AIBU husband w*nking

[FarmerJojo81]

What are people's views on this? I know my husband does it and he says he needs to orgasm daily so if we don't have sex for a few days then I understand he gets frustrated. I turn a blind eye but know it goes on discretely - fine. For context we have had issues with our sex live since DC was born but have been trying to get back on track and this week have been having regular sex. Today I walked into the bedroom and he was having a wank whilst watching something on his phone. I was annoyed as it was morning and I was in the kitchen getting child's breakfast. I came looking for husband to see where he was. Child could have easily walked in. I was livid.

He is now annoyed with me as I "shamed" him and overreacted. I have apologised for storming out but not for being angry and said I don't take responsibility for his actions. He's saying it's all about how I make him feel and connected to our sex life problems.

That would put me off too 🤮 never had that in a relationship but I can imagine that level of sex addiction can lead to so many issues.

justify?
why does he need to justify, why does anyone?

what has it got to do with anyone else, if they're not involved and its not harming anyone.

This is the perfect opportunity to start knocking on the bedroom door before walking in and to teach your DC to do the same.

Your DH was in private. Bedrooms are private spaces. As it is, your child could walk in on the two of you having sex as easily as walking in on him or you having a wank.

Start the habit of knocking on bedroom doors. Teach the DC.

You are kind of shaming him by being angry. It makes your apology a non apology.

so the 3 year old was being supervised by their other parent and he had a quiet moment to himself...

I would say you go girl. If I knew my DH were downstairs feeding the DC breakfast and it was my turn for a lie in, a morning orgasm isn’t a bad idea..

Our bedroom door doesn’t lock. We have this custom where we knock on a bedroom door and don’t just walk in. You don’t need locks if you respect privacy

TBF OP if a few more DH's/DP's took it in hand there wouldn't be so many posts on here of women complaining their menfolk wanted sex all the time.

Live and let live on this one.

Nothing wrong with wanking; everyone has different sex drives and things that pleasure them. And everyone has different attitudes to porn and whether/where it's acceptable in their relationship.

But he shouldn't be watching porn or wanking when he should be parenting.

And he shouldn't be watching porn or wanking where the kids might easily walk in on him.

Otherwise, wank away 🤷‍♀️

this.

Why should he be parenting?! OP says she was sorting the childs breakfast out? Seeing as though the child is 3, I imagine she's sorting a bowl of cereal / piece of toast, what "parenting" did he need to be doing?!

Morning routine with kids and he's watching porn (presumably) and having a wank.

He doesn't need to orgasm daily, he just likes to. So he prioritises it.

The Dick reigns supreme.

Whats he watching!? People alwys talk about porn as if it's one thing. It could be absolutely any genre. What does he need his daily fix of. I imagine it wont be vanilla in and out stuff.

Dear God, he had sex last night and still needed porn and a wank in the morning? Sorry op, that’s just so pathetic. Don’t let him bully you into questioning your reaction - he’s a seedy wanker. Literally.

The OP went looking for her husband, so presumably she felt there was something that needed doing, other than lying in bed wanking.

Let's agree to disagree on that one ;)

Ok, said not many women, who don’t care about sex trafficking and abuse.

Well they're on holiday - assuming he is normally working - so maybe he just fancied having a "lie in" whilst they were having breakfast???

I mean we would never have sex basically if this was the case because our kids are always about and there is always a chance on one or the other walking in on us at night as most kids do tend to wake up and come wandering in. However, I’m pretty sure we would hear them padding down the corridor and stop what we were doing immediately. Thankfully we haven’t been caught so far. I’m sure that’s not much difference from wanking? Or are you outraged at that too?

It’s not a competition for martyrdom. Parents are allowed to take care of themselves, and orgasms are very beneficial to mental health. Having children isn’t some pact to live like miserable nuns/monks dedicating every waking minute to the raising of their offspring.

Absolutely 😂No wonder so many men are having "secret" wanks when some of these women are so uptight they literally cannot bear the thought of anyone ever being horny when there are jobs to be done!!!

Exactly this. We had DSD walk in the other night (carpets upstairs and she was barefoot). Thankfully we were in a position that made it easy(ish) to cover up! But yes, it does happen. And any parent who says otherwise is either lying or has no sex life.

Right, so now one poster insisting he’s a sex addict and needs help, another outraged that he’s already had sex so how can he possibly be masturbating and therefore he’s ‘seedy’, someone else speculating (wildly) that he can’t be watching ‘vanilla’ porn and most likely something really depraved. 🙄

Shouldn't be doing that and using porn as well is a massive no-no, whether children could walk in or not. Is he a teenager? I understand your sex life is upside down, but there are other things to do that don't involve intercourse. How is he with mutual masturbation, which works very well? He can do this with you. He definitely should not ever insult you by masturbating by himself - it's demeaning to you and suggests you are only worth having around for sex. Tell him to grow up. Also ask him how he'd like it if you masturbated in this way.

Did you mean to make yourself look morally bankrupt?

I’d have splattered his bits and pieces.

Can’t resist a bit of Monty Python…..
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fUspLVStPbk