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Original poster

Hotel guest asking me to steal his number

442 replies

Mangococktail · 28/06/2024 21:30

I work on a hotel front desk at an upmarket hotel. Love my job.

We had a guest check in for two nights. We hit it off. He extended his stay by two more nights then another night then another.

We chatted lots including for 3 hours straight one night when I came off shift. My colleagues know I've never done anything like this before...I liked him.

When he left he tipped big and gave me a small personal gift that he knew I'd like.

He said he'd come back for lunch on Tuesday. I said well if I'm not here I hope you enjoy it. I don't know my shifts.

He then asked me to keep in touch and said I could get his number off the booking system. I told him I absolutely couldn't do that.

He said I could as he'd just given me permission.

We really got on and I'd like to see him again but I really can't be taking guests numbers off the system.

Why not just give me his number??
What do you all think?

OP posts:
Mrsknowitall · 29/06/2024 10:20

He has a partner, and don’t want to give you his number directly so if he is caught out he can say “I didn’t give her my number, she got it from the booking system” so then it looks like it is you who made the move on him and he was just being friendly by replying to you

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 29/06/2024 10:21

Mangococktail · 28/06/2024 21:42

Yes. Also we are a small hotel. Not a big chain. I can see this pov and it's maybe a coy way of saying he'd like to hear from me. But if that is the case I hope he'll realise I just can't do that. I would get sacked.

Show quote history

What I'm saying is that I'm betting he doesn't realise it would be a sackable offence, or wrong in any way, since he's actually asked you to, or given you permission. It wouldn't have occurred to me, as a guest, to think it's a no-no. But reading these posts, I'm now educated :)

NoSnowdrop · 29/06/2024 10:23

so much doesn’t add up, you were at your place of work, random guy you’ve just met gets you thoughtful yet hard to find gift that’s exactly what you wanted, flirted and chatted for hours with you, didn’t give you his number or any way of contacting him yet he suggested you look up his details on your work system when that’s not allowed. End of story.

sounds like an utter love bomber/fantasist/player/oddball to me, sorry OP.

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Bobbotgegrinch · 29/06/2024 10:26

You mucked up here. The thing to do when he said "Get my number off the system" was to say "Oh I can't do that, here take mine instead"

Instead, he thinks you're not interested, because you brushed him off and hid from him.

Moveoverdarlin · 29/06/2024 10:28

Ivehearditbothways · 29/06/2024 00:21

I feel like I’ve stepping through the looking glass into some insane world. I mean, mumsnet can be a bit mad with not answering the door, not walking through woodland, not answering the phone… there is a lot of weird stuff in forums but this is something else.

Seriously OP, do not let the man hating paranoia on this forum steer you. The guy gave all indication of being genuine albeit a bit nervous about how to say goodbye. A person who never has to think about GDPR or protocols wouldn’t consider it when saying that you’ve got their number so give them a call. It’s a bit weird that you went off and hid after he said it’s fine because you’ve got permission; because he really thought it was fine. You should have said that it’s a sackable offence even with permission so you can’t access it, but he could write it down himself.

It really sounds like a miscommunication, he was trying to be all easy about it and let you decide if you wanted to continue talking, and he really didn’t realise the rules were so strict.

The replies on here are what’s odd. It’s a bit of an echo chamber and posters rile each other up and all sense is lost.

He wants to see you again, you got no funny vibes from him, you enjoyed his company. There is nothing weird here. He really thought the number thing would be a non-issue. That’s my take on it. In your shoes, I wouldn’t have gone off the hide at the safe, i’d have just asked for his number during the conversation.

I agree with this. I’m really hoping it’s genuine. I get why the police or teacher couldn’t look up details but I would have no idea it would be such a biggie to get his phone number off the system. He could just be nervous and thinks ‘well she’s got my number, if she’s interested she’ll call.’

Can’t you do a bit of good old fashioned googling and Facebook stalking to find out if he’s married and if everything he said is true? So Google his name, is he on the company website? Try his number in WhatsApp, is his profile picture of him and a woman? Look up his address on Google Earth? Is it a bachelor pad or a family home? Is there a trampoline in the garden? I know people will say I sound unhinged but when I was dating, I would do my research first before meeting someone. You’re protecting yourself.

I’m not suggesting donning a Mac and following the guy, but with a few clicks on your phone, I’m sure you could find a bit of info.

Can’t you arrange it so you’re in the hotel on Tuesday?

fancylemons · 29/06/2024 10:32

Tell us which hotel op and we’ll make sure to be there on Tuesday if you can’t. We’ll sort this out. 😂

Choochoo21 · 29/06/2024 10:43

If he wanted to get to know you better then he would have given you his number/asked for yours without a second thought.

This is obviously not his first time (I wouldn’t know you could get the number off the system) and he wants you to do the chasing.

Sounds like he’s looking for an ego boost.

Instead of just slipping you a piece of paper with his number on, he wants you to go out of your way to find his number on the system (risking your job) and then message him.

I think you’ve dodged a bullet.

Tigerstripe20 · 29/06/2024 10:49

If he genuinely wanted to see you he would just have given you his number directly, not messing about with you accessing it off the system and potentially losing your job.

I also worked in a hotel 30 years ago , way before cell phones and had a long relationship with a regular guest who worked around the world back in the old days when you used to write to people ! ( we never acted inappropriately in the hotel as I had a rented house away from the business) nearly a year in , he didn’t arrive for a booking , his crew told me it was because his wife was having a baby .

i was young ( early 20s) and never once ever got an inkling he was married , I am not proud of it but genuinely he was so good at the life it never crossed my mind,

it happens Op ( a lot) if he is genuine he will be back .

