Stupid questions about affording a holiday

[CookingApron]

I'll probably get some robust replies to my stupid questions, but I am ready. I need answers.

I am a primary school teacher. Husband works in middle management in an office. We have three teenage children. We do okay financially, but there's not much left over. The kids all do sports, which is expensive; we eat out a couple of times a year; and clothes are from charity shops mostly. Biggest outgoing is rent. Will never afford to buy a house. We honestly do okay. In fact, I think we're pretty lucky - e.g. the kids all have their own laptops for school, and we can add a couple of treats to the supermarket weekly shop.

I sat in a staff meeting recently and everyone was discussing recent holidays and holiday plans. We have a weekend camping most years, but have never been on a proper holiday - flights and hotels - because I can't see how we'd ever afford it. A lot of the other teachers often go to one particular place abroad and everyone was talking about how they always stay in the Hilton there because it's so great for the kids.

I scurried home and looked it up on their website and WOW it looks amazing. For the 5 of us to stay there it would be nearly £800 per night, and that's before flights, food, and everything else.

Is that really what people spend on a holiday? How are all my colleagues going their with their kids for a week every year? What am I missing?

I don’t know anyone who spends £800 a night on a holiday.

I get less than £24k a year, which includes my salary, child benefit and some UC top up.
I am a single parent and that money covers all bills, including rent and everything else we need like clothes etc.

I obviously can’t afford many luxuries like holidays and eating out but I can’t see how you and your DH can’t get a mortgage or go on holiday.

I would definitely look to see how much you are spending on unnecessary things.

I would also look into first home buyer schemes and things because the mortgage may work out cheaper than your rent.

What ages are you both op and what region are you in as that makes a difference.

We’re doing Disney Land Paris for three of us quite cheaply in August. That’s 2 adults and a teenage girl. I appreciate your family is bigger but these were our costs to give an idea and you could adjust accordingly;

Flights with a backpack each: £447
DLP tickets: £750 (ish)- 3 days, 2 parks
Apartment for 4 days: £440
Parking at airport: £81
Charging the car: £15
Eating out: £300
Snacks to take with us: £100
Misc eg suncream: £30
Spends: £150 (£50 each)
RER travel: £200
2 x data roaming packages: £50
insurance for all of us: £367.

Total: £2900

I’ve tried to be as comprehensive as possible. Still might be possible for you 🤞

Some cost savings:

Last September, we booked flights to Asia for 6k less than it would have been if we booked from January.

I book hotels in advance because they're almost always cheaper if you do. Take advantage of savings made via 3rd party sites (Expedia etc). We booked a Hilton hotel in Miami this way, and it was like 180 per night, right on South Beach in the summer holidays.

^Which brings me to another point, book off season if you can/want to. Miami is hot in the summer, but we are fine with heat generally. Other people aren't, so the place was so empty and a much more pleasant experience than when we traveled there in season (Dec).

We go with our family and split the cost of accommodations. We find bigger places across the world and pay nowhere near 800 per night. Wonderful holidays are very affordable this way.

Road trips into Europe are fun. Flight savings can be made if you look ahead of time.

All inclusive packages are not always the cheapest way to go somewhere. Through experience, we DIY our holidays 100% of the time. We never book flights via third party after observing how that can go very wrong.

Food; we take essentials with us, but we shop in local supermarkets where we're there. Aldi USA is very expensive but there are good deals in the European ones. Asia is cheap. We eat out only a few times if we're staying in a place with a kitchen. When in a hotel, we make use of Uber eats etc to cut costs.

We earn quite well but honestly we'd not spend 800 on a hotel room per night. I'm paying 250 per night to stay in a nicer hotel (in an expensive Asian country) this summer and it's definitely a first lol. But doesn't mean we haven't stayed in nice hotels ever before, we just look around for good deals and pay attention to guest reviews.

everyone was talking about how they always stay in the Hilton there

Everyone? Always? Really?! That sounds like my daughter when she was in year 4 telling me ’everyone’ else in the year had an iPhone!

