Hotel guest asking me to steal his number

[Mangococktail]

I work on a hotel front desk at an upmarket hotel. Love my job.

We had a guest check in for two nights. We hit it off. He extended his stay by two more nights then another night then another.

We chatted lots including for 3 hours straight one night when I came off shift. My colleagues know I've never done anything like this before...I liked him.

When he left he tipped big and gave me a small personal gift that he knew I'd like.

He said he'd come back for lunch on Tuesday. I said well if I'm not here I hope you enjoy it. I don't know my shifts.

He then asked me to keep in touch and said I could get his number off the booking system. I told him I absolutely couldn't do that.

He said I could as he'd just given me permission.

We really got on and I'd like to see him again but I really can't be taking guests numbers off the system.

Why not just give me his number??
What do you all think?

I am now very excited for the update on Tuesday!

if management found out, they would ask for evidence that he gave consent. ‘He said it’s ok’ is not enough evidence, and she’d be sacked.

He's putting the ball in your court.

I have to admit I'd never even considered that accessing a guest's details were forbidden. If people check in at the front desk, don't they still complete a registration form sometimes?

What if a guest has left something behind? Is it not allowed to call them?

Oh FFS. There are much easier ways to do that than setting up a fucking honeytrap 😂

The dog was with him at the hotel!?

Yes the dog was with him whole time

Taken in?? !!!!

Absolutely agree with posters who say do not chase this man in any respect by phone or otherwise. I think you have to remove the rose tinted specs & admit if he wants a proper date with you outwith your work he will get back to you. It would be lovely to hear he has proceeded to make contact & arrange a date but until then I'd be extremely cautious.

Absolutely this

It’s a power move. He’s setting you up to do the chasing, plus, you will always be compromised in the relationship because he can hold over you that you did something wrong by getting his number and he can report you at any time if you don’t do what he says. He knows where you are so sit tight and if he’s interested he will come to you. Assuming you want to pursue this which I’m not convinced is a great idea given his behaviour so far.

op what does your gut tell you?

You named this thread “…stealing his number” which suggests you know something isn’t sitting right. You didn’t, for example, name it “possible connection?” Or “fancying customers?”

A red flag for me is that you felt it was “really intense” so much so you had to hide/calm down a bit. I’m also curious how he managed to get the unusual gift for you.

Anyone in business these days knows the importance of data protection for GDPR/risk/data breaches etc. Extremely surprised he suggested you whip it off the system.

Too many red flags for me. Having been in patterns of terrible relationships, one thing I know now is the good ones feel safe, and there’s no weirdness, or small little weird things that I can’t quite explain away.

Loads of cynical posters on here! He might be genuine or he might not be, I wouldn't necessarily have considered the GDPR implications of taking a number / email from the system if I didn't regularly work with GDPR. Balls in his court now since you can't contact him, he'll either come back or he won't. Don't be put off him, if you like him, because of other people's bad experiences.

I agree with this post and am interested in your gut feeling too.

Without prying too much, is there a reason you haven't been dating for 5 years?

How old are you, and how old is he?

I have him in my head as a fair bit older than you, but no idea if that's right or not!

I think if I were you you I’d be there on Tuesday lunchtime to see what happens!!

If he lives nearby did he say why he’d booked into a hotel?

Oh OP I'm so invested in this and hope it has a happy ending.

Yeah he could be a con man, married, a cheat..... but he could also be sat at home wondering why the fuck he didn't take you for a drink.

Please let us know what pans out. Rooting for you!!! ❤️

Go on Amazon prime and buy something for a few quid, send it to him at the hotel's address. It will arrive and you'll have a legit reason to call him. Easy!

The replies on here are what’s odd. It’s a bit of an echo chamber and posters rile each other up and all sense is lost.

With respect, where is your sense?
Why would a normal man who fancies a normal woman not simply ask her out? If he is unsure of her, he needs to phrase it differently - 'if you are free, would you like to...'
Wether he knows hotel protocol or not, asking a woman to look up his number and give him a call tells you a lot about him, such as 'You do the running, I cannot be arsed.' and that is if he is genuine.
I don't think he is going to murder her or is a hotel inspector, I just think he is more complcated than he needs to be.

