!

2 adults, 4 kids. Booked in May, going away October. Paid it in two instalments with travel agents.

And our third child. Wouldn't be without her!

Definitely worth a few holidays then!

We can afford holidays (one child, also a teacher but DH earns well and we bought property young) but neither of us are that into them. Apart from a few city breaks we've been on one 'proper' holiday abroad in the whole of DC childhood (now 20). It was two weeks and we were completely done after a week - that was 15 years ago! We go for a few days camping or now we are older and cba to camp rent a cottage somewhere in the UK for a week (and only because DC badger us to do this).

They probably have less children, the cost of a 3rd child would pay for that holiday.

We have never done a hotel holiday abroad, we have 3 DC too. We probably could if we planned a year ahead. What we are doing this year is booked an air bnb for 5 in Europe months ago and we are doing a long drive to get there, meaning that we will have car to get about. We are stopping overnight on the way there and back. You can still get very cheap family rooms in motels in Europe.

We've never been sitting by the pool or on the beach people anyway, so it suits us.

I know what you mean though. I'm always confused when people on modest incomes are off to Florida or New Zealand. The flights alone would be more than we've ever spent on a holiday.

Where? Please tell me where!

You have three kids, that's alot of extra expense on an ongoing basis. Bigger car needed, bigger house, more seats on a plane, bigger hotel room etc.