Things I never thought I would find sexy in a partner....

[Udonoodles4Tea]

Context: I have a new(ish) fella after 16 years of being with a total and utter twat.
I am finding some of the things that he does so so sexy.....

• he can pack shopping properly, no misshapen bread at the bottom of the bag, no squashed sausages, refrigerated stuff all in one bag together and food separated from cleaning products.
• he really knows how to do laundry - I am talking colour sorting, lovely scented detergents, looking at the care labels...Nice. Fluffy. Towels.

I mean, there are loads more things but I am a little too excited to mention them right now... Me in my 20s would be utterly confused, but in my 40s I honestly cannot get enough of the man.

I can't help but wonder if other MN Posters have had a similar shift in their tastes over the last 20 years?

Newish BF:

• hangs out his laundry properly, spaced out enough so it doesn't have a musty smell
• wants me to walk on the inside of the path away from the road, and asks first whether I would think he was being patronising.
• listens to me and remembers what I say
• Ignores his phone to pay attention to me, not the other way around
• offers (and actually follows through) to help me with my DIY and gardening - unlike Ex who would say "ok, let me know when you're done"

He has no idea how these things contribute to how much I fancy him!

My partner took over running the house when I was pregnant, I had hyperemisis and he was unbelievably supportive. I then had a section and I don’t know how I would have managed without him, he put my compression socks on every day for 10 days for me and brought me water to have my painkillers with.

He is such a good man and we’re so lucky to have him, seeing him become a dad has made me love him even more. Who knew a man being able to get the baby to sleep would be a turn on 🙈😂

Some very sexy men in this thread! OP your partner sounds amazing.

I found the fact my ex was an active and engaged father really sexy at first because my kids dad was an abusive lazy arshole. Unfortunately it turned out to be an act and while not abusive he was a lazy misogynistic arshole who stepped back from housework and childcare as soon as he got me pregnant 😔

@SinkingFeelingSoph thank you 🙏

Everything happened within a really short space of time, I met my DP online at around the same time as the other bloke. After what happened I was only really looking to chat to someone and not wanting to meet up etc. but after a few weeks of staying up and talking on the phone for six hours a night I felt ready! Everything he planned about our first date had my safety in mind, he was considerate and kind and so lovely. We shared the most amazing kiss at the end of the night (I took myself by surprise) and when we got home we still talked on the phone for hours about how well the evening had gone 😂
I'm sure people who don't know me will judge and say not enough time passed between relationships etc. and I agree that what I have ended up with here is far from the couple of casual dates a month that I thought I wanted. The thing is we make each other happy and we trust each other completely, so why wouldn't I go for it?!

@JulieAdams the dirty back clumps might be an exclusive thing to you but I am so happy to hear that you are happy 😁

@AmelieTaylor can I introduce you to @DadJoke ? I believe he's quietly taking notes....

My day is off to an early start but I am loving starting it reading about your wet shaving, tash waxing, novel writing, event organising, knife sharpening, household running, genuinely competent men 😁 Even Terry the tennis pro's back cleaning faux pas has brought a big smile to my face.

My DP loves planning ahead and loves Christmas as much as I do. Last night he sent a message about various Christmas markets and noting that he would need to stock up on extra gingerbread scented candles this year so we had enough for both of our homes 😂 I understand that some of you will get the ick from this, but I put on my Christmas pyjamas and poured myself a nice glass of baileys!

Sorry to derail the thread ... which I'm loving by the way

But as a very single woman I'm now worried I have clumps of back dirt I may not know about !!!

Is this why I cannot find my Prince of reversing , bin emptying holiday planner ?

Am I actually just a minger ?

I may have to strip off at work and get my colleagues to check

Also just asking for a friend if any of these wonderful men have a brother/ dad / cousin around 55-62? 🤗

So sorry for the awful experience OP and for those of you who've lost your soulmate

@Soditsally I might have just ordered a back cleaning brush thingy on prime....

