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Original poster

Hotel guest asking me to steal his number

442 replies

Mangococktail · 28/06/2024 21:30

I work on a hotel front desk at an upmarket hotel. Love my job.

We had a guest check in for two nights. We hit it off. He extended his stay by two more nights then another night then another.

We chatted lots including for 3 hours straight one night when I came off shift. My colleagues know I've never done anything like this before...I liked him.

When he left he tipped big and gave me a small personal gift that he knew I'd like.

He said he'd come back for lunch on Tuesday. I said well if I'm not here I hope you enjoy it. I don't know my shifts.

He then asked me to keep in touch and said I could get his number off the booking system. I told him I absolutely couldn't do that.

He said I could as he'd just given me permission.

We really got on and I'd like to see him again but I really can't be taking guests numbers off the system.

Why not just give me his number??
What do you all think?

OP posts:
TheSquareMile · 29/06/2024 13:57

One other thing occurs to me about his suggesting that OP should take the number on the system and that is that he wanted her to take that particular number.

He's probably someone who has work numbers and a number for the personal mobile he has in his pocket most of the time. The one on the hotel booking is probably his work one.

The work one is more easily managed, because it can be switched off in the evenings and at weekends.

It might be a number he can't remember off the top of his head. He would know his personal one, I would think, but didn't want to give that one (for whatever reason that may be).

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 29/06/2024 14:02

TheSquareMile · 29/06/2024 13:57

One other thing occurs to me about his suggesting that OP should take the number on the system and that is that he wanted her to take that particular number.

He's probably someone who has work numbers and a number for the personal mobile he has in his pocket most of the time. The one on the hotel booking is probably his work one.

The work one is more easily managed, because it can be switched off in the evenings and at weekends.

It might be a number he can't remember off the top of his head. He would know his personal one, I would think, but didn't want to give that one (for whatever reason that may be).

Hmm, possibly. I haven't the faintest idea off the top of my head what my work mobile is. At work it's on the laptop screen in front of me, or the firm website. Outside of work if I want to know what it is I'd have to get work phone out (and work out where on the phone it actually tells me what the number is) or look myself up on my personal phone contact list.

Personal phone, no problem.

Stravaig · 29/06/2024 14:04

This thread is fascinating.

The default MN clamour is to insist that only anonymised information is held on hotel registration systems, with access tightly controlled and monitored, to protect female guests from any potentially predatory staff.

Flip the sexes, throw in a possible romance, and some people lose their good sense.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Holidays
LurkingInTheDark · 29/06/2024 14:08

Ivehearditbothways · 29/06/2024 00:21

I feel like I’ve stepping through the looking glass into some insane world. I mean, mumsnet can be a bit mad with not answering the door, not walking through woodland, not answering the phone… there is a lot of weird stuff in forums but this is something else.

Seriously OP, do not let the man hating paranoia on this forum steer you. The guy gave all indication of being genuine albeit a bit nervous about how to say goodbye. A person who never has to think about GDPR or protocols wouldn’t consider it when saying that you’ve got their number so give them a call. It’s a bit weird that you went off and hid after he said it’s fine because you’ve got permission; because he really thought it was fine. You should have said that it’s a sackable offence even with permission so you can’t access it, but he could write it down himself.

It really sounds like a miscommunication, he was trying to be all easy about it and let you decide if you wanted to continue talking, and he really didn’t realise the rules were so strict.

The replies on here are what’s odd. It’s a bit of an echo chamber and posters rile each other up and all sense is lost.

He wants to see you again, you got no funny vibes from him, you enjoyed his company. There is nothing weird here. He really thought the number thing would be a non-issue. That’s my take on it. In your shoes, I wouldn’t have gone off the hide at the safe, i’d have just asked for his number during the conversation.

This.

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 29/06/2024 14:08

Stravaig · 29/06/2024 14:04

This thread is fascinating.

The default MN clamour is to insist that only anonymised information is held on hotel registration systems, with access tightly controlled and monitored, to protect female guests from any potentially predatory staff.

Flip the sexes, throw in a possible romance, and some people lose their good sense.

