Stupid questions about affording a holiday

[CookingApron]

I'll probably get some robust replies to my stupid questions, but I am ready. I need answers.

I am a primary school teacher. Husband works in middle management in an office. We have three teenage children. We do okay financially, but there's not much left over. The kids all do sports, which is expensive; we eat out a couple of times a year; and clothes are from charity shops mostly. Biggest outgoing is rent. Will never afford to buy a house. We honestly do okay. In fact, I think we're pretty lucky - e.g. the kids all have their own laptops for school, and we can add a couple of treats to the supermarket weekly shop.

I sat in a staff meeting recently and everyone was discussing recent holidays and holiday plans. We have a weekend camping most years, but have never been on a proper holiday - flights and hotels - because I can't see how we'd ever afford it. A lot of the other teachers often go to one particular place abroad and everyone was talking about how they always stay in the Hilton there because it's so great for the kids.

I scurried home and looked it up on their website and WOW it looks amazing. For the 5 of us to stay there it would be nearly £800 per night, and that's before flights, food, and everything else.

Is that really what people spend on a holiday? How are all my colleagues going their with their kids for a week every year? What am I missing?

If you compare Disney Paris for 4/5 days vs Disney World Florida for 14 days again Florida isn't much more.We looked at Paris for a week and reckoned it was going to be about £5k, for 4 of us. Between flights, accommodation and park tickets.

And if you price up Florida, properly with spending money and flights, you'd struggle to get it under £10k for 4 people. I don't know why people say Paris is nearly as much as Florida, it simply isn't.

Three teenagers mean you’ve effectively got 5 adults to pay for, and teaching limits you to being away in the most expensive times.

You might not be able to make it work if you rent, or if you live somewhere that people aren’t interested in visiting, but have you considered a house swap with a similar sized family? That way you save the money on accommodation.

Paros might be cheap if you are in the south and can drive but flights from the north are wild probably because not many airlines do it, BA / Air France

It is for us, we’re not in the UK though. And we don’t stay onsite because we want bigger accomodation. Or eat out everyday.

Florida is really expensive at the moment, food especially. 5 adults eating out will be $$$ (never forgetting the 20% tip on top!).

This sometimes the case, it is in my case but I do not share that information in real life. I doubt it is true for most people though?

Yeah we rarely eat at a sit down restaurant because of the tip. It’s ridiculous.

I think the Hilton thing is maybe based on points from a credit card. I know of people who use this.

Comparing ourselves to others is a path to unhappiness and envy. Just enjoy the break away from work and spending quality family time together, in whatever form that takes within your financial circumstances. Loads of money does not have to be spent in making lovely memories.

Hopefully you have had lots of good tips in terms of booking early and using self-catering accommodation. The tail end of August can also be a bit cheaper in France, I think?

However, a link to this thread should probably also be posted on any ‘Should we have a third baby on a moderate income?’ threads!

This is what we do, and will do next week. Or rather points from flying or other hotel visits. We have free flights for 3 people and half the hotel stay paid by points. And hopefully free upgrade of room.

Exactly this OP.

It’s not fewer children or that they spend less on their regular outgoings. It’s a high-earning spouse or inherited wealth. Simple as.

If you want to go abroad an option is eurocamp, you can drive there, the statics are reasonable, even in school holidays and you can self cater. You can also use tesco points for some ferries and you can use them for eurocamp bookings.

We’re off to eurocamp at the end of our summer holidays, our three bed in Croatia is £560 for seven nights, it has aircon etc. Camps in The Netherlands etc are closer and can be found from around £300 for the week.

You’re taking five adults, thats going to make both flights and hotels a lot more expensive. If they work, would they be willing to give you a certain amount of their wages each month to contribute towards a holiday?

Not just that - if someone regularly stays in Hilton hotels when away for work they have the Hilton Honors loyalty scheme. DP used to regularly be away two to three nights a week and would stay at Hiltons if in budget because the brand is reliable and the points are worth having. Once you build a certain number of points some of the hotels have exec lounges where you can work, get free drinks or even have breakfast away from the hustle and hustle of the main dining room. We stayed a week in the US in a Hilton property for free on his points and have had numerous nights and weekends away using them.

Don’t forget the lounges with free drinks and food, afternoon tea and breakfast they have in some hotels. 😃 That is when I don’t mind dh working away.

