Things I never thought I would find sexy in a partner....

[Udonoodles4Tea]

Context: I have a new(ish) fella after 16 years of being with a total and utter twat.
I am finding some of the things that he does so so sexy.....

• he can pack shopping properly, no misshapen bread at the bottom of the bag, no squashed sausages, refrigerated stuff all in one bag together and food separated from cleaning products.
• he really knows how to do laundry - I am talking colour sorting, lovely scented detergents, looking at the care labels...Nice. Fluffy. Towels.

I mean, there are loads more things but I am a little too excited to mention them right now... Me in my 20s would be utterly confused, but in my 40s I honestly cannot get enough of the man.

I can't help but wonder if other MN Posters have had a similar shift in their tastes over the last 20 years?

With my ex I found myself morphing into the mum role and I was in charge of everything. Was like having a toddler trailing after me 🤦🏻‍♀️

For me just basic competency in daily life.

I’ve only ever dated men that turned out to be total mummy’s boys and incapable of basic life skills. And wanted me to be their stand in mummy.

I tried dating again recently (last year) and he was lovely. But I got the ick so fast when I realised he couldn’t ever open his car because he’d misplaced his keys, couldn’t remember where he parked so we’d traipse up and down looking for it, he was late often, forgot his glasses, left wallets in the car, didn’t reading booking conditions so we’d travel somewhere and not be able to do the date etc etc.

So a man that keeps a clean home, knows how to wash clothes correctly, pack groceries, be on time, do DIY and have good hygiene is such a turn on. And honestly I find that very sad for me, because everyone should be basically competent at adult life!

He did me a professional-standard full gel pedicure (with NAIL ART ON THE BIG TOE!!) because I can’t do it comfortably anymore. If I wasn’t already pregnant with his child, I would be soon

I found it very attractive that dh installed the shower, and toilet, and new belt in the tumble dryer. He isn't a plumber, and has self taught himself! I must admit I didn't have high hopes when this started, but he did it, I was impressed!

I find him playing xbox very unattractive, but there is a balance. I also love how he will remember what I like, he knows me better than I know myself at times.

Aaw I love this! 🐻

Takes Notes

My DH is the same. All sorts of useful stuff in the car. Also packs the trailer really well with extra safety straps. 😉
He’s also brilliant at dusting, and DIY, and doing the dishwasher, In fact, that he is better at domestic chores than me is hugely attractive!

Turning up on time, without fail, every single time.
Helping to help you care for one or both of your parents.
Never having to wonder what they are doing when they are away from you, so that trust issues never enter your mind.
Knowing that they will take you for a nice dinner, but also to chemo and numerous hospital appointments.
And while all of the above is happening, making you laugh.
As a post script, three decades ago it would have been: tall, handsome, Armani suit, nice car, lunatic.

What a brilliant thread.

Yep, being kind to animals, great at DIY, unloading my haphazard dishwasher and repacking it neatly and beautifully. Oh and being lovely and enthusiastic with my family when I know he'd rather be a million miles away.

So lovely to read these comments to give us some faith that there are plenty of decent blokes out there.

This really has turned out to be a lovely thread - thank you all for sharing ☺️
Everything from keeping the house warm, to packing a trailer with extra safety straps and the bigger stuff like chemo appointments and caring for elderly parents. Do these DPs have any idea how sexy they are?!
Hats off to the man who provided a professional standard pedicure complete with nail art though, he deserves a round of applause!
To think I name changed for this thread because I thought having a boyfriend who can pack shopping would be outing because he is such a rare find 😂

I don't want to bring things down but in my case the ex was awful - controlling, mentally and physically abusive, entitled, completely incompetent, sulky....the works. After we split up I waited a few months and dipped my toe into online dating. Unfortunately, on the first date I had I was raped.
So, yes I am very happy to have met someone who is kind and gentle and competent in life! Someone who cares about the same little things as me and always tries his best. Someone hairy and like a big kind hearted bear 🐻 I feel safe, like I can trust him with anything, he makes my bad days better, my problems easier and not harder and he treats me like a partner in life, not a mother.

@Topoftheflops being confident and masterful at his work is definitely another hot string to the bow!

@kshaw oh I hear you! My ex once shoved me out of the front door, armed with a walking stick inorder to confront a burglar 👀 Thankfully the burglar turned out to be a badger but this was a definite nail in the coffin for our marriage

This sounds corny as I am mid 40s, but a few weeks ago I was on a bus and a young man got on, maybe early 20s. He had another man with him who was in a wheelchair and seemed to have some fairly profound intellectual disabilities. I am guessing they were brothers. He talked to the man the whole journey, making silly jokes and gently teasing him, making him laugh all the time. The other man made what seemed like noises to me but he understood every word and spoke with such respect and gentleness. I actually had to stop myself welling up. I wanted to be 25 years younger and fall in love with him.

@Udonoodles4Tea this is a wonderful thread.
Like you my first relationships were awful; the father of my children particularly so.

I’m so chuffed to have found this lovely, caring, KIND man who is ever so sexy to boot. We’ve been together 10 years and I still love the way he’ll make breakfast in the weekends with all the things he knows I like. After having tidied the counter tops just so. Swoon.

My DP is a fantastic cook. Watching him casually sharpen his knife with a steel, swishing it around like a pro then using it to perfectly chop an onion is so hot.

I didn't even get the privilege of a walking stick. Just my council estate upbringing arming me well 🤣
But ooof when new man did that, definitely stirred something!

Oh wow, thank you for sharing. and I’m sorry for your previous experiences 💐

Yes the baking, sewing, hairy ex was emotionally abusive and sulky too. So even though he gave me some of the best experiences, I did not feel safe or supported.

Can I ask how you met your current DP? And how long after the ex?

DH is great at DIY and general fixing stuff (electrics, plumbing, car mechanics). I find it very sexy - plus it is bloody useful!

Oh yes and every 2 weeks he waxes my moustache and still fancies me - true romance

My dh runs large events and when I see him with his radio earpiece in, making really hard decisions and communicating them to his team, I really fancy him 😍

Ok, so do any of these wonderful men have single brothers, cousins, mates, maybe even Dads???

50-65???

Asking for a friend.

I love seeing my DH speak at academic conferences. I would throw my knickers at him given half the chance

He’s writing a novel and he has read the first 2 sections out loud to me in bed with wine. Swoon. You can guess how those readings end.

He won’t tell me how the story ends and is completely impervious to any begging and I even find that teasing is HOT. It’s literary foreplay and I’m gagging for it

When he role plays with my preschooler, and puts on the appropriate accent for the game, I could swoon. His farmer voice combined with the pure innonence of a burly man herding imaginary sheep is🔥

Oh god, that's exactly it! Not a man baby or someone who has to harp on about how wonderful he is at x while being shit at it (DIY/cooking etc - exH I am looking at you). DP is a competent adult. It's very sexy.

And he doesn't judge me for being less than competent 🙄He's a much better other half that I am 😂

Yes! to the hand on thigh when driving, and hand holding and reversing and basic aduling.
for me its also watching him cook. He has the sexiest hands/forearms ive ever seen and seeing him in action in the kitchen with a sharp knife or at the stove makes me swoooon. He is an incredible cook. And he cleans up after himself, and washes up.
He’s excellent at fixing things and what it does to me when I see that man take charge and make something work again…
watching how he takes care of his family. He’s so considerate and loving.
He can also be impatient and grumpy..but he’s the best man I've ever known.