Husband said 'nice comb-over' to a man at a work drinks event

[Ramsgarthy]

My husband was at a networking drinks event for lawyers last night in London.

He is from Northern Ireland and when another man heard his voice, they said to him, 'you sound like you should be on Crimewatch'.

I understand that this was meant to be a joke (the idea being that he sounds like he's from the IRA). it is not a great joke.

But my husband replied sarcastically, 'nice comb-over', referring to the man's attempt to cover up his bald patch.

The man replied, 'now you're getting personal'.

No drinks had been had at this stage.

I think my husband's reply about the comb-over was unkind and uncalled for, because it was about his personal appearance, and would make him feel self-conscious. Do others agree?

I am sorry that feminism has died apparently.

Though I am not sure I believe it. A man has his ego hurt and responds in a way that bring his wife into it and that is OK? Even most men have some idea that this is not OK. It is only Stepford wives that go along with it.

Are you on the wrong thread?

As an Irish person who worked in London, works with English people, and whose husband met English people for business this very much happens. Most of the time we ignore it, laugh it off, or it it’s outrageous like the OP, we give a zinger back.

This scenario happens regularly, enough for most Irish to have experienced it. Generally you’d expect educated types to know better. And it’s become a lot better.

The worst for Paddywhackery are the Americans, they’re harmless and mean no harm, though. Like the woman in Deep South America who got an entire bar to touch my husband for luck. Pure Nutsville.

pppp

I think you're a bit confused about what happened.
He didn't bring his wife into it.

You do know to English people it matters not a whit whether it’s NI or the Republic, we are all the same. Even if they could make out an Ulster accent from a Dublin one, you really think they’d know the difference between a Donegal or Derry one.

As for terrorists, shure we all know all the Irish support the IRA, nobody on here knows who on earth you could possible mean. Same as Saddam Hussein of Iraq, was responsible for 9/11, except he wasn’t, it was the Saudis.

Fun fact for you: what was the most googled word after Theresa May promised a billion to NI?

Hint: a political party nobody has ever heard of before, living in a part of the UK that many don’t even realise exists as part of the U.K.

What on earth are you talking about?!

The comprehension skills on here are diabolical at times.

Bloke was a racist dick but while he went low your H should have gone high and humiliated him instead.
It made them both look like idiots having a bit of banter rather than one idiot being rude

fEMinISm HaS DIeD...because a man chose not to meekly accept xenophobia.

Do you know what any of the words you type actually mean?

Unless we object to these erroneous beliefs people will continue to think them unchallenged.

There's no harm in questioning people's assumptions on a thread like this. Maybe one or two will even look things up to see what I meant.

I wouldn't be able to accurately identify a Donegal vs Derry accent either to tell the truth. Doesn't mean I don't know where they're located and the relevance of that.

@Wellfancythis how the fuck did he bring his wife into this?

Your view of feminism is strange , considering you assume a woman has to feel responsible and ashamed of her husband's actions (regardless whether they are right or wrong).

I'm starting to think that @Wellfancythis is an AI chatbot having a hallucination.

A xenophobic comment is also personal

Are you fucking KIDDING?!!!

What a great wife you are, OP.

Real supportive 🙄

NTA - he retaliated, don’t give it if you can’t take it

If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen!

Good on your husband for giving it back

Ouch. There are better retorts than your husband’s, but combover guy was unbelievably rude!! I’m quite literally flabbergasted that any adult would say that to someone they’ve just met. Maybe hubby could have been more mature in his response but I think many would have struggled to not flare up faced with that, and you should have his back.

I say well done to your husband!!! The other person started it and the quote he made could be construed as really offensive, potentially prejudice and stereotypical. The IRA and the troubles are serious and northern Irish people are very sensitive about it all which is understandable. It was a very hard time for those experiencing it. I would say if your husband is a person of colour and was from war torn country it would very much be unacceptable and racist if that comment was made.
So I say well done to your husband and good on him! Hopefully, it will may make the other person think twice about making those types of remarks x

Your husband was absolutely right to retaliate. There was no need at all for the Crimewatch comment.

My husband is also from NI and it’s surprising how many inappropriate Irish jokes or insults are made especially regarding IRA etc. It’s really not a joke for many that grew up there in the troubles and highly offensive. Maybe your husband has had enough. Good on him I say.

Jesus Wept and you are his wife ? Clearly not long enough to know the absolute insult that was given to your husband on UK soil. The other person was totally out of order and I'm Southern Irish. No way in hell should that be an acceptable comment and I would be very surprised if that person hasn't had feedback already from his employers. I take it your husband is younger than the person who said it (Crime Watch was taken off air years ago) and within his rights to shut him down. Grow up, learn history and most important of all have a conversation with your husband as to how he actually felt - he's out of NI living in London and got hit with this kind of shit. He's not on his own territory - you clearly have no idea how cut throat it is in the the UK - I think his response was awesome - he will go far. Whether it is with you at his side further down the line is another matter. NI and SI are notorious in remembering when we have been let down.

I was in my 20's in the UK when someone did something similar to me to try and get a leg up - thankfully I had a boss who saw through the charade and saw the person out of his office and that person lost the company's business.

I also used to work at one of the biggest law firms in London - I know how hard they work - the 24 hours they can go without sleep when a big case is on. Your lack of support for your husband astounds me unless you have another motive and need to find reasons to get out for whatever reason. If that is the case, then here is not your answer.

The point everyone seems to have missed is that banter only works if you already have a friendly relationship with a person. My friends used to comment that I looked like Gerry Adams because of my black beard and glasses and make comments on similar lines but the point is that they were close colleagues, not complete strangers. I think the best thing, if you cannot come up with a witty comment, is to ignore the supposed joke as other people present, besides yourself, may have recognosed that it was in bad taste and tgink less of the person who said it.

thats quite the stretch…. Well done on coming up with the most ridiculous interpretation to pretend it wasn’t a racist comment.

Are you serious OP, the other guy started it so don’t blame your husband. Both comments were very personal weren’t they. So no I don’t think your DH is in the wrong.

Is OP actually coming back to respond to any of the points anyone has made??

Everyone hasn’t missed the point,we get that banter is good natured & mutual. This wasn’t banter