The protection of data is to protect all guests. samarrange just pointed out one specific reason why this a good thing.

I agree that some posters are turning this into a (rather improbable) rom com script.

Edit - to be fair I think most posters , including me, think it's weird to some degree.

rightoguvnor · 29/06/2024 14:16

It's one of two things
You were a pleasant distraction whilst he was in the area, he knows full well you won't take his number from the system, which means it is what it is, he doesn't wish to be contacted
He is enjoying the chase and wants you to break both your employer's code and your own to continue the chase, not worth it and even if you did probably not worthwhile as the chase will have ended and so will Mr Nice Guy.

Ivehearditbothways · 29/06/2024 14:19

rightoguvnor · 29/06/2024 14:16

It's one of two things
You were a pleasant distraction whilst he was in the area, he knows full well you won't take his number from the system, which means it is what it is, he doesn't wish to be contacted
He is enjoying the chase and wants you to break both your employer's code and your own to continue the chase, not worth it and even if you did probably not worthwhile as the chase will have ended and so will Mr Nice Guy.

It’s one of these two things in the world which has been created in here. Not in the real world.

BobbyBiscuits · 29/06/2024 15:01

He's married most probably. It's a way of trying to cheat without him risking anything, but you'll risk your job. What a sleaze bag.
Just be professional only next time you see him. Just take the tips, not anything else!

LurkingInTheDark · 29/06/2024 15:08

@Mangococktail don’t take his details off the system but try to get in contact (Tuesday?!?! - waiting for the update).

Then you can also come back a bit later and tell us who was right. Those who came up with the scenarios where he is a sleaze, cheat, etc. or those that thought he might be geniune.

I can see why he tried to leave his details the way he did. Also he might not be thinking now he wants to marry you and have kids with you, and maybe he doesn’t ever want that, but all that you can find out with time as you get to know each other more.

PurpleyDog · 29/06/2024 15:32

BobbyBiscuits · 29/06/2024 15:01

He's married most probably. It's a way of trying to cheat without him risking anything, but you'll risk your job. What a sleaze bag.
Just be professional only next time you see him. Just take the tips, not anything else!

Please explain how it’s a way of him trying to cheat. If a man wants to cheat, he will cheat and it will have nothing to do as to whether the woman gives him his number first.

CheeseWisely · 29/06/2024 16:14

BobbyBiscuits · 29/06/2024 15:01

He's married most probably. It's a way of trying to cheat without him risking anything, but you'll risk your job. What a sleaze bag.
Just be professional only next time you see him. Just take the tips, not anything else!

Yep, because Men who are looking to cheat often spend the 6 nights they are staying in a hotel pussy-footing around before leaving the ball in the Woman's court (or thinking they have) and leaving.

If he was the kind of sleaze who was looking to cheat he'd have asked OP up to his room, or made some tenuous excuse to hint that she should come up to his room, or 'joked' that she should come up to his room, long before now.

daisychain01 · 29/06/2024 16:21

XiCi · 29/06/2024 13:08

Hmm. I must admit that if I had to make a list of ideal attributes for a boyfriend, being well informed of data privacy in the 21st century probably would even make the top 1000 😆

Show quote history

maybe not, but having common sense, integrity and respect towards others' privacy which is what the Data Protection Act 2018 is there to control for, is definitely top of my list of attributes. The fact they didn't join the dots that there are compliance issues and they can't just say "Do it because I say so" is a red flag.

Just because someone doesn't get found out, shouldn't be a reason to do wrong. Just the same as being in the corner shop, you could probably nick a bar of chocolate and not get caught, but many people know it's wrong because they have an internal moral compass that kicks in. Clearly the man concerned couldn't see anything wrong in encouraging someone to do something inappropriate which is a turn off in my view. But hey we're all different and we all have different red lines.

Original poster
Mangococktail · 29/06/2024 16:23

I've just got my shifts for next week. I'm off on Tuesday.

So my entirely sensible plan to just wait see if he showed up on Tuesday isn't going to work.

Going for wine with a friend now. I'm pretty pissed off. My hotel is in the middle of nowhere. No chance of being "in the area" without it looking odd.

