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Original poster

Hotel guest asking me to steal his number

442 replies

Mangococktail · 28/06/2024 21:30

I work on a hotel front desk at an upmarket hotel. Love my job.

We had a guest check in for two nights. We hit it off. He extended his stay by two more nights then another night then another.

We chatted lots including for 3 hours straight one night when I came off shift. My colleagues know I've never done anything like this before...I liked him.

When he left he tipped big and gave me a small personal gift that he knew I'd like.

He said he'd come back for lunch on Tuesday. I said well if I'm not here I hope you enjoy it. I don't know my shifts.

He then asked me to keep in touch and said I could get his number off the booking system. I told him I absolutely couldn't do that.

He said I could as he'd just given me permission.

We really got on and I'd like to see him again but I really can't be taking guests numbers off the system.

Why not just give me his number??
What do you all think?

OP posts:
IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 29/06/2024 12:49

What if a guest has left something behind? Is it not allowed to call them?

Can't you see the difference between that and an employee accessing data for solely personal reasons?

daisychain01 · 29/06/2024 12:53

Anyone could turn out to be a weirdo. Or they could turn out to be just what you’re looking for.

anyone so idiotic and ill informed that they don't know the very basics of data privacy in 21st century, is not someone to rush headlong to get involved with. That doesn't make them a "weirdo", it makes them really dumb, who has shown themselves up as such.

Lifeomars · 29/06/2024 12:56

Mangococktail · 28/06/2024 21:55

@TokyoSushi as you seem wise..so the line about coming back for lunch on Tuesday isn't true either? What is the point of that?

God I am so gullible!

You are not gullible, you are a decent honest person who obviously does her job well. Because you are decent and honest it can be quite hard to get your head around the behaviours of people who are not. I am a bit like that, I have never ever set out to cheat, deceive, lie or con be that in my personal or work life so in the past I have been occasionally conned or taken in. Even though I am a lot older that you, I still get take aback by the sneaky things some people get up to.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Holidays
Kendodd · 29/06/2024 13:00

Am I the only romantic on here who doesn't think the guy is married/weird/axe murderer etc?
I get that you can't take is number from the system as you risk the sack (I'd do it if it was me though). If you like him though, try to get in touch, why not? Could be the start of something great. If he's coming back for lunch on Tuesday, make sure you're on shift then, or call by, and give him your number. Don't let a possibly great opportunity just slip through your fingers OP.
Update us on Tuesday Smile

TheSquareMile · 29/06/2024 13:01

I was working with a woman many years ago and was chatting to her over lunch. I was telling her about a guy I had been seeing for a while and about how difficult actual contact with him was, largely because of the logistics of the situation (in my view!).

She said that something her father had said to her many years ago was that when a man is keen, he'll always go the extra mile to be able to see a woman he likes. Hearing that clarified things for me.

I'd advise you to think along those lines too. If this guy is a decent guy who is interested in you, you'll see him again.

If he should say something about his number being available on the system, I'd just give him a straight answer saying that it would have been unethical.

At the risk of sounding like someone's elderly granny, I'd be careful about getting into a phone relationship with him. There's a risk that he'll progress to late night calls (etc etc) and you can do without that.

I would leave things where they are at the moment. If he likes you, he will come back. I would suggest lunch somewhere nice at that point.

If he's not keen on lunch in a public place, that will tell you something about his current situation.

PS I just wanted to add that it's nice for you to chat with him, but don't go down a route where you are 'counselling' him as that puts you in a category I don't think you will want to be in.

AnotherUdderName · 29/06/2024 13:02

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 29/06/2024 12:40

Hotels have to have details of who their guests. They have to comply with The Immigration (Hotel Records) Order 1972. Some UK hotels ask for passports, particularly for non-British guests. The Immigration (Hotel Records) Order 1972 requires hotels to keep records of the full names and nationalities of guests over 16 years old. For non-British guests, hotels may also ask for passport details and their next destination.

All of the information obtained can only be held for the purposes it was obtained for in compliance with GDPR. No one should access it, far less use it for personal reasons.

Show quote history

I know that guests have to register.

What I didn't know was that someone on reception who would have access to that info, for genuine reasons, (ie adding the info) couldn't look at it without it being an offence.

Being blunt, how would anyone know? There could be reasons why hotel staff wanted to check someone's details.

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 29/06/2024 13:06

BiscuityBoyle · 29/06/2024 12:26

That’s the bit I find odd too. Only 45 minutes away and one overnight stay if it’s a late boozy night I can understand. But staying for 2 nights is odd and the willingness to just randomly extend is strange too.

