Best nugget of parenting advice you ever received?

[Justaworriedmum]

I’m curious about everyone’s best bits of parenting advice… I have a 1 year old so I’m approaching the more tricky bits of parenting!

They won't die if they cry. (obviously in a reasonable context)

Give them a wide variety of food from the start of weaning.

Take far more photos than you think necessary.

“Parent the kids you have, not the ones you were expecting”. Applies especially to SEN kids but really to everybody.

Ignore at least 90% of the parenting advice you get.

Don't compare them to other children. They are mostly at the same level of physical ability when they start school so don't worry about early walkers or talkers . Just focus on your own .

Let them be independent (within safe limits). Teach them laundry/cooking/DIY etc while they still want to learn from their parents. Toddlers are surprisingly good at loading a washer.
Make sure they get to bed at a reasonable time, for their health and your sanity.
Tooth brushing is non-negotiable.

We had two tiny children, born pretty close together. It was a busy and exhausting few years as they were both challenging in different ways. Nevertheless, we were vaguely wondering about having a third child. I met a woman with three children and when this came up in conversation she said to me, with considerable feeling 'Stick at two. You've got two eyes, two ears, two hands, two knees. Life is much easier with two than three.' That tipped the balance for me and I decided then and there to heed that advice. Never regretted it.

It's just a phase.

Unfortunately it holds true for the good as well as the bad but it's still useful!

spend time in nature every day. We all need to, adults, babies, teens

For bedwetters, leaking nappies or illness. Layer up bedding.

So bottom to top, waterproof sheet, sheet, waterproof sheet, sheet. So if the bed gets wet or they're sick in the night you can just whip the top layer off and still have a made bed.

My motto. Everything is a phase.

Yep.

I love Gina Ford. Works great for us, especially with twins.

Stick to your word. If you say no then mean it. If you promise something then deliver on it. If you have told them not to do X because otherwise there will be consequences then you absolutely have to stick to that.
This is hard to do with young toddlers but they learn real fast that you mean business if you’re consistent.

Related to this is that the consequences have to be realistic. If the kids don’t believe you will actually carry out the consequence then you’re facing a losing battle. Very few of us would actually cancel a holiday or Christmas but will something like confiscating toys or remove screen time is something doable.

Everything is just a phase and you will get through it
Try to ignore competitive parents especially with things like potty training, weaning etc. They will all get there eventually and it’s better to be relaxed about it all.
Never underestimate the power of sleep - everyone is better if they sleep more so get them to bed early and encourage naps!
Frustration causes lots of tears and tantrums so use Makaton to communicate as early as possible
Get small babies used to noise in the day time so you’re not tiptoeing around all the time

"Always say yes unless there's a really good reason for saying no"

Keep calm, remember you are the adult, don't have a tantrum just because your child is having one.

Remember that any advice you are given is just people justifying their own choices.

No screens until needed for school homework.
You can let them cry while you shower or poo
Going back to work is a normal rite of passage - Dad doesn’t feel guilty so nor should you.

Read to your child.

And on the no screens - I’m not in this camp:
all of mine used Reading Eggs and Poisson Rouge before starting school (and were reading when they arrived as a result). One of my dc used Atom for 11+ prep and it was fantastic. The children watched very little TV in their childhood, and didn’t have free reign with the computer, but the educational sites we used were helpful.

And it didn’t ruin their education - eldest going to Oxford, next dc heading for 5 A* at A level…

If you say something follow it through, don't go back on what you said; they will remember it and use it against you.

From tiny babyhood, read at least one book to them every single day and talk to them lots, even if it’s nonsense

This is a brilliant one and I second it.

If he/she is still doing it when they are 18, then worry.
My dear FiL told me this and still gets me through most events!

@Hadalifeonce
"If you say something follow it through, don't go back on what you said; they will remember it and use it against you."

You can also change your mind. They will remember it and learn that it's OK to rethink, to be compassionate and to respond to changing curcumstance.

Do whatever it takes to get the maximum number of people the maximum amount of sleep today.

Good enough is good enough