Best nugget of parenting advice you ever received?

[Justaworriedmum]

I’m curious about everyone’s best bits of parenting advice… I have a 1 year old so I’m approaching the more tricky bits of parenting!

Really restrict screens and don’t allow them on the internet unless you are standing behind them. A former friend is going to prison for grooming some of my friends children. It’s been horrible.

Trust your gut ( mother) instinct.

When they are in chaos, try to be their calm.

Just add water. If they are whingy, bored, hot, overstimulated, whatever, dunk them in a bath with bubbles, give them a little bucket of water outside with toys to clean, a paintbrush to "paint" brickwork with etc.

This too, shall pass

Agree with restricting screens. If you do let them watch tv, keep them away from channels with commericals - kids are really susceptible to adverts, they will endlessly want the shit food and toys that are advertised.

Also pick your battles - so maybe say yes to wearing a tutu to the supermarket, but insist on the tooth brushing for example.

Always keep their hands clean. It saves a lot of housework.

(Obv with some exceptions) everything is a phase. Whether it's colic, tantrums, fussiness with food, waking up at 4am, etc.

And if you have a 2nd one those phases fly by so quickly you'll wonder why they were such a big deal the first time!

No screens (ipads etc) until they are old enough (min 8 yrs old), pick your battles (you can only die on 1 hill), have secure boundaries in place through the toddler years and enforce them, daily physical outdoor exercise in nature, housework will always be there, your child won't always need you, teach them how to sit at a table and to eat out in restaurants without screens.

Came here to say this! Just add water is 100% best advice i got. Get them to 'wash' their toys, have a bath, 'water' the flowers, play 'sink or float' in the kitchen sink etc.
Works wonders.

Don't compare
Remember they are individuals

Maintain consistent boundaries and rules.
Be firm but fair.
Pick your battles.
When you get it wrong, apologise.

"He'll do it when he's ready" - from the HV very early on! He's now 10, and it's as true now as it was when he was ten months, I can suggest things, get ready for things (potty training for example) and try things, but they are actually achieved when he feels ready to do them; we've always had good routines so this isn't about embracing chaos or tiptoeing around in his wake, but rather knowing that me stressing about "should" and what other kids are doing is pointless...and when he does stuff when he's ready, it's done easily, and stays done. Life has been much easier and less stressful through adopting that as a mantra :)

Take lots of photos, they grow up and change so fast.
Make your own decisions on screens/sweets etc based on your child, only you know them and how they'll respond.

Sleep when the baby sleeps
Give your love and time in abundance
Pick your battles
Only give 2 choices/options

Don't give them the spoon too early-my dad (his dad told him this after giving my then baby uncle the spoon at an early stage and lost control of it)

They are a lot harder to kill than they look-my grandad (told to my mother when she was fussing over everything with me)

Just do whatever you have to do to survive-me,yesterday to my son (who's just made me a granny!)

If you have the energy, take time to listen to all the advice, but grant yourself permission not to act on it. You know yourself, your family and your baby/ies best. Know that not all advice will be relevant for you and yours. Trust your instincts and do what works for you and your family.

Thats the best one I was given. The best one I give myself is talk to your partner/coparent. They're often not a mindreader and may have no idea how much you're struggling/need help, or what highs you experienced that day. Tell them, share things with them, say when you need help and what they can do. Whilst a good moan to an external source can be cathartic, things don't tend to improve without communication between you.

Take time to understand what they’re trying to tell you, even a newborn can express what they need, and as they get older their brain is words ahead of their tongue, so be patient and listen when they get frustrated.

always except that you may need to cancel or alter plans, I had 3 children in the car, picnic in the boot, locking car up and bang, eldest sick, all in whilst washing and changing, when toddler sick , I swear they were all fine up till then 🤷🏼‍♀️, the bug hit the whole family over the next 3 days !

no matter what happens don’t panic, take a deep breath asses the situation and then deal with it

When giving a small child a sheet of stickers, peel off the surrounding ‘dead space’ of sticker sheet. Makes it 100 times easier for them to peel off with their little fingers.

Just make sure the surrounding doesn’t contain the instructions of where to place the stickers-
although this applies more to sticker books for older children.

Keep your sense of humour and help them to develop theirs.

Don't think you are the only person who can mind your child

They are portable.

Given to me by my Grandmother

We brought DS to (sedate) parties, dinners, days out. He never had a routine really, he ate when he was hungry and slept when he was tired.
He was always happy to go with the flow.

I was told by my neighbour the day I came home from hospital to follow Gina Ford and after about 4 days was a nervous wreck.

My nanny came told me to throw it away and live my life, he can come with me, so we did and realised routine was not for us.

Take all the snuggles and hugs. The day will come when you pick them up and carry them for the last time and you won't realise it at the time.

Never make them hug or kiss anyone and promote body autonomy. We were forced as kids to kiss and hug total strangers and sit on their knees. I was a sitting duck for CSA. I made sure that DS always knew it was a choice he could make and if people got miffed, that's their problem not his.

Teach them kindness, but balance it with them knowing their worth. My DS has finally phased out a friend since they were 4 because that friend never grew out of being a moody little fucker who treats his friends like shit. Knowing how to recognise when it's time to walk away from something or someone knowing you did all you could, is one of the best life lesson DS could have learned. He'll take that lesson into future relationships, workplaces and friendships.

Foster all and any passions - even if you don't get them yourself. DS is involved in a sport that I know nothing about...but I'm swotting up!

Everyone's winging it. However serene, organised and on top of things they seem, they are still winging it. We all are.

Not all babies are happy being portable. Remember all children are different and it doesn't matter if you take them everywhere or have routine.

Whatever works for you