You do one weekend camping a year. Some people go to the Hilton in Malta (or wherever). Those aren’t the only two option. There is a massive amount of middle ground between those thing.

camp for a week
do an Airbnb in this country
airbnb in France and drive
house swap

I think it's probably because you rent and you have 3 children. As renters you are almost definitely paying more for your housing versus a mortgage. With 3 children you probably have to book 2 or 3 hotel rooms, or a very big suite. I have 2 children and we have to get a big suite that ends up costing more than 2 double rooms but the kids are too young to be staying in a different hotel room from us.

If it’s Hilton, and their partners travel a lot for work and stay in Hilton group hotel, they could be getting free nights from the loyalty scheme.

Ultimately, I think the fact you have 3 teenagers is going to be the reason it costs so much, as you’ll automatically be forced to book 2 rooms, and no reduced fees for children under 12.

We went to Croatia for 10 days, beautiful air bnbs right by the sea.

Flights were under £500 for 4 people

Air bnbs £1600 total

While holiday for 4 £2100

Renting is way more expensive than having a mortgage usually. I think this is the difference. Our mortgage is £800, if renting it would be £2000 at least

Did you really pay £367 for insurance?

(It's a really useful post btw, just shocked at that number!).

Tbh this is the kind of thing I’d say. Not tone deaf at all. Part time nanny is often cheaper than nursery for 2 children. And no to me Dublin is not a holiday as we have family there, so although we might stay in a hotel and do a few outings it’s not a holiday if we are just visiting parents for the weekend. it might have sounded snotty but maybe it wasn’t meant to be.

My 10 day holiday to Greece in June was good value IMO at just over £2k for 2.

Midweek flights to Athens were about £130 each, one shared hold bag.
Hotel €90 per night
Car hire about £150
Food and activities £50-80 a day.
Airport parking about £150.

I'm also a teacher, have 2 teenage DC. I remember looking about 10 years ago to see how much a 2 week package holiday to e.g. Spain would cost for 4 and it turned out it was £4k. It was too much as we were paying for childcare and we too stuck with camping until I came into some of that 'secret money' (all gone now).

My parents had less well paid jobs than me and DH have but they managed a family holiday abroad with me every year in the 80s. My mum maintained it was actually cheaper than holidaying in the UK as you didn't need to pay for endless things to do in the rain! Although I was an only child, the cost of it relative to household budgets has definitely soared.

The problem with teaching is the obvious point that we are stuck with the school holiday price hikes. I'm currently the main earner and things are so tight with us that I can't even afford peak season RyanAir flights for me and the DCs to go and visit a friend who lives in Europe.

These threads are often boiled down to “how do people afford x while spending and earning exactly the same as me?” And the answer is often - “you see what they spend but not what they don’t spend”

So they have only 1 or 2 dcs and aren’t spending as much weekly on food, they aren’t paying out for sports activities, or their dcs activities are cheaper.

our mortgage is about £500 a month less than it would be to rent this house.

And then there’s the possibility their other half earns way more than you think.

A lot of my globe trotting teacher colleagues have high earning partners or parents.

Holidays don't need to be that expensive. We are going camping in France this summer, which costs £350 for 2 weeks plus £200 for the ferry and maybe another £300 for fuel. AI is often cheaper in spring and autumn too.

But you just had another post where you complained how awful your holiday in Croatia was, with your teenagers!? That you would never bring them on holiday again!?

”It's just 💩. Really is.”

I would expect a teacher and middle manager to be able to afford a holiday.

Dp works in the NHS, band 4 so fairly low earner,.and I work for a charity, I'm on nowhere near teacher wages and we manage a holiday most years. We have no 'secret money' just our own salaries. We have 2 DC, have a mortgage, run 2 older cars, all the standard family outgoings. We don't eat/drink out as a couple or family very often though.

We prioritise holidays and save for it every month, we treat it like we would any other bill. We look out for cheap deals and spend hours working out the most cost effective ways to do it. Usually an all inclusive package about £2.5k, that woild.be every 18 months rather than every year.
We don't always go abroad. We're just back from a UK lodge holiday with hot tub, that was £400 for accommodation plus we spent about £400 while we were away including food and petrol . That was booked in the January sale and we do something like that every year.

