Best nugget of parenting advice you ever received?

[Justaworriedmum]

I’m curious about everyone’s best bits of parenting advice… I have a 1 year old so I’m approaching the more tricky bits of parenting!

From my fab mum in law god rest her.
They cry tears, not blood. (This is the translation from Kikuyu)

It helped in those early days when I was hormonal and didn't know what the fuck I was doing and thinking who the hell thought it was a good idea to trust me with an infant... to just take a breath and think yes, it's OK, nobody's dying here.

You don’t have to attend every argument they invite you to.

Try to default to yes. Only say no if you really need to and be willing to explain why. Having said that when dealing with a stubborn toddler, “because I said so” is a perfectly legitimate answer!

Ask about their day and REALLY listen to the answer.

This is so bloody true 😁

When my first DC was born I was advised to spend time to.priperly enjoy your baby, jobs around the house can wait. I always made sure we had playtime and went out and house jobs came when she took her nap.

If they are whinging or having a crying fit either go out or put them in the bath no matter what time.

They're absolutely individual. We don't expect two fifty year olds to be the same, why two six month olds?

To choose your battles, especially with teens

Their sock drawer should be filled only with socks all of the exact same colour!

If you have the slightest concern that it isn't chocolate, don't lick it

Never reward tantrums or undesirable behaviour with lots of attention, or they will just do more of it.

Step away, pretend you haven't seen it.

Yours are young, and mine are grown up now, but looking back I really wish I had had a routine of chores for them. We do things "as and when" rather than, say, tidying on a Saturday or vacuuming on a Sunday. They seem to struggle a bit with these things now.

I really love some of these. REALLY listening to how their day was… I love that!

also about dealing with the situation and not what triggers you about the situation. This is something I’ll need to remember. And picking my battles.

Glad to read we are all winging it! Just as I feel I know what I’m doing, she’s started throwing tantrums when I don’t let her whack the TV 😬.

On the listening to their day, there comes a point where the answer to 'what did you do today?' becomes "nothing" or "I can't remember".

The trick I found worked was to ask silly questions, so instead of What did you have for lunch? I'd ask, Did a giraffe come and eat your sandwiches today at lunch?

That would make her giggle and tell me no, she ate her jacket potato herself and had extra cheese.

Oh this is genius. I'm going to try that this evening after nursery - my DS(4) regularly comes out with "I don't know" or "nothing" when I ask him what he did that day, or what he had for lunch.

Best advice came from my best friend who had kids a couple of years before me. "You know what you're doing, even if you don't know you know what your doing yet." Bit of a mouthful, but it gave me that glimmer of confidence. And he was right. We'd done everything we could, read the books, gone to classes, asked friends and relatives, but in the end we just needed the confidence to "be parents".

Pick your battles, and don't threaten things you have no intention of following through on. The amount of parents shouting "if you don't behave, we're going home right now" when they clearly have no intention of leaving a supermarket shop half done, or wasting an expensive entry fee somewhere.

Also, don't be afraid to apologise for getting things wrong or losing your temper. It's good to model this to your kids.

Here's another one.....

Have meals together, as a family, around a table. As soon as they are old enough to sit up and hold a spoon!

Obviously there will be times/days when this just isn't practical, but make it the default to eat all together as much as you can, even if it's just at the weekends. No phones, no TV.....just face-to-face family time.

We still do this now, and the DCs are in their early 20s. They tell me it is the best parenting advice I ever followed, and they are baffled at friends who are like ships in the night with their parents, cooking their own food and scurrying off to eat on their own.

age 7 ish and over- You don’t have to decide on a punishment right there and then… you can tell them you are too angry right now and will discuss it with them later . the waiting period is a cooling off period for you both and the punishment is generally more in line with the deed

'You're only ever as happy as you're unhappiest child'

Hello btw, nice to meet you all 😊🌈

Your daily success criteria shouldnt be more than "Everyone fed, no one dead".
Lots of days and weeks and months you'll do more. But some times low aims are needed.

I find the opposite! Giving warning gives her time to decide she doesn’t want to. I was struggling to get her in the pram etc and I was given the advice to just do it quickly and it has worked for us!

Pick your battles
Don't compare to other parents and their children. You will meet others who tell you their 6 month old was walking and toilet trained. Smile then ignore.
Keep talking to them even when out shopping.
Don't worry about mess. It can get cleaner up.
Trust your gut even if people call you paranoid.
Don't bother with cry it out you'll get stressed .

That if you think of something you'd like to do with them, do it asap, because before you know it they'll be up and gone.

I was told this when my daughter was under 1 and always remembered it. She's 28 now and yes the time went by in a flash.

Invest in a decent thermometer. Mine has provided reassurance many times over the years, I’ve had the same one since 2010 and it’s still going strong with my 3 kids!

age 1 is nothing compared to moody teens 🤣