Things I never thought I would find sexy in a partner....

[Udonoodles4Tea]

Context: I have a new(ish) fella after 16 years of being with a total and utter twat.
I am finding some of the things that he does so so sexy.....

• he can pack shopping properly, no misshapen bread at the bottom of the bag, no squashed sausages, refrigerated stuff all in one bag together and food separated from cleaning products.
• he really knows how to do laundry - I am talking colour sorting, lovely scented detergents, looking at the care labels...Nice. Fluffy. Towels.

I mean, there are loads more things but I am a little too excited to mention them right now... Me in my 20s would be utterly confused, but in my 40s I honestly cannot get enough of the man.

I can't help but wonder if other MN Posters have had a similar shift in their tastes over the last 20 years?

«I realise some of these are just normal things, my ex did none of them.»

Yep to the normal things in a calm normal life. It is lovely.

Well my husband does zero of these.

The other day we were going out.

I opened the front door and put the house key in the lock.

I stood there waiting for him to walk out of the house so I could lock it. He came out and didn't even close the door behind him.

I closed it then locked it. I felt like his mum.

Another time I put the key in the door then sat in the car waiting for him.

He did shut the door this time.

When he noticed my key in the door. He gave me a look. Shouted something to me. Took my key out of the door, threw it inside and just shut the door.

He's a fucking idiot that has never owned a house key at 42.

Yes absolutely! My DS(20) was dumped recently by a girl. She said he was too nice and it gave her the ick when he opened doors for her etc. My DS is definitely a young 🐻 in the making. I think his ex may come to regret that decision 🤔

I love this thread. I recently left a 20 year long relationship and definitely not ready for a new one, and not too hopeful that I could find one of these handsome unicorns who do diy happily, have bottles of water and sunscreen in the car and take bin bags out of your hands.

Where do you find these sexy beasts?

And also, what’s with the competent reversing? I am a competent reverser myself, is it why I don’t get the goosebumps?

I thought I was the only one who loved a hairy back🤣

Smoking. I know !!! But I find it so attractive

@outingsochanged
When he noticed my key in the door. He gave me a look. Shouted something to me. Took my key out of the door, threw it inside and just shut the door.
He's a fucking idiot that has never owned a house key at 42

I'm mystified, what happens if he's the only person at home and goes out? does he leave the door unlocked? Don't think I could tolerate this level of moronic behaviour.

I've definitely chosen the bear 🐻@TheNuthatch I think my BF was like your son 20 years ago - he seems to have been rejected or "friend zoned" by several women because he is too nice and quite frankly not just interested in bending them over...I like to think that he has spent those 20 years honing his skills and becoming the considerate competent human that he is today.
@CatMumSlave I don't think it is all an act - it seems deeply ingrained. He never expects any praise, seems utterly baffled when I am bowled over by his general competence and he never asks for anything in return.
Also, he isn't perfect by any stretch! I am quite jealous hearing about all of these DPs who have excellent beard management skills - mine can't quite trim his, ends up going too far and then shaving it off 😱It has taken months for me to get him to visit an actual barber and now he is going far less frequently than I would like. The thing is, this is less important to me than the stuff he does right. So neither of us are perfect humans but so far we are a pretty perfect match.

I love this thread. My DH is definitely one of these 🐻 men and does most of the thing's already mentioned. It's the little things for me, like giving his coat to me or one of the kids if we are cold without even thinking about it. He comes home with stuff we need just as I've realised we need it. He starts work very early, but on the rare occasions he has a day off during the week he still gets up and makes me coffee and toast and helps with the kids before I go to work.
He does all these things because he likes to and doesn't expect anything in return. He is just a truly lovely man and I find that incredibly sexy.

You don’t find them. You can’t go looking for them. They just magically show up when you have given up hope and decide that only the best will do if you’re ever going to be bothered again 🧐😉
All of a sudden he’s there with a well organised car being all normal and Nice and silly.

This is a good demo in how one woman's sexy is another's ick. Like, I would feel so repulsed by a hairy back, if he could cook and sew I would feel so redundant or in competition with him, I would much rather he left the feminine hobbies like baking and crafting to me. A little victory dance is so cringe to me. Placing shopping logically so bread isn't squashed is such common sense. I don't like seeing men shave as i dread seeing blood and find the mess so unsexy. my husband can reverse and has veiny forearms, it doesn't turn me on.

