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Farting etiquette

129 replies

ByLoudSeal · 15/07/2024 19:11

I realise this is kind of funny.
I am very sensitive to smells. My house is a very small bungalow and any bad smell, or even cooking smells goes throughout the house and seems to stay there unless I air the place out. I had a guest on Thursday for over an hour, and there was suddenly a smell and it wasn’t me so it was them. I didn’t say anything and I didn’t make a point of going to open the window because I didn’t want to embarrass them but the smell really bothered me. I know it can be painful to hold one in sometimes but I wish they had excused themselves rather than just try to silently let one go. It felt disrespectful to do that next to me in my house. How do I address this with them? We are due to see each other again next week. Do I not say anything, or do I just try and insist we sit outside? What if it rains? What can I do

OP posts:
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Pocketfullofdogtreats · 15/07/2024 22:30

It's not polite to mention it, but I would make sure she didn't sit on the sofa. The smell going into the upholstery would bother me more than it wafting about. Can you both stand up all the time she's there?

SauronsArsehole · 15/07/2024 22:32

I suggest you wear a full hazmat suit. To prepare for the next assault of your nose.

or you could opt for learning how to set alight to your own farts so you can show your guest the Correct procedure for burning off waste gases in a timely fashion.

LK2610 · 15/07/2024 22:32

YaWeeFurryBastard · 15/07/2024 19:18

How do I address this with them?

Send a text beforehand “Hi Jane, sorry to bring this up but I noticed a smell last time you came round, so can I please ask, if you need to fart could you excuse yourself to the bathroom before you do so?”

Less awkward that way and will ensure you never have to see them again and deal with their arse biscuits.

This made me laugh out loud 🤣🤣🤣 (hope you’re doing okay ☺️)

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

whoscoatsthatjacket2012 · 15/07/2024 22:33

I'm crying here. DH has left the room because I'm howling.
Funniest thread in ages

JohnofWessex · 15/07/2024 22:34

YaWeeFurryBastard · 15/07/2024 19:14

This. Light a candle if you really can’t bear it.

If its that bad you may blow the house up

Windchiming · 15/07/2024 22:34

Footbull · 15/07/2024 19:27

If you choose to say something to them please livestream it.

That's a great idea.

XenoBitch · 15/07/2024 22:35

My mum has this problem with my dad. She bought a posh Rituals room spray to cover up the smell of his arse... but now she just associates their lovely scents with my dad's anus, and it has ruined Rituals for her 😅

JC03745 · 15/07/2024 22:39

@SauronsArsehole or you could opt for learning how to set alight to your own farts so you can show your guest the Correct procedure for burning off waste gases in a timely fashion.

Like this?

Farting etiquette
wastingtimeonhere · 15/07/2024 22:41

How old is your friend? I've discovered that as I've got menopausal the exhaust system isn't reliable, I would prefer to go to the loo myself rather than let it go, but I often get caught out..purely involuntary.. mortifying at my exercise classes 😳

5475878237NC · 15/07/2024 22:43

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

This post triggered the most awful coughing fit from laughing too hard.

XenoBitch · 15/07/2024 22:48

5475878237NC · 15/07/2024 22:43

This post triggered the most awful coughing fit from laughing too hard.

I think a thread of come backs to farts would be amazing.

"A bit less choke next time"
"That's going to itch when it dries"
"Introducing the new single from Nickelback"

Seas164 · 15/07/2024 22:48

wastingtimeonhere · 15/07/2024 22:41

How old is your friend? I've discovered that as I've got menopausal the exhaust system isn't reliable, I would prefer to go to the loo myself rather than let it go, but I often get caught out..purely involuntary.. mortifying at my exercise classes 😳

I've literally just wet my pants laughing at this

AyrshireTryer · 15/07/2024 22:49

If your bum is feeling sore,
lift your legs and let it roar.

Seas164 · 15/07/2024 22:49

@XenoBitch

A bit less choke next time, I'm creased in half 🤣

Ohnobackagain · 15/07/2024 22:52

YaWeeFurryBastard · 15/07/2024 19:14

This. Light a candle if you really can’t bear it.

@YaWeeFurryBastard this cracked me up because my first thought was ‘christ don’t light a match, risk of explosion’ 😂

5475878237NC · 15/07/2024 22:53

Less choke😂

I can't tell if my eyes are watering from laughing or from the resonance of OP's traumatic experience.

ItsTheGAGGGGGGGG · 15/07/2024 22:57

Clueless2024 · 15/07/2024 19:16

This is what my mother would do

What happens if it slips out on the way to the toilet?! What then!

Shiningout · 15/07/2024 22:57

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 15/07/2024 22:30

It's not polite to mention it, but I would make sure she didn't sit on the sofa. The smell going into the upholstery would bother me more than it wafting about. Can you both stand up all the time she's there?

These comments are too much 😂😂😂 can you both stand up the whole time 😂😂😂😂 ah I've had a shit day (no pun intended) so thanks for starting the thread op

ItsTheGAGGGGGGGG · 15/07/2024 22:58

Footbull · 15/07/2024 19:27

If you choose to say something to them please livestream it.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

RueTroussevache · 15/07/2024 23:04

XenoBitch · 15/07/2024 22:48

I think a thread of come backs to farts would be amazing.

"A bit less choke next time"
"That's going to itch when it dries"
"Introducing the new single from Nickelback"

'More tea, vicar?'
'Keep talking, sir, we'll find you'

FangsForTheMemory · 15/07/2024 23:11

Ask them to light it so you can join in the fun?

FangsForTheMemory · 15/07/2024 23:14

whoscoatsthatjacket2012 · 15/07/2024 22:33

I'm crying here. DH has left the room because I'm howling.
Funniest thread in ages

ACTUALLY, he’s gone to let one loose.

01F · 15/07/2024 23:20

Hand these out.

amzn.eu/d/0aFTtcJN

Ineverlose · 15/07/2024 23:21

I think a livestream of the conversation is the only option here @Footbull

Screamingabdabz · 15/07/2024 23:21

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

🤣🤣🤣 I pictured G Plan too!