Can 70 year old parents look after babies?

[PatRey]

I’m expecting my first child and my parents are late 60s and 70 and super keen to be involved however they can. I have no frame of reference but can my 70 year old mum realistically have the baby for a weekend when the time comes? They are both relatively fit, dog walks, gardening etc. my dad is still working in a physical job. I’m just trying to manage my own expectations of what is realistic as I know friends with younger parents say their parents find it difficult.

A boy I know had to call an ambulance for his grandad .Very sadly Grandad didn’t make it . The boy concerned is now an adult and seems to be doing well in his life , i find it hard to imagine how that must have felt though . It certainly impacted my decisions though on who looked after DC

While a baby - fine, They stay where you put them! Toddlers into everything and no sense of danger maybe not…it’s a big shock to the system when you've not recently spent time with young kids how much work is involved! Maybe a few hours/occasional overnight will be okay but weeks of childcare is a big ask.

My super fit 64 year old step mum would possibly cope for a night with a young baby or child, my 75 year old absolutely would not although he is very active. When my brother stays with his three for a few nights they find it exhausting and they are 14, 12 and 9.
Shorter periods is probably more realistic, and you are unlikely to want your baby away from you for longer than that for longer than you think too. As your parents get older and your child heads into toddler years it will get harder for them as well.

See how it goes. that's the thing with people, they're unpredictable.
I tried but realised quickly DC grandparents, although willing, cannot be trusted with this, they wouldn't know what to do in an emergency, and could even get hurt by running /trying to entertain. They're also overenthusiastic so tend to give massive choke hazard chunks of food that an adult would struggle with. Also, you might find your bond with baby means you don't want baby out of sight at all. If you want to have any expectations, just have zero expectation.

I'm finding now DC is 5, I can leave them to it more and more.

Mine looked after my daughter when she was just under 2 for nearly a week (I had work travel). They were 71. Absolutely no problem and my daughter was an an active toddler, fast runner, always moving. My mother-in-law was 60 at the time and had no interest.

My mum and dad have just turned 70 and tire very easily, they can look after kids for a few hours but are exhausted after! My Dad swims every morning and my mums fairly fit and well but small kids that their toll.

I think that's quite old to expect them to look after a baby for a weekend. Or a toddler. Maybe as child gets older and calms down you can do a grandma sleepover.

My parents and ILs are in 70s and are OK with my teens but would struggle with a baby.

My mum is 65 and my dad is 70. They have looked after all four of my nieces one day a week from when the mother’s mat leave ended until they started school. My youngest niece is 22 months old and because it is the school holidays they are also looking after her six year old sister and they can manage this easily between them. They have however a few times due to a weddings and work commitments for my brother and sister in law had both girls for the weekend Friday-Sunday. They managed but both were tired by the time the girls were picked up on Sunday. My mum in particular as she got up for the night feeds.

It's not just the physical health, it's the patience, risk assessment and mental resilience that makes a difference with older babies/toddlers.

It's one thing chasing them around, it's another answering "why" a million times, dealing with tantrums etc.

My son's great grandfather tuts and fusses if my son does perfectly normal baby fusses. My dad loves playing with and helping with my son, but if the baby is overwrought my dad just melts down trying to sooth him. I've witnessed MIL hit her own seven YO in the past when drunk when he was being a bit daft/whiny.