What is unexpectedly sexy to me is seeing a man garden or carry heavy things like they weighed nothing but not like weights in the gym, i mean in everyday life. When he bites a sandwich it's not little girly bites but takes big manly bites and maybe does a little moan when the food tastes good he looks like he is in heaven. When he uses his body to sheild me from any danger. When he eats my leftovers. I can't tell you how much of a turn off it is when a man is watching his weight or has a tiny appetite. It's sexy to me when he doesn't crack his neck to check out attractive women and remains focused on the person he is talking to. When he is equally kind to all women not just the hot fuckable ones.🤨🙄

When he does diy but he is clean and tidies up as he goes and his diy projects are quickly finished without nagging or reminding. Very efficient and competent basically. When he grabs my feet to put them on his lap and massage them without me asking he just instinctively does it. When he does good deeds discreetly when no1 is watching. I hate when a guy performs and wants endless compliments and praise for something he should have done a month ago.

If you decide that you want one I am sure that you will find one duende! For now, enjoy your freedom x

I am a very competent reverser, I can pack my own shopping and I can definitely do the laundry. In fact, I think I can do everything I have mentioned just as well as he can. That is just the point - I have this deep rooted appreciation that I can trust him to do things without worrying / compromising. Better still, I don't even have to ask him to do them in the first place 😀
My ex "let" me do everything because I am competent, in the end I was run ragged and then the ex complained that I wasn't dedicating enough time to them (yes, I was quite busy with my job, our child, running the house, being the driver, caring for ex's elderly relative etc etc etc) and never wanted to have sex (with a completely useless toddler of a "partner").
Guess what - I definitely want to have sex with the new chap ALL THE TIME. He happens to be good at that too 😉

Woman married to a woman here. My wife is so bloody practical but also romantic. A few the things she does that give me the fanny flutters:

opens the car door for me, every time.

is extremely competent towing a trailer, I love watching her do the reversing thing with her hand on the back of my headrest.

she is excellent at cooking but I especially love when she makes really yummy basic things, like something delicious with eggs or potato for a quick dinner.

she writes me little notes from time to time in my lunchbox.

she's excellent at hemming trousers.

she can whip up any kind of craft / DIY project seemingly effortlessly. I'm not at all manual/practical so I find this very impressive.

I came home one day to find her crowbarring out our shower, the next day she had installed a lovely new one. She just YouTubed how to install a whole new bathroom and got on with it.

always making up silly games to play with DC.

She's very physically strong and I really enjoy watching her load the car boot up, even I feel like a bit of a perv

she brings me a perfect cup of tea every single morning

Before we met I would have said my type was slim and quite feminine. But DW is not at all slim and quite butch, and I find her incredibly sexy. If she walks around in something basic like boxer-shape underwear and a vest I turn to total jelly.

Omg 🤤

So does mine. And all the bedding. He does it because I refuse to. And I find it a massive turn off.

I don't even iron bedding lol

I’ll take him 😂

@Tolip nor do I but I’m happy to sleep in crease free sheets if someone else does!! We don’t live together so he has to suffer crinkles at mine ;)

@Udonoodles4Tea presume you missed out ‘squash’ and is that a euphemism? 🤣🤣🤣

@Udonoodles4Tea

My ex "let" me do everything because I am competent, in the end I was run ragged and then the ex complained that I wasn't dedicating enough time to them (yes, I was quite busy with my job, our child, running the house, being the driver, caring for ex's elderly relative etc etc etc) and never wanted to have sex (with a completely useless toddler of a "partner")

You have just described my LTR to a tee. Were you there? 😫

"Bruise" actually 😂 I couldn't work out how to edit my post!
Also.....it wasn't supposed to be a euphemism but now I see that it totally was!

My dp actually thinks to do household chores before being asked, it's a revelation! He also cares about what I think and want to do including sitting watching "girl" programmes with me (even if he's secretly looking at flight radar)

I've latterly come to admire skill and prowess phoar. It also matters to me that he is also perfectly happy let me be in charge / drive

Never thought I'd find someone able to do both and even thinking about it makes me go weak at the knees.

In that case a massive congratulations to you for LTB and please please enjoy every moment of your new life whether you choose to do that alone or with a new DP.
You're probably the same as me, after the shit that I have put up with I wouldn't be interested in starting a relationship with anyone who didn't make the grade. I have learned the hard way that it is much much better to be alone than with the wrong person and I have walked away from 16 years of being controlled, with hardly a penny to my name once so I know can walk away from anything if it isn't working for me.

Hurrah for the girly telly watching geeky plane spotter that is your DP 😁 God bless him and all who fly in near him!