It's not you OP. NICE holidays for teens are expensive. I know the type of people you're talking about. The ones on their modest wage... how do they afford to live like that?! Im a pretty good bargain hunter and maths is maths. If you quiz them it's usually either 1) debt or 2) those who have luckier boomer middle class parents lean on them (inheritance or actual handouts or rental property etc).

@Wantitalltogoaway - to be fair, colleagues with similar careers may well just be benefitting from having less people in the household, all their bills being lower because of this and not paying out for expensive hobbies for their dcs.

the OP is feeding and clothing 3 teens. If she’s “just” spending an extra £50 a week on food compared to colleagues with less dcs she’s spending an extra £2,600 a year. They do expensive sports, perfectly possible she’s spending £3k or more a year on sports, then the holidays themselves will be more expensive with 5 adult prices.

even needing a bigger property with 3 not 1 or 2 dcs,life with 3 dcs is much more expensive.

Does not have to be true. One extra teenager is expensive. The little things count, like showers and food. Not to mention sports. Add those things together and you’d likely have a decent holiday, if not every year then every second year.

It’s not fewer children

Don't be ridiculous, of course family size has a huge impact. On top of the cost of an additional person attending the holiday (which is not insignificant, especially at teen age) you've got the additional costs of that person through the year including bills and accommodation. If a child costs a six figure sum to raise that sum would easily be diverted to luxury spending like holidays.

We paid off our car loan last year and have been saving it in an ISA since then. It is paying for our holiday this summer. Previously only been on holiday with the kids in the UK. We don't put holidays on credit cards though, I like to have saved it first. I'm sure plenty of people do though.

We've also done long weekend city breaks (around inset days) and next year we're hoping to seek some 'winter' sun in October half term (hoping it's cheaper than peak summer holiday season).

It's not "simple as" though, is it?

Children are expensive - if you choose to have three of them, that automatically means you have less disposable income than a family who chooses to only have one (or two).

You don't have to be spending massive amounts on non-essentials either - a new pair of shoes can easily be £50 - if you have three kids to buy for every September, that's £150 down, whereas the Jones' with one child have only had to spend £50.

And it's not just clothes - if you have a big family, you need a bigger car, a bigger house, a bigger dining table, more furniture, more beds (and bedding), more towels, more crockery...you need to spend more money on food, on meals out, on takeaways, on activities...it adds up so quickly and often on things you don't even notice because it's just essential day-to-day stuff that you can't avoid.

OP has three teens who all do expensive hobbies and who all have their own laptops - those are some major expenses right there. Then think of all the other expenses - allowances, mobile phones, clothes, uniforms, stationary, toiletries..all of a sudden you've spent several thousand a year with probably nothing to show for it.

Lots of people have super cheap mortgages ours is about 2.3% we manged to fix it for 5 years just when the rates started to go up.
So our monthly payments are are very low. We are not on great salary and we definitely wouldn't pay 800 a night or anything close to it.
I've always done it DIY holidays, booking flights as soon as they appear Ryan Air, finding our own accmd
I've never been able to afford a package and wouldn't want one unless extremely high end.
We also have a yha pass. I can't tolerate yha for much more than 2 nights however it's still getting away isn't it.

We save each month for holidays rolling over eg every month.
Each pay day every penny is assigned somewhere.

To be honest we get a loan! It sounds awful but our savings go towards starting back to school/ Christmas. To be fair we only started even going on holiday a few years ago (4 kids 2 adults)

@ricecrispiecakes I was going to say exactly that. We are a family of 5.

Everything is so much more. It isn't simply 1/5 more. We didn't fit in a family hotel room so would have to book an extra room.

This was why we would self-cater. Once DCs were teenagers we would need 3 bedrooms minimum so still not able to fit into the cheapest 2 bedroom but better than hotel cost.

The expenses are all year round with holidays as the expensive cherry on top.

Before anyone says 'well you chose to have 3 DCs'. Actually, we didn't. We have DC3 to prove that nothing is 100% reliable. Wouldn't hand her back though!

@GnomeDePlume and it's not just accommodation - so many attractions, tickets and offers are set up to accommodate a family of four too. If you have three children, the third often pays full price, or you don't qualify for a certain discount because there's only two adults and not three etc.