Show quote history

It's not necessarily odd. Depends why he was there. If it were a business conference or similar lasting 2 days, with perhaps a closing evening event on the second day 2 nights isn't that odd.

I'm more puzzled about how it's possible to spend enough time with the reception staff to hit it off- bar staff possibly on a quiet evening but do people spend time chatting at length with the reception staff?

The whole thing sounds like a plot outline for a Richard Curtis rom com.

XiCi · 29/06/2024 13:08

daisychain01 · 29/06/2024 12:53

Anyone could turn out to be a weirdo. Or they could turn out to be just what you’re looking for.

anyone so idiotic and ill informed that they don't know the very basics of data privacy in 21st century, is not someone to rush headlong to get involved with. That doesn't make them a "weirdo", it makes them really dumb, who has shown themselves up as such.

Edited

Hmm. I must admit that if I had to make a list of ideal attributes for a boyfriend, being well informed of data privacy in the 21st century probably would even make the top 1000 😆

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 29/06/2024 13:10

AnotherUdderName · 29/06/2024 13:02

I know that guests have to register.

What I didn't know was that someone on reception who would have access to that info, for genuine reasons, (ie adding the info) couldn't look at it without it being an offence.

Being blunt, how would anyone know? There could be reasons why hotel staff wanted to check someone's details.

Show quote history

You really don't understand GDPR do you?

Or fines for breaches of GDPR; or gross misconduct by an employee.

Aria999 · 29/06/2024 13:12

Bit late now OP but could you not have said 'I can't take your number off the system but here's mine...'?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 29/06/2024 13:13

Why didn't he just say, "What time does your shift end? If you'd like to meet me at X place then, we could have a drink". Then you could both exchange numbers away from the hotel.

I really don't understand the intrigue/position? It sounds so complicated for such a simple thing.

Kendodd · 29/06/2024 13:14

TheSquareMile · 29/06/2024 13:01

I was working with a woman many years ago and was chatting to her over lunch. I was telling her about a guy I had been seeing for a while and about how difficult actual contact with him was, largely because of the logistics of the situation (in my view!).

She said that something her father had said to her many years ago was that when a man is keen, he'll always go the extra mile to be able to see a woman he likes. Hearing that clarified things for me.

I'd advise you to think along those lines too. If this guy is a decent guy who is interested in you, you'll see him again.

If he should say something about his number being available on the system, I'd just give him a straight answer saying that it would have been unethical.

At the risk of sounding like someone's elderly granny, I'd be careful about getting into a phone relationship with him. There's a risk that he'll progress to late night calls (etc etc) and you can do without that.

I would leave things where they are at the moment. If he likes you, he will come back. I would suggest lunch somewhere nice at that point.

If he's not keen on lunch in a public place, that will tell you something about his current situation.

PS I just wanted to add that it's nice for you to chat with him, but don't go down a route where you are 'counselling' him as that puts you in a category I don't think you will want to be in.

Edited

Times have changed since then though and 'men going the extra mile' without very explicit invitation could seem stalkerish now. She needs to let him know she's interested. If he's a nice guy, he might not want to 'chase' her.

Cinai · 29/06/2024 13:16

I don’t think there’s a superior motive behind him asking you to take the number from the system, nor does it mean he’s married (he could still give you his number in that case, and if his wife finds out claim that you got it from the system), but nonetheless you shouldn’t risk your job for it.

CheeseWisely · 29/06/2024 13:17

daisychain01 · 29/06/2024 12:53

Anyone could turn out to be a weirdo. Or they could turn out to be just what you’re looking for.

anyone so idiotic and ill informed that they don't know the very basics of data privacy in 21st century, is not someone to rush headlong to get involved with. That doesn't make them a "weirdo", it makes them really dumb, who has shown themselves up as such.

Edited

🤣🤣🤣

Wheresthebeach · 29/06/2024 13:21

Sounds like a power play to me. Getting you to do something that could get your fired is a Red Flag of massive proportions.

Enjoy the memories of the flirtation, and have nothing more to do with him.

gardenmusic · 29/06/2024 13:25

Hmm. I must admit that if I had to make a list of ideal attributes for a boyfriend, being well informed of data privacy in the 21st century probably would even make the top 1000 😆

Agreed, but having the wit to just ask me out would be high on the list!

good96 · 29/06/2024 13:32

Can you search him on social media? You will get your answers there. You clearly have something for him.

fleabites · 29/06/2024 13:34

Mmm... I don't really know what he's playing at.
He said you could get his number off the system, you said you couldn't and he said you could because he'd given you permission.
I don't know why he didn't just give you his business card or write his number down and slip it to you on a piece of paper.
Surely the vast majority of people know that people are not allowed to take customers' details from the computer system and use them for their own purposes - ie. asking a customer out for a drink.
And even if he didn't know he should have listened to you when you said you couldn't.

