Husband said 'nice comb-over' to a man at a work drinks event

[Ramsgarthy]

My husband was at a networking drinks event for lawyers last night in London.

He is from Northern Ireland and when another man heard his voice, they said to him, 'you sound like you should be on Crimewatch'.

I understand that this was meant to be a joke (the idea being that he sounds like he's from the IRA). it is not a great joke.

But my husband replied sarcastically, 'nice comb-over', referring to the man's attempt to cover up his bald patch.

The man replied, 'now you're getting personal'.

No drinks had been had at this stage.

I think my husband's reply about the comb-over was unkind and uncalled for, because it was about his personal appearance, and would make him feel self-conscious. Do others agree?

@CurlewKate Agree with this

Good for your dh. The bloke was an offensive arse.

Old mate fucked around and found out. Nice come back from hubby.

DH did well.

They both sound like children but the bald guy got what he deserved really.

Both were wrong but the first guy was worse. I think it's one of those moments for your DH when you just come out with any comeback and then think of a much cleverer one 5 minutes later. The first guy definitely needed to be called out.

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Same fucking signs every time

This definitely! The icing on the cake is that comb over guy will probably be seething about the comment made to him long after your husband has forgotten all about it 😂 Every time he looks in the mirror he will be reminded of it!

What do you think your dh should of said in reply then op?

The other guy's comment was WAY worse.

The other man got what he deserved for his xenophobic comment to your husband

Sorry, but this has tickled me! 🤣🤣

The other guy was fucking racist. How is your voice or saying you come across like a criminal on any planet not 'personal'?

I'm guessing you are not Irish from your blase response and placing the blame in the wrong place.

It's not 'just a joke' ffs. If someone had said your Muslim friend should be 'on crimewatch' because he looks like a 'terrorist bomber' would you think its just a 'joke'. No someones ass would be getting hauled to HR but its the exact same level of 'joke'.

I think you are minimising what the first man said. That was FAR worse. Have your DH’s back.
In my opinion, people shouldn’t dish out what they can’t take.

I'm baffled as to why the OP doesn't see how offensive the combover guy was being. That was not as cruel a reply as it could reasonably have been.

I think people often don't see prejudice, or give the prejudiced the benefit of the doubt when they shouldn't - it's only banter; he calls everybody something, it's not personal; he's your manager so you should keep your head down.

No. It needs ending!

If anything your DH was quite restrained. The first guys comment was completely and utterly inappropriate. Imagine if your DH was Muslim and the guy had made a similar type of joke. That would have have been glaringly racist, yet because your DH is Irish he is supposed to just take abusive comments with class? You really should have your DH's back on this one and it's sad that you prefer to side with a complete stranger who abused your DH unprovoked.

The 'Now you're getting personal' response shows how insensitive and arrogant the guy was towards someone he had only just met.

He thinks it's OK to imply IRA connections to someone from NI but a reference to his hair is somehow more personal!

Let's hope your husband's quick response has had an effect and the idiot won't be such a smart aleck in future.

Don't give it if you can't take it 🤷‍♀️

I'd like Mrs Comb-over to start a thread about her DH being insulted by a mean Ulsterman at a lawyer's drinks do!

I agree. Your DH's reply was quite appropriate!

Well if you can't take it don't dish it out as they say.

Isn't that a bit like saying to a person with a German accent 'you sound like you should be being tried for war crimes'? Except arguably worse, given that IRA stuff is within living memory.

Sure, your husband probably 'should have' taken it on the nose and not responded in kind, but it was such a rude and unnecessary thing for that man to say to him.

I think they're both as bad as each other.

Far better to have called out the first man for his comment than to have made an equally nasty comment. Lost any kind of moral high ground.

The man's comment is indicative of the kind of prejudice Irish people have been subjected to for donkeys. Would you feel that a 'joke' about any other ethnicity would be OK? Or is it only OK because he's Irish?

In what was is an equation of someone’s ethnicity with membership of a violent terrorist organisation equivalent to mocking someone’s bald patch?