Anyone else not invisible in middle age?

[MadYoke]

I've read a lot about women becoming invisible as they age but haven't experienced it myself. I'm 60, and I feel quite seen, at work, and just generally. I was wondering if it is about not being desired by men, rather than not being seen? That is probably true, it just doesn't bother me too much. I've gotten more assertive as I age, perhaps that has countered the invisibility? What do others of my age think?

Yes this. You become invisible to the very twats you have longed for years to be invisible to! It’s great

Also middle age, it's a big bracket

https://www.britannica.com/science/middle-age

That’s not you being invisible, that’s them being rude arses. If you’d just stopped and stood your ground I find it difficult to believe they’d have actually collided with you.

I am also tired about all the endless guff about middle aged women being anxious and fearful. Some may be, perhaps due to hormonal fluctuations..But the majority seem far more confident and brave than most young uns.

Certainly I no longer have social anxiety, travel anxiety or several other anxieties that plagued me in my youth.

My younger sister was visiting me a few years ago. At the time I was heavily pregnant. When I was walking her out to the gates of my apartment block, some man literally shoved me out of the way to get to the gate to hold it open for her.
The type of men that only “see” women they find attractive are horrible. I can’t understand how anyone could be disappointed not to get their attention.

Thank you! It most definitely is a real thing and not about the male gaze…

I’m no shrinking violet. I too have a good full life, scrub up well, great job and valued by friends and family but I am totally invisible.

I had a young chap park a whole full supermarket cage inches in front of my face when I was the only one in an entire aisle. I’ve had numerous occasions in shops where they’ve cleared a queue just to shut the till and walk off when it got down to me. I’ve fully contributed to meetings where I wasn’t even mentioned in the minutes.

A lot of posters here have defensively listed all the areas they’ve ‘still got it’ - yes no doubt. Lots of older women are awesome and full of energy, but invisibility in wider society is not just a fiction. It’s a lived experience for some of us.

Definitely not invisible. I've never felt more confident, heard or valued age 48.

Brilliant! I bet that's it. I'm 62. I've never felt invisible in any sphere of life. I still even get male interest in public, although not to the extent I did until I was early to mid 50s.

Exactly, it's like saying you miss being a piece of meat/hole a man just wants to fuck. I won't miss that when that disappears.

Yes most older women I know are bad asses 🖤

I don’t feel bad invisible

yes i no longer get cars (driven by men) stopping when waiting to cross the road

but I am respected at work and I feel ok about myself. I accept I am not the hot woman I once was but I am more confident on my abilities and I simply don’t care what men think about me now it’s liberating

@Screamingabdabz Was that not the same when you were younger though? More of a meek person thing than an older woman thing.

Thanks everyone. This has been a nice uplifting thread! Onwards and upwards so.

61 here and very seen! And sometimes desired by men! Don't have much chance to do anything about it tho!

Yep. 46. Hot as fuck. Think it’s confidence?

How ever could you put a 40 year old in the same life and health bracket as a 69er?!

This sort of seems a bit well ‘bully for you.’ I suppose the fact is that a lot of middle aged/ older women do feel invisible, not all but quite a significant proportion. I feel like this thread is going to the other extreme- everyone here is more attractive, more assertive & kicking ass all over town. I suspect for a lot of us it’s somewhere between the two.

I don't think it's middle age as it can happen when younger, it's attractiveness. If you're slim or tall you always catch attention.

Me too (I'm 50). I do notice some men in their 20s looking right through me- usually the gym bro types- but who cares about them?

I look the same as I did. Just older and alot wiser.

I am 53 and weigh the same (just have no waist since menopause)

Plenty of men (my age) fancy me.

I feel invisible to young men but thats normal.

Invisible to men definitely. Walk down the street and men, even my age don't look at all. I don't care but it is noticeable from years ago. In every other way OK I think. I do get people offering me help these days although I don't need any. And asked if I'm alright with the stairs!

I am middle age and definitely not invisible

I was a very attractive 30 something but I still remember getting sidelined. I had dark hair and I can tell you with absolutely certainty that dark women get overlooked all the time next to blonde women. It’s that shallow. I know this because I am now blonde and 51 and I get a lot more attention now even though I had lovely, long glossy hair when younger. Getting attention from men really does come down to something as superficial as hair colour. I literally never really got hit on in bars or anything but my fair hair friends who I am confident saying we’re not as pretty as I was got men literally falling over themselves. In a couple of cases I have been clubbing with blonde, straight hair, slim friends who did not have particularly pretty faces and they couldn’t walk to the bar without men intercepting them. Due to how dark my hair was I never got a second glance. It was pretty standard when out with blonde friends. So, it’s not just about age. It’s hair colour too.

I’m 45 and definitely don’t feel invisible, have quite a few social events that I attend and get chatted to all day and night and chat back but I’m a chatty person so that’s probably why.

Oh well, I will take comfort in the fact I should have at least 20 good years left in me😆