That’s the bit I find odd too. Only 45 minutes away and one overnight stay if it’s a late boozy night I can understand. But staying for 2 nights is odd and the willingness to just randomly extend is strange too.

I'm just here for the happy ending update ❤️

'BiscuityBoyle · Today 12:26
Mangococktail · Today 11:22
He checked in for 2 nights then kept extending

I only found out on the 5tuhday he lived so close, which I found funny. We aren't a cheap hotel!
Show quote history
That’s the bit I find odd too. Only 45 minutes away and one overnight stay if it’s a late boozy night I can understand. But staying for 2 nights is odd and the willingness to just randomly extend is strange too.'

Chucked out of his home, and thinks he will get back in?

If he keeps extending to see OP, then it really sounds a bit stalker-ish. Just ask the girl out!

Hotels have to have details of who their guests. They have to comply with The Immigration (Hotel Records) Order 1972. Some UK hotels ask for passports, particularly for non-British guests. The Immigration (Hotel Records) Order 1972 requires hotels to keep records of the full names and nationalities of guests over 16 years old. For non-British guests, hotels may also ask for passport details and their next destination.

All of the information obtained can only be held for the purposes it was obtained for in compliance with GDPR. No one should access it, far less use it for personal reasons.

@Mangococktail

Anyone could turn out to be a weirdo. Or they could turn out to be just what you’re looking for. That’s life. How else do you meet people and make new friends and relationships without giving them a try? It’s just life.

Look at all mumsnet threads on relationships. The overwhelming response is “leave him,” to any issue that arises. Doesn’t matter if it’s a new relationship or a marriage of 20 years with children and a full life together. Doesn’t matter if the issue is simply that the guy ate a cupcake belonging to the OP. The answer is “leave him.” Because this site has a huge number of very bitter people who really do hate men.

I’ve had my share of shitty men. I have my share it anger at men. But the responses on here are something else.

A while ago, I started dating someone new and one of our early dates was a bit off, and I wasn’t sure how to respond. I really liked him, we got in so well but I just needed some help in working through initial awkwardness. I asked on here and for about 30 pages, people told me to chuck him and move on. Because he was late to a date and a bit grumpy about something that had happened during his day and had been quiet over text. It was off, and I wasn’t sure if he was starting to show the real him or it was exceptional circumstances. Anyway, mumsnet told me to leave him. I didn’t. I kept getting to know him and it’s been several months now, we just said I love you, and his behaviour on that date was absolutely a one off after a very difficult time. I’m the happiest I’ve been in my private life for a long time, and he makes so many compromises because I have kids and everything, but he’s happy to. We’re happy. If I’d listened to the immediate and unforgiving standard mumsnet reply of “leave him” then I’d have missed out on something really wonderful.

I’m not saying that’s how it will always work out; mostly it doesn’t and a lot of men are utter wankers. But you liked this guy, you got a good vibe. You ran away and hid instead of just saying “I can’t access your details outside of work reasons so here is my number,” but if he comes around again, then go for it. Don’t jump all in expecting him to be amazing, you do not know him yet. But get to know him before making a decision.

He can't give consent for the OP to use his data for this. The data holder is her employer. Her employer acquired his data for a legitimate, specific purpose, to which he consented. The consent was given to her employer.

Any use or access outside that is a breach.

He then asked me to keep in touch and said I could get his number off the booking system. I told him I absolutely couldn't do that.

He said I could as he'd just given me permission.

this seems like a strange conversation to have had. And if it did happen like this, strange he would deliberately and intentionally put you in the position of breaching your employment contract by trying to convince you to do something that doesn't make any sense. All he needed to do was get a pen and paper and write his number down.

There are many many legitimate ways of sharing details, stealing them from a hotel booking system is not one of them. It would put me off wanting to ever see him again if he's that thick.