We couldn't do it when dc were young and we had a huge childcare bill but now they're 9 and teen it's manageable, even though we're not high earners.

Do you live in London or South East OP, because if you do there's your answer right there. Teachers in the North and Midlands get similar pay but it goes a lot further. Both rents and mortgages are so much cheaper. I let out several large 3 bedroom houses with nice gardens in ok areas in the Midlands for £880 pcm. If you're in London or South East you'd probably be paying £1600 pcm for similar.

I think somebody was talking about upwards of 8 k for a holiday in Greece. Mind blowing. I can't imagine ever enjoying something that cost 1 k per day.

Madness.

We're in Oz, so much pricier to go anywhere. The answer is not anything magical. It's 'priorities'. (Not a barefoot follower, but we've been using similar principles for 30 years.)

We prioritise travel over day to day material things or lifestyle. Instead of putting treats in our trolley, take away or buying yet more clothes or another streaming service, we auto transfer into a seperate holiday account each pay as part of our budget.

We choose destinations that aren't trendy, out of peak season & stay in cheaper accom outside the popular zone. Often the destination is chosen on where is cheap & looks interesting.

We mostly self cater or eat cheaply. If driving, I pre buy a lot of non perishables & snacks by adding a few bits each shop.

We find mostly free things to do. But, we go to explore & immerse, not flop in a resort or visit man made activities.

It's because you're renting and have three teenage DC.

We own our house, our mortgage is £1,100 per month. To rent it would be £2,500 a month. Usually people's mortgage costs are cheaper than equivalent rent costs, especially once they've been on the housing ladder a few years.

We have two DDs so it makes it easier in terms of sharing a room. For example, we're going on a cruise to France and Spain for a week this year for £3k in the summer holidays, that includes all of our food too. But we are four of us sharing an inside cabin. We couldn't do that with three children.

We alternate a holiday abroad with a holiday in the UK each summer. The UK ones are always either a cheap caravan somewhere or teaming up with other extended family members and renting out a big house. That normally ends up far cheaper in cost per couple.

Like others have said, we have a separate account we save into. We have a "holidays and Christmas" fund that money gets automatically transferred into every month and we treat it like another bill. It means we don't get takeaways, buy new clothes etc....everything is from Vinted, we all take packed lunches to school and work etc but we'd rather spend the money on holidays. We spend far less than some others on Christmas too, a budget of £100 per person for presents (for DH, I and DDs plus Christmas dinner. That's about £500 all in which I've seen others on here saying they spend per DC!) But it means we have more money out of that savings account for a summer holiday.

You can afford a holiday once the kids are old enough (although assume some are over 16 already as you said they have part time jobs).

It's just a choice you made to have 3 that means you won't be able to give them a foreign holiday. But you and your DH can still go in time.

Well, there are ways to reduce the cost @CookingApron, but they don't reduce it to hundreds of pounds, unless you camp. But no, people don't always pay the price you see on the hotel's website.

Ways to make it cheaper:

• Buy a package;
• Book a year or more in advance and lock in a cheaper price;
• Get free child places (you usually have to book far in advance to get these);
• DC under two fly free;
• Loyalty card schemes (your friends who always go to the Hilton may get a preferential rate if they're loyal to that brand);
• A lot of people cram their entire family into one room (not really possible with three DC, particularly three teens, but certainly possible if you have two);
• Sometimes the grandparents pay or contribute;
• Estate planning means that sometimes if GPs are well off they give a gift each year to their DC to reduce the amount they'll inherit and dodge inheritance tax.

You never know what other people's finances are like, but don't assume they're the same as yours.

I'd also consider renting an apartment / villa in Spain, in the areas where the expats tend to live in Winter. They leave in summer and rents can be very reasonable. Try the Northern Costa Blanca, e.g. Moraira, Calpe, Javea, Denia.