Hotel guest asking me to steal his number

[Mangococktail]

I work on a hotel front desk at an upmarket hotel. Love my job.

We had a guest check in for two nights. We hit it off. He extended his stay by two more nights then another night then another.

We chatted lots including for 3 hours straight one night when I came off shift. My colleagues know I've never done anything like this before...I liked him.

When he left he tipped big and gave me a small personal gift that he knew I'd like.

He said he'd come back for lunch on Tuesday. I said well if I'm not here I hope you enjoy it. I don't know my shifts.

He then asked me to keep in touch and said I could get his number off the booking system. I told him I absolutely couldn't do that.

He said I could as he'd just given me permission.

We really got on and I'd like to see him again but I really can't be taking guests numbers off the system.

Why not just give me his number??
What do you all think?

Same thing as many of the PP here are saying. But does he represent every men or is it more representation of his character?

Is that the manager who took you out to dinner a couple of months ago? And was grumpy afterwards?

Four months ago you mean? No.

Exactly this. I asked my husband and his first thought was the guy probably doesn’t want to face the rejection of giving his number and OP not getting in touch so has left it to OP to decide.

Well that's settled then, you spoke to 'a male' and he gave his judgement on the matter. If only you could have saved everyone the trouble of commenting on this thread by posting on page one.

If he’s unsure whether you want to see him, then he’s left the ball in your court. Not all men are confident enough to “go the extra mile”.

Hopefully, he’ll get your message on Tuesday.

Forget it and move on.

@Mangococktail I'm a cynical person but don't see massive red flags from hour post. Iv it's meant to be he will come back or fjnd a way to get in touch. I hope he works up a courage.
Ps have you tried to look him up on social media?

Isn't it possible he doesn't know his number off the top of his head? Maybe he didn't understand.

Cus he's a nob ed OP

It could be a trap. He’d have leverage on you and take could lead down a very dodgy path. Never do anything for anyone if you know it’s wrong.

Ahh sorry Op but he’s asked you to do this to see how much ‘power’ he has achieved over you. Its likely a game he plays with attractive women. A very manipulative vain man who likely gets off on control. Do not give him the satisfaction of thinking of it further. He may well come back and try again. It’s sport for him. If I’m wrong then he will give you his number freely when you explain his request is beneath your integrity. You did exactly the right thing. You’re a credit to your job.

Reading all the comments through this is what I think now.

I'm not going to let what other men in strangers' lives or even my own dictate my behaviour.

I'm going to trust my instincts and his behaviour as observed over 6 days inform my action.

I'm don't know him. I have no reason to assume horrible things about me and if he did about me, I'd think that terribly unhealthy.

I'd like to get to know him and I'm not going to let this opportunity pass.

Seeing g him outside of work will let me get a better judge of him.

Asking if he wants to do this is the only way now to know if he is interested in that.

I won't be there when he next visits. I can't rely on a colleague to pass on messages nor is that professional.

I'm going to ask him for lunch. Not at the hotel.

Obviously you have googled, social media searched. Yes????

@Mangococktail

Excellent news. How? Without breaching the whole GDPR thing?

Absolutely. Give him the benefit of the doubt. He did one odd thing, maybe he was nervous, he was in and out packing his car, he sat in the car for 15 minutes before leaving. Maybe trying to pluck up the courage??
How are you going to ask him though if you’re not taking his number from work? It’s. It worth losing your job over.

So you mean you are going to take his phone number from the hotel system and risk your job?
I mean, fair enough, you're going to trust your instincts and ask him out etc., but you really shouldn't be breaching GDPR protocols to do this.
What's your plan? How are you going to ask him?

It's incredibly odd why he didn't pass over hos business card

Why don’t you just tip up on Tuesday if you’re not working and hand him your number ?

How are you going to contact him?

In my time there no staff member has ever turned up off duty.

The hotel is very remote.

I feel turning up would make a massive announcement to everyone including him. Plus use up a day off that could be better spent.

He’s an idiot. And if he’s that interested why didn’t he ask for YOUR number??

I know.

I guess what I'm thinking is he did very clearly ask me to. So morally it isn't wrong.

I'm also thinking that only he will know. And he's not going to complain.

It's not ideal.

Sorry but you're an idiot for doing that. You've already discussed this with your manager. You've no idea what systems access records exist. It's gross misconduct.

I thought you had found him on social media? Can't you use LinkedIn? Or his business contact details?

He wants you to chase after him by finding his number rather than him giving it to you so he can convince himself it wasn’t his fault/responsibility if you have sex - possibly because he’s married, possibly because he’s just a twat. That way he gets to be the ‘passive’ person and in his mind you are responsible for whatever he pulls later. Maybe I’m old fashioned but in my experience if a man is bothered about you he will make an effort. The fact this man doesn’t want to make even minimal effort to have a relationship with you is saying nothing good about him.