Anyone else not invisible in middle age?

[MadYoke]

I've read a lot about women becoming invisible as they age but haven't experienced it myself. I'm 60, and I feel quite seen, at work, and just generally. I was wondering if it is about not being desired by men, rather than not being seen? That is probably true, it just doesn't bother me too much. I've gotten more assertive as I age, perhaps that has countered the invisibility? What do others of my age think?

Well that's not how it was intended, just that there is so much online about how middle/older age is terrible for women, and I wasn't feeling it. So was meant to be more positive than negative tbh

‘Meek’ has never been a word associated with me! Young or older.

So pleased you have said this. I am in the second half of my 50's and neither particularly slim or tall, but generally seem to attract positive attention from everyone.
Once a week for a particular reason I visit an area that is known as less than salubrious, my fellow humans could not be more pleasant whether it is holding doors open or just making pleasant small talk. This applies equally with both sexes and all ages.
I attended two events last weekend and was very conscious that the organisers paid much attention to me.
My sister is 12 years older than me and she also attracts positive interactions.
Throughout my life this has been the case and I feel very lucky.

@Screamingabdabz Sorry you've had that experience!

I'm mid 50s and I don't feel invisible. I mean I'm not getting male attention but then I don't want any as I'm happily married.
I don't feel invisible in other ways either. I'm self employed so I have to assert myself to get work so I'm very much visible professionally.
I've never understood the middle aged invisible thing. I assume it's all to do with men not paying you attention but if you're not interested in male attention then you don't feel invisible.
I'm rambling because I've had a couple of drinks 😂

Did anyone see Shania Twain at Glastonbury on the bbc coverage....she must be mid 40's and she was so hot she was on fire 😃

I am 46 and don't feel invisible. I also get way more attention from men than I did when I was young, I think because I'm more confident. Unfortunately I have less time for men's bullshit now.

Couldn't have put it better myself @ssd!

I'm still me, not invisible and bored stiff with people banging on about the menopause and "peri."

She’s 58

She's 58.

X post 😂

I certainly don’t feel invisible and also seem to be noticed by men of all ages.

@kickerconspiracy WOW 😮!!!

Thank OP, no I do get that, I can see there is a lot of negativity about being a middle aged woman. I was thinking if you do feel invisible then you might feel even worse seeing this! Especially with posters saying things like ‘are you sure you weren’t always invisible?’ 😂 You can’t win I suppose.

I’m puzzled by it too.
Yesterday I spotted a random man twice take my photo when I was in a hotel pool (wished I had challenged him instead of just glaring hard at him), I had 2 elite cyclist/lycra clad sportsmen giving me the eye in a hotel bar, and on a lounger the past 2 days resting between sailing - every man who walks past stares at my legs or gusset area (covered with a scarf, dress and knicks!).

At home if I head into a shop in gym kit after a yoga class - I get treated with strange respect, (compared to shopping dressed as an old lady) and at hospital outpatients there were 3 HC professionals in the room, one asked my DOB, another replied so you are XX age then?, and a third just said “wow” - and the room fell silent, (embarrassing…I didn’t know what response they expected of me and the silence went on too long)
I’m not invisible, 68, morbidly overweight, but sporty I guess.
(Oh and the HRT testosterone gel can sometimes make me assertive)

@VWT5 maybe you look like you'd be naughty in bed? 😜

This is just mindset though.

In any of your examples I'd think to myself 'look at that silly twat' (and if necessary, politely and assertively ask them to do whatever is needed) rather than think 'oh poor old me, I'm so invisible!'.

I can never quite work out if I’m turning heads or stomachs, to be honest but I am definitely visible!

I think middle age covers 35 to 59. Over 60 is older, 70 is officially the start of elderly but I know plenty of fit over 70s who don't look elderly. We might have to retire elderly or use it for the over 80s.

I see 35 as the start of middle age because lots of people do die between 65 and 70.

About being seen, at 45 I get lots of attention at work because I am senior, know my stuff, good representative for my firm, worth knowing. It's hard to make your mark as a younger person in my industry so you tend to be a bit sidelined until you have experience.

I am 46 and men still show an interest in me but I have zero interest in them to be honest. Work wise, I'm established and my work is in demand so no issues there.

😂😂

Middle age, according to wiki , is 45-65 approx, so people are correct on the thread.

I'm quite happy with my life, and feel seen. I agree that self esteem and the things people value have a lot to do with it. For those who most value their appearance, it's not so great by mid 60s.

Wiki is written by kids in their late teens and twenties, to them 35 is ancient.

Yes! This is what I was just thinking - at some point I noticed I was being ignored by the arseholes who make being female in a public place so difficult.

Just seen shania and she is as fit as fuck 😍.