Stupid questions about affording a holiday

[CookingApron]

I'll probably get some robust replies to my stupid questions, but I am ready. I need answers.

I am a primary school teacher. Husband works in middle management in an office. We have three teenage children. We do okay financially, but there's not much left over. The kids all do sports, which is expensive; we eat out a couple of times a year; and clothes are from charity shops mostly. Biggest outgoing is rent. Will never afford to buy a house. We honestly do okay. In fact, I think we're pretty lucky - e.g. the kids all have their own laptops for school, and we can add a couple of treats to the supermarket weekly shop.

I sat in a staff meeting recently and everyone was discussing recent holidays and holiday plans. We have a weekend camping most years, but have never been on a proper holiday - flights and hotels - because I can't see how we'd ever afford it. A lot of the other teachers often go to one particular place abroad and everyone was talking about how they always stay in the Hilton there because it's so great for the kids.

I scurried home and looked it up on their website and WOW it looks amazing. For the 5 of us to stay there it would be nearly £800 per night, and that's before flights, food, and everything else.

Is that really what people spend on a holiday? How are all my colleagues going their with their kids for a week every year? What am I missing?

I think it does depend where you are - I’m a teacher and most of my colleagues don’t have “secret” extra money or high earning partners - in fact in my area we ARE the high-earning partners! Some people do exam marking etc but when we talk about holidays everyone seems to be doing the same sort of thing. I’m doing a Jet2 3* all-inclusive in the Canaries for a week which was about £2k for me and two kids and was really at the top of my budget! Lots of people doing that sort of thing, or waiting until October, or doing Eurocamp, Airbnb/Ryanair etc, or staying in a relative’s villa. I never ever hear people doing these £8/10000 holidays I see people saying they’re having here. Maybe the odd Disney trip. Some people do go away for the full six weeks but that would be camping/motorhome/staying with friends.

Deffo a 3 child thing. We have 3 and have never been on a package holiday.
We drive to mainland Europe and either get a static or Airbnb.
Flights are out for 5 of us. Although we did do it last year as a massive treat as I got a bonus and our 4 day trip to Athens cost £1500 in flights alone. Hence why we drive

Yup 😢 I’ve got epilepsy which shoots it way up (some places wanted over £700!!!) Plus DH has various other conditions and is waiting for results back from a test.

Oh no, sorry to hear that.

I really think over the next 10 years or so we are going to see less and less families with 3+ children, I believe I read the average is already down again to around 1.4 for a family. Prices are up, lifestyle expectations are up, it requires a lot of money to maintain a lifestyle with regular foreign holidays with 3 children. We are a six figure household and I would not deem us as being able to afford 3 children due to the lifestyle we want (which includes going abroad every year).

Home/ pet sitting?

How much per year do you spend on your DC’s sports?

Could you camp for a week?

There is something in-between a camping weekend and £800 per night.

How much is your rent?

The cost of raising a child is between £160-£190k, if you'd forgone the third child then that's enough to get on the housing ladder and go on holidays.

Holidays are expensive, especially in school holiday time, but kids are ridiculously expensive 😂

People have different circumstances.

Three teenagers must be expensive. No wonder you can't afford holidays. I am one of three and when we were all young holidays were often a few days in Wales or Norfolk, usually appended on to my dad's work trips.

We are comfortsble bjt not massively high earners (I am middle management in a public body and Mr Monkey works in retail) we had had 2 holidays this year - 7 days in the USA and 8 days in the South of France.

We afford it because we have kne child ( Mr Monkey's young adult son from a previous relationship, we have low costs - small mortgage and no car and I paid for our France trip with my work bonus.

We also have modest tastes on holiday. We usually stay in clean but basic hotels as we are out and about a lot (our hotel in France was 60 euros a night) and we enjoy lot of sight seeing, much of which is free or low cost (museums, historic sights, country walks, free cultural events etc...)

I think so too. We talked about it but decided what lifestyle we wanted, as we really liked to travel. It’s of course not that you would ever regret having a third though. Friends of ours with three always had to resort to staying at home because too expensive, or accomodation was only for four etc. Too expensive to eat out for five people, or to go on certain day trips. But it’s the choice they made. Where I live it would cost £75 for four just to go to the cinema without snacks, so even a simple thing like that cost a fortune..