You lot are describing my DH. After being married to an incompetent knobhead, my current DH is a big hairy, sexy adult. And I am HERE for it.

Reversing, yes please. So sexy. In fact, good driving in general does it for me more than I expected. Hand on the thigh while he drives is such a turn on.

He sorts the insurance, pet insurance, car insurance, I don't have to think about it.

He rings his 87 year old nan twice a week, she can't hear him and just talks over him. She loves it and it properly makes me love him more that he wouldn't consider not ringing.

He has taken on my DD(12), he loves her so much but is never intrusive or goes overboard. He plays silly games with her and I love hearing them laugh together.

He listens to me and changes things, even tiny things. He's not to egotistical that he can't admit when he's wrong,

Deals with the bins, without being asked. Always knows which bin day it is.

I realise some of these are just normal things, my ex did none of them.

What a fabulous thread to wake up. Thinking today I shall role model female equivalent - particularly doing things well not for ego but for self respect.

This is a brilliant thread. Would probably be incomprehensible to the younger versions of ourselves but utterly relatable when we are a few decades into adulting. I call these men " slow burn husbands" and thankfully I've got one. SBHs don't show up with devilish and dangerous charm but are the ones who will quietly get on with supporting the most important people in their lives.
Our children say " dad understood the assignment " as he works hard and makes sure that their needs financial and emotional are met. He's a great cook and DIYer and has a bone dry sense of humour and makes me laugh every day no mean feat after 30 yrs together. He has always hated the Tories (!) and champions the underdog. He had a fatherless childhood 😭 but has risen to the occasion spectacularly.
Some of my friends were thrown when we got together and told me he was boring but they love him now. He has life long friends who are intensely loyal to him. He is in 2 words decent and funny. And that's what I mean by slow burn. Their qualities are made to be appreciated over time.
Positive masculinity deserves much more recognition! It's out there and I'm here for it

We both have young adult children so for me it’s hearing him say to his kids “don’t forget to phone the doctors, you’ll need to ring at 8am” or “text me when you’re home, it’ll save me calling you to check you’re safe”. I think it’s the showing he cares and guiding them to independence as well as proving we have the same values.

DH stands back to let me walk through a door first and then follows me in with his hand on the small of my back. I just love it.

During Covid my hairdresser delivered hair dye kit to house. Husband read instructions diligently and settled me down in chair to ask where I'd been on my holidays lately. He disappeared off and returned with his cyclists band with light on front round his head so he could see perfectly to apply the dye

We're both a bit worn down, stressed and sad given recent family events. I've been feeling disconnected so it's good to remember the nice things

I'm glad that this thread has helped you to remember some of the better points about your DP - sometimes life gets us all down and I hope things improve for you both soon x

My dh did the washing for ME while I was away with our kids leaving him in peace for 5 days.

I'd washed their White Fox Hoodies on a 15 minute cold wash the night before we went.

I only noticed I'd left it at that when I came to wash the holiday laundry.

😡😡

I can't add anything to the post but I'm very jealous ❤️

Mine does this too! This thread is doing a great job of highlighting all those little things that I haven't even noticed, I have just been basking in the overall feeling of being protected, cherished, respected and cared for, but you are all pointing out the little details that I hadn't really understood 😍

Ah and here I am with an ADHD dyslexic!!

Watching how patient he is with our children. He never turns on the tv, when he has free time with them he sits down and does 'workbook': reading, writing and some simple maths and the kids love it. I grew up with alcoholic parents and having a husband who is so present and involved with the children makes my heart swell. Also when he walks around with no top on and I can secretly perv over his muscles 💦

I notice some of these are new bf or partners. I wonder if some of this is an act as it's all new. Hope not though.

I think this thread is showing women really do choose the bear 🐻 in the nicest possible way.

I have a lovely DP, but you can always learn new tricks! 😁

This thread is great! I am learning a lot. I do some of these things but there is a lot of room for improvement.