AIBU husband w*nking

[FarmerJojo81]

What are people's views on this? I know my husband does it and he says he needs to orgasm daily so if we don't have sex for a few days then I understand he gets frustrated. I turn a blind eye but know it goes on discretely - fine. For context we have had issues with our sex live since DC was born but have been trying to get back on track and this week have been having regular sex. Today I walked into the bedroom and he was having a wank whilst watching something on his phone. I was annoyed as it was morning and I was in the kitchen getting child's breakfast. I came looking for husband to see where he was. Child could have easily walked in. I was livid.

He is now annoyed with me as I "shamed" him and overreacted. I have apologised for storming out but not for being angry and said I don't take responsibility for his actions. He's saying it's all about how I make him feel and connected to our sex life problems.

The cool wives are out in force today, I see

OP I'd be furious. He's not sex starved, he's acting like a 12 year old whose just discovered what an erection is. There is a time and place, and this wasn't it.

Perfect.

🤣

Are you male?

My first thought was who has time for a handshake with the unemployed in the morning.

My second thought was that you could have offered to finish the job.

Why on earth is it insulting to masturbate by yourself?! 🙄

Yeah I noticed the cool wives on here. 🙄 They think it's funny to mock and deride women who aren't comfortable or happy with their husband wanking every day, in a room that children could walk in and out of. Posting their pathetic little LOLing emojis >>>> 😂

Some women on here have a very low bar, if they are happy to be with a pervy man who wanks himself off every day because he can't control himself. He sounds about 14 to me. This is 'boy just hit puberty' behaviour. Bet he calls a woman's genitalia 'clunge,' and insists the OP gives him love bites so he can prove he's had a fuck.

No-one gives a shit about wanking. But his wife was downstairs doing the childcare that he obviously thinks is women’s work, freeing him to fumble with his dick while watching porn. He had sex the night before, the poor wee tosser was hardly sex starved, but thought indulging in the sex industry where so many women and children are trafficked and abused was his divine right.

How is masturbating degrading to one's partner? Me having a quiet wank by myself has nothing to do with my DH, and vice versa. Sometimes it's nice to just pleasure yourself!

God posters are sooooooooo desperate and falling over themselves to go on and on and on saying "masturbation is normal and a private matter" as if it was a shocking revelation as to their incredible insight and understanding. "Women masturbate too" as if we are all a bunch of imbeciles.

NOBODY SAID IT WASNT NORMAL. NOBODY. NOT ONE SOUL.

The situation in the OP is seedy and pathetic and disrespectful and totally unecessary at that point in time. (If you bother to read OPs posts)

The issue with getting the kids breakfast needs more context. This part wouldn't bother me at all because DH does more than his fair share. In holidays we roughly take it in turns getting up. If OP's DH is generally shite with this then I can see why she might be annoyed, but then this is a bigger issue.

A bedroom is a private place, and children should be taught this. So I don't see the issue between love in the bedroom and winking in the bedroom.

I personally don't like porn because of the ethical issues (rather than the explicit material per say). But it isn't clear if OP has an issue with this, or whether this has been discussed. I would encourage the use of literature, art, imagination, the shower instead.

He's body he's choice seems like he's having to service himself... but I absolutely agree lock the blooming door!

I’d be annoyed if he wasn’t pulling his weight regardless of what “fun” activity he was doing.

I’d be seriously unimpressed on many levels at him doing that where a child could walk in on him.

I would also have very strong opinions about the type of porn he was using. I find it a turn off when criminal exploitation is a turn on.

Wanking per se is not a problem for me. I think masturbation can be healthy and a positive thing in relationships for both sexes.

It can also be deeply problematic and damaging, largely due to the three factors above, and when it negatively impacts on the other partner’s sexual satisfaction. (Am I right in guessing that he’s not able to cum piv? And that non sexual intimacy and support are a bit lacking?)

I’d also be unimpressed at the reflexive prude-shaming.

He could be wonking, formulating government policies...

I confess I have only read the first few responses to your post but had to reply - they are no doubt from guys or “pick me” girls. No responsible father would be jacking off to porn while you do all the wake up work for your child.

No.

He is not some special, highly sexed man you need to make allowances for. Shaming him, my arse. He is a completely selfish person who seems to think his needs are paramount, over and above those even of his child. He literally chose his dick, and porn, instead of helping you and seeing his kid. You need to understand and acknowledge this fact, and understand his priorities - is this what you want?

lol at the suggestion of having to knock on your OWN bedroom door in case your husband is having some me time! No chance. And no fucking way would a lock be an option! Bathroom, yes, I don't want to see another adult shitting or wiping their arse but a bedroom is a shared private space so wankers beware imo.

Regarding op's dh, if his dc are up then he's up. Unless it's alternate lie-ins when op has the option of some nice time of her own. I get the feeling it's not.

The situation isn’t any of those things. A wank before getting up in the morning in the privacy of your bedroom when you know your OH is doing the breakfast routine with the DC is totally normal.

Are you one of those people that have a wank shack at the bottom of the garden and you have to schedule a session in well in advance?

This. ^ He sounds vile!

At least it's not cycling or golf

Have you read ANYTHING that the OP has posted?!

She’s not dictating what he does. She wants him to do it in an appropriate place and appropriate time. He knows not to do it in a public place so why can’t he use the same common sense at home?!

wtf are you going on about?

No-one gives a shit about wanking. But his wife was downstairs doing the childcare that he obviously thinks is women’s work, freeing him to fumble with his dick while watching porn. He had sex the night before, the poor wee tosser was hardly sex starved, but thought indulging in the sex industry where so many women and children are trafficked and abused was his divine right.

This with bells on. Just bash one out in the shower. Fine. But I remember the days when I had babies on my hips in one hand, laundry basket in the other, and Mr. Fucking Indulgence who had plenty o' sex, mind, would just sloth around all weekend, wanking to the bleached assholes of they're not really 19 year olds while baby puke dribbled down my swollen, rock hard, nothing-more-than-a-feed-trough boobs. Oh wait, let me grab my armour because here comes the "Well with that attitude, men are entitled to wank to something better! You have failed him with your shitty outlook!" brigade. I can hear them pounding in the distance alongside the cool wives.
I've lost count of the number of scummy brigades upholding and promoting the diminishing of a woman's true worth.

He only had a wank. Was he bashing it out for half an hour or 5 minutes?

lol at the suggestion of having to knock on your OWN bedroom door in case your husband is having some me time!

I don’t just allow anyone to walk in on me any time they feel like it- even my husband. I like my privacy and you can damn well believe my DH knocks when the door is shut before coming in. It’s not all about wanking, there are some personal grooming tasks I do that I don’t need or want an audience for.