I'm on 3.5k a month, 2 adults and 2 under 10, were going to Japan next month, going to cost around 7k in total but I save up all year and lower my costs elsewhere

Also you can get decent holiday packages of flight and accommodation to turkey, Spain etc for £250-£350 per person. Travel supermarket is good

Yes, it’s rent plus third child and children being teenagers as you can easily find a cheaper but nice apartment which will fit 2 adults plus 2 under 12s but with 3 teenagers you need something different and it’s more expensive.
In a way you are right most people don’t pay for Hilton but they still pay high enough prices. I think there are options out there but you need to do a lot of research and planning to cut costs as you have 5 people.

I don't think 3k for four days is cheap! Also where are you eating, £300 won't go anywhere in DLP.

We've got two weeks AI in Ibiza for 6.5k for reference.

For me it always works out cheaper if you get flights and arrange your own accommodation (but not the Hilton). Airbnb is good for “entire property” so you get a house/ apartment to yourself. Good for self catering.
Stay away from tourist traps and eat where the locals eat. The food is cheaper, better and you’re less likely to end up with food poisoning.
Go somewhere with a good exchange rate ( not euro)

For holiday packages, look out for free child places.

In your situation, likely the rent is the biggest issue.
Mortgage is always lower.

It certainly is expensive to take three teenagers on holiday. The travel industry seems more geared to the idea of two adults two children for starters.
A financial audit might help, but just enjoy the things you can do. It’s not the end of the world if you can’t afford much in the way of holidays. A few days out? Picnics and walks? Free entry Museums? Cheaper options for holidays as others have mentioned? Youth hostels?

I should add that MN is very helpful in terms of tips and advices so you might not get a Hilton holiday but still an enjoyable holiday.

Obviously being a teacher means you're completely tied to school holidays, even going a day earlier makes a big difference to flight costs.
We've gone straight to airport before now when DC finish on a half day.
Rarely do packages, that is very expensive with DC.
Since DC were little, we have booked flights then used VRBO or Airbnb.
Trick is to book flights early as possible, so September time for Easter or Whit and before Christmas for summer hols.
3 DC will make it expensive though, sorry.

I think some of it is about priorities all well (and the five people is undoubtedly more expensive).

I could probably afford 3k for a holiday but I find the thought of spending that much on one week stressful. I appreciate I'd probably have a lovely time but I find the pressure to have a lovely time too much and it overwhelms me (I'm clearly strange!)

I have a budget of 1k a year but I get a week (ISH, was 6 nights this year) in summer, mid week at Easter, week in October and usually something in August and a few long weekends each year. Camping, camping pods, static caravans, premier inns etc and all UK.

We are four so it's easier and we can get to some beautiful places easily so that helps. My kids are still primary (just) and live rurally so are easily impressed by the facilities of bigger places. I personally don't think they are missing out on holidays abroad at this stage of life and prioritise getting ahead with mortgage.

We love our little trips and like you, I wonder how people afford to continually put away hundreds every month to cover one week away.

Perhaps the lack of bonuses in the public sector is also a factor. Is that kind of one off money easier to treat yourself with than the slog of putting away £300 every month??

Three teens doing expensive extra-curriculars is £100s a month, I’m guessing. Plus your rent is probably a lot higher than a mortgage would be. It’s a bummer, for sure.

We used to research smaller french campsites that rent out their own mobile homes (for a fraction of the price of Eurocamp). We packed the car with food (particularly the kind of stuff that you only used a bit of, so not worth buying there and then throwing away, like condiments, oil etc) and mostly cooked for ourselves, with maybe one meal out. That was our summer for nearly two decades, but we were gradually able to take less food and eat out more often. Also teachers.

It really does depend on individual circumstances. I'm a teacher in my mid twenties and manage to have nice holidays abroad due to how much my husband earns and having a low mortgage (we had a lot of family help with buying our first home) everyone has different outgoings, it all depends on what these are and how much they are.

Would you not be able to aim for something like what you are doing now but longer than a weekend? Or camping in France instead of the UK? (Driving rather than flying to save costs)? Or a short city break to somewhere relatively cheap like Prague? I just put in the 16-19th Aug and you could get flights and a private 5 bed room in a hostel for under £700. If you saved up to do that next year it’s not much to put away a month.

Pre covid 14 nights in Florida was similar to 14 nights in the med.
If you compare Disney Paris for 4/5 days vs Disney World Florida for 14 days again Florida isn't much more.

We looked at Paris for a week and reckoned it was going to be about £5k, for 4 of us. Between flights, accommodation and park tickets.

Pre covid 14 nights in Florida was similar to 14 nights in the med.
If you compare Disney Paris for 4/5 days vs Disney World Florida for 14 days again Florida isn't much more.

I didn’t and don’t find this to be the case.