Can 70 year old parents look after babies?

[PatRey]

I’m expecting my first child and my parents are late 60s and 70 and super keen to be involved however they can. I have no frame of reference but can my 70 year old mum realistically have the baby for a weekend when the time comes? They are both relatively fit, dog walks, gardening etc. my dad is still working in a physical job. I’m just trying to manage my own expectations of what is realistic as I know friends with younger parents say their parents find it difficult.

My mum was adamant she wanted to look after ds for a weekend but whenever she babysat she would call me to come get him after 2 hours so don't bank on it!

Yes, my 70 year old mum is more capable than my DH tbh

My parents are 71 and 72 and have looked after my 3 and 6 year old, together, on the odd occasion for one or two nights at a time. They have a day a week with the 3 year old (their choice, we had a nursery place for her) then do the 2 mile round trip school run to get the 6 year old on foot. They manage absolutely fine and adore the children. There is not a hint that they find it too tiring. Unless there is a dramatic change, I imagine they'll be doing the school run/some afternoon childcare for many years to come. They're no less fit than they were 10 years ago.

Totally depends on the person. My MIL is 72 and has our 1 year one a day week, works fine

Depends on the baby.

We did overnights well before 2, DS is 18 months and has had many, many overnights with Grandparents but he’s slept all night since 8 weeks.

It very much depends on how fit and healthy your parents are and the temperament of your child. A fit, active, healthy 70 year old would be fine for a few hours of daytime care. I wouldn't say a whole weekend or evenings/ overnights as babies and young toddlers are up in the night. A placid baby, who feeds well, sleeps well and is generally happy with others will be ok with grandparents for a few hours. A Velcro baby, who doesn't feed well, doesn't settle, needs rocking or patting to sleep is much harder for grandparents to care for.

There is also a stark difference between baby care and toddler care. Babies are generally easy, they don't move far or very fast, they nap so the grandparent can rest, you can take them out for a walk in the pushchair. A toddler is much much harder, especially when they start refusing the pushchair, start resisting naps or parents start asking grandparents to drop naps to make bedtime easier, they start running around at speed, climbing everywhere, have boundless energy and start having tantrums. I know quite a few grandparents at our church playgroup that have found the 18months to 3 phase very very difficult.

8 weeks is very very rare.

My parents are in their 70s and perfectly capable.

They are fit and healthy - still running, can get up and down from the floor easily, fine on the stairs etc (oh how they would laugh to know I had even written that).

They are fine with overnights as they tend to wake up early anyway, and it’s not like it every night!

I have zero concerns.

I suspect it very much depends on your parents health. I know people ten years younger who are far less physically capable.

My parents are 73 and have my kids 7&10 and my sisters kids 4&2 pretty regularly

My friends are mid 50’s and find over nights and weekends with DGC very tiring.

In my world 65 plus is a sensible age to be a grandparent who’s in a position to provide any form of childcare. Grandparents in their 50s are generally still working and I would not ask them to get involved except in emergencies

My DPs had mine got a sat a week in there mid-seventies. They were fine but tired. I never asked them to babysit or do anymore because that was enough.

On the plus side the DC have a fabulous bond with them.

Yes they can.

My twins have slept through since 6 weeks. It doesn't seem to be rare for my DC's.

A whole weekend? Would they even want to?
Age is irrelevant if they are fit and keen. Many grandparents I know have their grandkids a couple days a week while their parents work.
My parents were ten years older than yours when my kids were born. They did the odd evening but a weekend would have been too exhausting.

My parents are 70 and have done daytime childcare for my 18 month old when he's not been able to go to childminder, ie due to hand foot and mouth. They're great with him. I wouldn't want to be away from my DS overnight or for a weekend anyway, but our nights are currently quite wonky and I don't think they could manage the sleep deprivation after being retired and used to plenty of sleep!

As most have said, it depends on the baby / toddler, and it depends on the individual grandparents.
But I'd also add, it depends on the reason / need.
I have lots of friends in their 70s who have kindly taken the grandchildren overnight / 2 days when there is a specific reason - like the parents have been invited to a wedding of someone they are close to - as a one off. They tell their dc / the parents everything was fine, but overwhelmingly they are genuinely exhausted and happy to do it as a one off for a good reason, but that is very different from doing it regularly.
I also have a friend who has her grandchildren overnight, because of the parents' shift work. Again, the 'need' of the parents trumps their exhaustion, in their eyes.

Depends on baby too OP. I don't think it's too old. Play by ear.

Mumsnet is amazing! On one thread there's someone asking is 61 too old to be a mum to a 19 year old and being told no and on this thread it's being asked if 70 is too old to look after babies ( only 9 years later). My brother is 70 and competes in hill running competitions! There's some 40 year olds that I wouldn't want looking after babies! Surely it's a character thing not an age thing?

My parents had DD every day for me to work when they were this age. They loved it.

DM would have been 64 and DF 70

My parents were in their 70s when they looked after baby DD one day a week.
My dad’s now almost 85 and occasionally steps in to look after my 4-year-old nephew but I suspect he’s unusual.

Nor mine. 6 weeks and 8 weeks here.

Yes, mine did as well. As a GP, having looked after GCs, babyhood is easy - toddlers are more difficult.🙂

Age is just a number. It depends entirely on the people

My parents middle 70s absolutely yes. They are fit, healthy and active.

My MIL mid 70s absolutely not. Is frail, lacks strength and simply couldn't manage.

Friend is 72 and full on with grandson care but finds it tiring (he's 3). Maybe for the day but not a weekend unless there's more help from an auntie or uncle.