KeyInALock · 29/06/2024 10:53

Wow, MN can be a weird place!
I think the guy is 100% genuine.
He doesn't get (nor would I) the rules on data protection, simple as that.
I suggest you message him on FB. Keep it polite and see if he is still keen on meeting again.
The chance of him being the serial killer (or whatever else has been suggested on here) is laughable.
He just sounds like a genuine guy who maybe lacks a bit of dating confidence - like you!

Safewater · 29/06/2024 10:55

I'd go with your gut, you had good vibes. See if he turns up for lunch.
Obviously don't look up his number, but I don't think it was a powerplay, just a way of making your parting seem more casual in case you were going to knock him back. I'm Mrs Cynical usually, but I'd give this one a chance.

Original poster
Mangococktail · 29/06/2024 10:57

fancylemons · 29/06/2024 10:32

Tell us which hotel op and we’ll make sure to be there on Tuesday if you can’t. We’ll sort this out. 😂

I need you guys honestly!!

Really appreciate all the advice from all perspectives

OP posts:
Choochoo21 · 29/06/2024 10:58

KeyInALock · 29/06/2024 10:53

Wow, MN can be a weird place!
I think the guy is 100% genuine.
He doesn't get (nor would I) the rules on data protection, simple as that.
I suggest you message him on FB. Keep it polite and see if he is still keen on meeting again.
The chance of him being the serial killer (or whatever else has been suggested on here) is laughable.
He just sounds like a genuine guy who maybe lacks a bit of dating confidence - like you!

Who wouldn’t know that taking a customers number and messaging them is not allowed.

How many threads have there been about work men messaging OPs and posters telling them to report them to their boss.

All he had to do was ask for OPs number or write his number down and pass it to her.

If he’s genuine then he’ll leave his number on Tuesday.

Shoshoa · 29/06/2024 11:03

Mumsnet is crazy. So many bitter women who go straight to the absolute worst possible motivation a man might have. You have to wonder if that attitude feeds into the experiences those women then have with men.

OP, hopefully he comes back Tuesday for lunch. If he does, you'll chat because he clearly wants that. Tell him "I'd probably get sacked if I took your contact details off the computer, but here's my number" and give it to him. See where it goes. Life is too short to not take a chance on a meaningful connection just because there's a chance his behaviour could have been nefarious. Go for a coffee or something and assess further. Like people used to do....

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 29/06/2024 11:04

I just love the fact that this man, and the OP, and the hotel will be outed by his DOG.

Priceless. It’s even better than the gazillion threads where the OP coyly discusses her DH’s “hobby” as if it’s ostrich racing or extreme ironing when we all know it’s either cycling or golf.

VivX · 29/06/2024 11:07

He likes you but seemingly not enough to go to the effort of actually giving you his number.

mnahmnah · 29/06/2024 11:08

According to mumsnet, meeting a guy online is dodgy. Meeting them at work is dodgy. All men are married or lying or cheaters or narcissists. It’s a wonder anyone meets someone if we followed all the mumsnet advice.

HateMyselfToo · 29/06/2024 11:11

He knows where you work. If it's meant to be, HE can make the effort to get in touch.

Stravaig · 29/06/2024 11:17

All this talk of internet stalking and manufacturing 'chance' encounters is reminding me of a fabulous eldery Frenchwoman I met in Paris decades ago. She declared, while recounting tales of international adventure — Never run after men or buses! My seventeen-year-old self took it to heart.

Giving you his business card with his personal number written on the back and a specification invitation to connect personally outside of work would be a minimum required investment for me. Bare minimum.

XiCi · 29/06/2024 11:17

Bit late now but if I liked him I'd have just said 'I can't take your number from the system but here's mine', and written it down for him. I hope he turns up on Tuesday OP and you get some sort of resolution

FuppinNora · 29/06/2024 11:20

What I find hard to believe is he lives 45 mins away and checked in for 6 nights...

Original poster
Mangococktail · 29/06/2024 11:22

FuppinNora · 29/06/2024 11:20

What I find hard to believe is he lives 45 mins away and checked in for 6 nights...

He checked in for 2 nights then kept extending

I only found out on the 5tuhday he lived so close, which I found funny. We aren't a cheap hotel!

OP posts:
Aliensinnit · 29/06/2024 11:24

HateMyselfToo · 29/06/2024 11:11

He knows where you work. If it's meant to be, HE can make the effort to get in touch.

This. He's 45 minutes away - my commute is longer than that. He can call the hotel and ask you out for a drink after work, easy as that. Maybe he will once he's had a few days to think. Maybe he won't.

Don't risk your job to chase after him. Keep your boundaries. If it's meant to be, it will work out.

TheIceQween · 29/06/2024 11:25

“Instead we talked about his godsons, the hotel”

His godsons…

Abitorangelooking · 29/06/2024 11:26

FuppinNora · 29/06/2024 11:20

What I find hard to believe is he lives 45 mins away and checked in for 6 nights...

I think that depends on what you do for work. If it's all going on expenses and you don't have spouse/ kids then it's quite nice to check in, clean sheets, 3 meals a day, someone else picks up the tab.

TheIceQween · 29/06/2024 11:29

Also.. “Then said he was taking the dog fir a walk but would be back.”

Who was looking after his dog the whole time he was staying in the hotel? This guy has a wife

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