Best chance is to tell a colleague they can tell him ill be disappointed I missed him.

Damn my manager!!!

OP posts:
TroysMammy · 29/06/2024 16:35

You could give permission for your friend to give him your number, that is If he asks about you of course.

CheeseWisely · 29/06/2024 16:36

@daisychain01 Honestly, you're massively over-estimating the average person's knowledge (or depth of caring) about GDPR, especially if their job role doesn't involve client data, which many don't.

It's not a huge stretch for a layperson to think the verbal 'yes you have my permission' that allows someone to add you to a mailing list would also allow someone to use your email address to contact you.

CheeseWisely · 29/06/2024 16:54

TroysMammy · 29/06/2024 16:35

You could give permission for your friend to give him your number, that is If he asks about you of course.

This. If you think there's someone working Tuesday that he might ask if you're around, get them to say 'she's not working but she left this for you' and leave your number.

Honestly what's the worst that could happen? He turns out to be a sleaze, you sack him off.

Ivehearditbothways · 29/06/2024 17:00

Swap shifts with someone! (because we all want to know which side is right, even thought this is your actual real life.. so sorry!)

TheSquareMile · 29/06/2024 17:01

Mangococktail · 29/06/2024 16:23

I've just got my shifts for next week. I'm off on Tuesday.

So my entirely sensible plan to just wait see if he showed up on Tuesday isn't going to work.

Going for wine with a friend now. I'm pretty pissed off. My hotel is in the middle of nowhere. No chance of being "in the area" without it looking odd.

Best chance is to tell a colleague they can tell him ill be disappointed I missed him.

Damn my manager!!!

@Mangococktail

As he gave you a gift, could you write a small Thank You card and leave it at the desk, should he ask after you?

Could you put your number in the card and then see whether he gets in touch?

MissIndecisive2023 · 29/06/2024 17:01

Is it a sackable offence to give your number to a customer?

It would be at my place of work.

Original poster
Mangococktail · 29/06/2024 17:03

I like the idea I could leave my number with the guy who will be on lunch. I get on really well with this guy. He's kind and would do it. He's a bit of a big brother to me at work.

Only if the guy asks after me though.

My friend suggested that we could go for lunch there....of course if guest doesn't show all my colleagues will think I'm v sad and desperate!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mangococktail · 29/06/2024 17:14

MissIndecisive2023 · 29/06/2024 17:01

Is it a sackable offence to give your number to a customer?

It would be at my place of work.

No. In fact we have one regular who dated the last two receptionists.

I've told my manager I like this guest. I've been open about it.

OP posts:
CheeseWisely · 29/06/2024 17:19

Leave your number OP!

FWIW I come at this from a position of having not 1 but 2 ex-colleagues who are now happily married to people they met through work.

One was a client that started as phone conversations and ended with them having two kids and living on the other side of the world, another with a business partner she met at a trade fair, snagged his business and then snagged him.

oakleaffy · 29/06/2024 17:28

@Mangococktail I told your situation to a male today, and the first thing he said was ''He's married, he wants to get OP to look up his number then if caught, he can swear that OP was chasing him, and he had nothing to do with it.

He's sure the bloke will be back, though as he gave a present and a'generous' tip.

gardenmusic · 29/06/2024 17:31

Stravaig · Today 14:04
This thread is fascinating.

The default MN clamour is to insist that only anonymised information is held on hotel registration systems, with access tightly controlled and monitored, to protect female guests from any potentially predatory staff.

Flip the sexes, throw in a possible romance, and some people lose their good sense.

Precisely.

gardenmusic · 29/06/2024 17:38

CheeseWisely · Today 16:36
Honestly, you're massively over-estimating the average person's knowledge (or depth of caring) about GDPR, especially if their job role doesn't involve client data, which many don't.

It's not a huge stretch for a layperson to think the verbal 'yes you have my permission' that allows someone to add you to a mailing list would also allow someone to use your email address to contact you.

But why did he not just give her his number - why make her look it up, and make the call?
If someone wanted to go out with me, and told me to look up his number, I would find that very strange.
It smacks of 'your fault, you came after me'