I absolutely wouldn't take his number from the system and contact him. If he really is interested he knows where you are and can call in again and give you his number or ask for yours.

CollyBobble · 29/06/2024 13:35

You've been very unprofessional and now he's playing you.

samarrange · 29/06/2024 13:38

AnotherUdderName · 29/06/2024 13:02

I know that guests have to register.

What I didn't know was that someone on reception who would have access to that info, for genuine reasons, (ie adding the info) couldn't look at it without it being an offence.

Being blunt, how would anyone know? There could be reasons why hotel staff wanted to check someone's details.

Show quote history

Being blunt, how would anyone know? There could be reasons why hotel staff wanted to check someone's details.

We haven't been told how the computer system works. Maybe it pops up all of the guest's details on the screen every time the reception person checks the account for room 14. But maybe there is a separate area for stuff like home address, phone number, and credit card number, and when the receptionist clicks to open that, it gets logged. This would make sense if you think about a male receptionist — who might be an agency employee, or on their first and about to be last day — grabbing the phone numbers of solo female travellers.

Shelby2010 · 29/06/2024 13:44

If you’ve found him on Facebook, can’t you just send him a message or friend request there. From what you’ve said he sounds scared of being rebuffed rather than a player.

Take a chance!

CheeseWisely · 29/06/2024 13:45

Surely the vast majority of people know that people are not allowed to take customers' details from the computer system and use them for their own purposes - ie. asking a customer out for a drink.

I think the vast majority of people would know this is absolutely not allowed when completely unsolicited, but I'd bet that a lot less people would automatically know that it's still not allowed when the customer themself has 'given permission'.

gardenmusic · 29/06/2024 13:45

'He said you could get his number off the system, you said you couldn't and he said you could because he'd given you permission.'

You see, in the time this has played out he could have just given OP his number, and this is what I am finding 'off'.
He is far too complicated. 'Chase me!'

Chocoloca · 29/06/2024 13:50

Ivehearditbothways · 29/06/2024 00:21

I feel like I’ve stepping through the looking glass into some insane world. I mean, mumsnet can be a bit mad with not answering the door, not walking through woodland, not answering the phone… there is a lot of weird stuff in forums but this is something else.

Seriously OP, do not let the man hating paranoia on this forum steer you. The guy gave all indication of being genuine albeit a bit nervous about how to say goodbye. A person who never has to think about GDPR or protocols wouldn’t consider it when saying that you’ve got their number so give them a call. It’s a bit weird that you went off and hid after he said it’s fine because you’ve got permission; because he really thought it was fine. You should have said that it’s a sackable offence even with permission so you can’t access it, but he could write it down himself.

It really sounds like a miscommunication, he was trying to be all easy about it and let you decide if you wanted to continue talking, and he really didn’t realise the rules were so strict.

The replies on here are what’s odd. It’s a bit of an echo chamber and posters rile each other up and all sense is lost.

He wants to see you again, you got no funny vibes from him, you enjoyed his company. There is nothing weird here. He really thought the number thing would be a non-issue. That’s my take on it. In your shoes, I wouldn’t have gone off the hide at the safe, i’d have just asked for his number during the conversation.

But he was bot nervous to flirt, ask her to find his number from system, only nervous to give his number himself. Does not sound like a nervous, shy man.

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 29/06/2024 13:50

samarrange · 29/06/2024 13:38

Being blunt, how would anyone know? There could be reasons why hotel staff wanted to check someone's details.

We haven't been told how the computer system works. Maybe it pops up all of the guest's details on the screen every time the reception person checks the account for room 14. But maybe there is a separate area for stuff like home address, phone number, and credit card number, and when the receptionist clicks to open that, it gets logged. This would make sense if you think about a male receptionist — who might be an agency employee, or on their first and about to be last day — grabbing the phone numbers of solo female travellers.

Show quote history

What I didn't know was that someone on reception who would have access to that info, for genuine reasons, (ie adding the info) couldn't look at it without it being an offence.

Of course the data can be looked at for a genuine reason, if there's a genuine reason. Although as the OP herself pointed out the details of his email address are anonymised by a token so even a genuine reason might not fully disclose the information. Either way this isn't a genuine one.

And as samarrange says the system probably logs accessed.