Autistic women assemble! #4

[RainbowZebraWarrior]

This is a thread for autistic women to connect, chat, vent, laugh, share and seek advice and solidarity (small talk and word mincing not required). 😊

Any autistic women newly finding the thread are very welcome to join us (even if awaiting diagnosis) but we'd be grateful if others could leave us alone please…

Previous threads:

Thread 3:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4979068-autistic-women-assemble-3?reply=136877684

Thread 2:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4865805-autistic-women-assemble-2

Thread 1:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4777843-autistic-women-assemble

Checking in.

Thanks for new thread.
I used the momentum of my annoyance about the tribunal as impetus to actually do something about Right to Choose for my Autism/ADHD assessment, so that's in motion now.
Hope everyone else is having an ok day, enjoying what passes for summer.

Just seen this thread pop up and the timing is perfect. Autism runs in my family, have two siblings, one diagnosed, the other on a pathway to diagnosis. I have been wondering myself if I should take steps to find out more if I am this way too. From the outside looking in, I generally cope with life well, but I definitely have some characteristics that I’m realising now aren’t the “norm”, I have done some some of the online screening tests which all suggest I could be on the spectrum. I think what I am asking is, is it worth pursuing a diagnosis? I’m thinking if so, it might give me a better understanding of myself and provide me with strategies to manage my life better.

Just found this thread, I'm looking into a diagnosis. Knew nothing about Autism until Dd was diagnosed a few years ago and I realised I was likely Autistic too.

The doctors who assessed her said it sounded likely I was also Autistic and to speak to my Gp about being referred for an assessment. Unfortunately after almost a year of thinking I was on the pathway after this, the doctors had lost my referral 😩

The waiting time is probably years? I'm considering using my savings to pay for a private diagnosis, I have enough now but feel guilty like I should be saved it for us as a family instead.

I've heard Right to choose is less of a waiting time?

Ooohh helllllooo! Not sure if I ever saw the previous threads. I was diagnosed fairly recently in my mid 50s.

I seem to be having a big issue with friends these days . People who I think are friends dump me. Anyone else?

Thank you for the new thread 🙂

Hi to old friends checking in and new ones joining.

One thing I'd say early on for those considering diagnosis; yes it's worth it. Yes, it will help you understand your life, and yes, a lot of us have been diagnosed later in life. Especially after DC have been on the pathway.

That's so disappointing for you after they lost the referral. A similar thing happened to me. I was lucky and asked to be referred to Psychiatry UK via RTC and their wait times then were 4 weeks. That was 2 years ago. It's changed a bit since then, unfortunately.

I've done a quick search and the timescales for some are now very long. Psychiatry UK won't even commit to a timescale any more.

Assuming you're in England, there's always a lot of new providers coming on board with Right to Choose, and the wait times shift a lot, so it's worth searching around.

Here's one that may be woth looking at, although they still don't state a timescale. Problem shared do Autism and ADHD assessments.

https://www.problemshared.net/resources/articles/what-care-does-problemshared-provide-through-right-to-choose

I've always found it a nightmare for Autism assessment providers, as you have to Google and go through every one that comes up.

For anyone thinking of ADHD assessment, ADHD uk keep a list of current providers and an estimation of wait times which is really helpful. (They also state which ones deal with titration)

https://adhduk.co.uk/right-to-choose/

Hi dizzy. Friends is an issue that comes up a lot in our chats, so you definitely aren't alone.

Hello and welcome to everyone who hasn't posted on these threads before.

Anyone wondering about getting a diagnosis later in life should absolutely go for it.

I was in my 60s when diagnosed, and it has helped me to make sense of my life.

It's definitely worth it.

I'm so glad to see this thread.

I'm not diagnosed, I spoke to a doctor about... over a year ago who said "oh yes you definitely need an assessment blah blah" I've got an appointment with my local mental health team next week as I'd heard nothing and was going to ask to be referred to right to choose.

I just feel in a bit of a tizzy with it all and I don't really know what I'm doing. I've got my big list of "concerns" but I haven't had the best experiences with the mental health people in the past so I'm worried I'll just get brushed off by them again.

You sound like you're in the same boat as Ivyy.

I'd definitely recommend going down the RTC path if you can. I've used it three times now (ASD, ADHD and now DDs ADHD assesment)

If you've got things written down, then that's great. I wrote a book (literally) about my life going back as young as I could remember.

I also split things up into categories like Sensory issues, Social issues, Communication, Obsessive Interests etc.

Checking in. I struggle to keep up with these threads and don't contribute much but enjoy reading.

Good to see you back.

Thank you @RainbowZebraWarrior for the new thread 🤗

I hope everyone is well 😀

@Justploddingonandon you are not alone, I struggle to keep up too. I don't use my phone for anything other than calls and texts (I hate mobile phones in general), and I just read MN on my laptop when I have some free time.

Hi I’d like to join. I was diagnosed earlier this year after I starting working for the first time in years, and my mental health massively declined. It’s been a huge struggle and I’m still trying to cling on to my job but I’m no longer able to cook, organise life admin, or engage much with the family so I don’t think it’s sustainable. I don’t know any other autistic women so would be nice to connect.

Hello @Inmyonesie and welcome.

Hi I'd like to join please, aged 60. I might not post much, but I would like to lurk.

Thanks Rainbow!

Sorry I've been AWOL again. I amsure you can guess why. 😡😣😓😤

Suddenly occurred to me the thread must be running out of space so came on to do it but you've sorted it already so thanks! ☺️

Hello darling! Big hugs.

Hey Shell. Thank you. I need them!!

How are things with you?

You're very welcome here. 😁

Fine. DS2 has settled really well into the village.
We've adopted another cat.
We're going on holiday next week.
Here are both cats, when they met for the first time. The white one is Linney, who we've had for a few years, and the adopted tabby is Gizmo.

I remember Linney! Gizmo, amazing name! Love it. Are they getting on?

Where are you going on holiday? I hope you have better luck with it than your holiday last year!!!!!

Great to hear DS2 has settled in. I hope life is a lot calmer and less stressful for you both now. He's so luckyyto have you to help him make this fresh start.

We are going on hols in just over a week too. So much to do before then (finish work, my daughter's birthday!) but I cannot wait. Really splashed out because we all so desperately need a break after the year we've had.

We've spent quite a bit too, this year. I hope we get good weather. We've rented a cottage on the beach, on the far north east coast of Scotland.

Are the cats getting on? Yes, they are now. There were some minor teething troubles but they're okay now.
Here they are last week.