Can 70 year old parents look after babies?

[PatRey]

I’m expecting my first child and my parents are late 60s and 70 and super keen to be involved however they can. I have no frame of reference but can my 70 year old mum realistically have the baby for a weekend when the time comes? They are both relatively fit, dog walks, gardening etc. my dad is still working in a physical job. I’m just trying to manage my own expectations of what is realistic as I know friends with younger parents say their parents find it difficult.

Yes my mum was 70 when my son was born and took him for the odd weekend and overnight and watched him 2 days a week until he went to nursery at 3. Obviously depends on fitness and health.

My mum is 60 and fit and found my DS quite tiring overnight and he's quite a laid back child. I wouldn't ever doubt her ability though. It's hard to tell until you have the baby anyway. I know if some 70 odd year olds that are doing 2 days a week childcare while some are in wheelchairs tucked up in blankets. It really depends on the person.

You won't want to leave the baby for a whole weekend once it's been born.

If there are two of them then yes of course. They can take turns. If baby is particularly difficult maybe not but you can only decide that closer to the time. I think your problems might be more when baby hits toddler years so if you can get away for a weekend while they still nap a lot and are portable then I would do it.

My ILs helped during the day, not overnights but the biggest issue they had was the constant fussing over nothing. Talking and arguing over and over about a very simple thing like whether to change his T shirt because he spilled something or just wipe it off. That for us was the indication they were ageing rather than physical.

Totally depends on the person. My MIL couldn't. My Auntie is 71 years old and fosters under 5s.

You don't know that, many people do. OP might be fine with it.

This. ^ I would never depend on - or expect - any parent over 55-60 to look after babies/toddlers for more than say, 6-8 hours - and not more than 2 or 3 times a week. And not overnight. It's not fair. People are starting to get more weary and tired and exhausted at that age, and a tiny baby's demands would be too much. In addition, many people - once they reach 50-55, start having health issues.

As for expecting it of a parent of 70+??? No way!

I am nearly 60, and my DD is 31 and she is planning a baby in the next 2 years. I have told her I am more than happy to help her sometimes and will look after the baby while she works. But only on 2 days of the week. The other days she will have to find alternative care, or drop her work days to 2 days (or do 3 or 4 days and look after the baby herself on the 2 days ... she works from home half the time. Though it will be challenge for her to work when the baby is there, it is doable. At least for 1 or 2 days of the week. I am not prepared to look after her child(ren) 5 days a week. Not gonna happen. I will be doing her a HUGE favour doing it 2 days a week.

depends on their health, personality, general views, housing situation, child’s needs and other.
some people are physically ok but absolutely have no way of looking after babies as they are very old fashioned and impatient,

I'll always remember my own DMs friend who had to look after her EBF DGD overnight so her parents could stay in a fancy hotel. She spent the entire night walking the crying baby around her kitchen. That was far too much to ask for outside of an emergency.

It depends entirely on the person. MIL could. One of her sisters fosters and tends to have short term fosters with babies. However, another of her sisters had to recently stop babysitting for her grandchildren as she can’t managed. There are just 4 years between the three of them.

It really depends; my parents could do a day and an overnight but I think a whole weekend would be too much. My in laws can manage one child for a weekend but find it too much with both our DC. It took quite a while for either of my DC to do a full weekend away (18 months or 2 upwards at least) so they’ll know their limitations by then

Unlikely. A whole weekend?

You know them best. It really depends on the individual.

Depends on the baby too. Mine wouldn’t be up and down all night because they have slept through from 8 weeks, 6 weeks & 6 weeks and we did overnights from 6 weeks. DS just needed one bottle overnight at 6 weeks.

my in-laws do 3 days a week with 1-3 kids ranging from 9months - 3 years!

the other day they had 4 kids aged 2,2,3,4!! That was the entire working day (8am/5.30pm).

they are both 61 and 63! They even have the 3 year old living with them full time!

They absolutely love it and have a playroom set up and play equipment in the garden like a nursery!

They had their own childcare business before retiring and now look after their grandkids.

FIL stopped working after the third grandchild was born to assist. They have 5 children and were only on grandbaby number 5. My BIL and his wife are currently trying for kids and they want at least 2. My SIL wants another 2! If everyone has at least 2 kids there will be 10 grandchildren minimum!

wouldn’t be my idea of retirement but each to their own and I can’t complain as it’s saved me £££.

My dm is 70 and df 71. They’d be fine. They will have my 3 dc for a week in the summer and df will take 2 of them wild camping one night while dm and my dc who never wants to camp again will stay home. My dc are 12-16 so obviously different but they are fit and capable. Not sure I’d ever have left a baby with them for a weekend though. Dd1 stayed over night at 18 months and dtds were 3 the first time.

No chance would my mum look after a baby at her age.

When I had mine she was 50 so it was easier.

Though it will be challenge for her to work when the baby is there, it is doable. At least for 1 or 2 days of the week

WFH with a baby present is not allowed. It isn't doable.

The employer pays for their worker's undivided attention
@RedYellowPinkGreenPurpleOrangeBlue

I agree.

Not everyone is the same. I started with overnights then moved to weekends and was perfectly fine with it.

@Pinkfan2024

errr... maybe because that's what the OP asked??

I have no frame of reference but can my 70 year old mum realistically have the baby for a weekend when the time comes?

How do you know what OP will want to do?

some people are physically ok but absolutely have no way of looking after babies as they are very old fashioned and impatient

FFS @pizzaHeart not all elderly people are old fashioned and impatient.

Whyever not? My mum was in her late 60s when my daughter was born and it never occurred to me to think that she might have been too old to look after her. People on Mumsnet are incredibly offensive towards older people. Just because you get to 70 doesn't mean that you suddenly become decrepit. I'm quite sure my mum was fitter at 80 than most people are in their 40s. 🙄🙄🙄

Of course, 70 isn't that old nowadays, most would manage it without batting an eyelid.

Depends on the 60-70 year olds.

My parents are that age now and both have conditions which make them exhausted easily. They are having DC in the holidays for a few days, but I know they will find that tiring and my DC are both teens.

My MIL was 79 when DC one was born and whilst she was a delighted and hugely engaged grandma I never left DC with her alone, it would have been too much.

Mine did, with her younger sister in her mid 60s. Already had a very close relationship with both kids, DS3 and DD1, and Mum and Daunt very fit and active.

Mum announced she’d have DD sleeping though the night by the time I was back (both DCs absolutely terrible sleepers).

I returned to Daunt with a massive black eye from where she’d been playing cricket with DS, an exhausted mum, a DD who still woke in the night and was ready for the day at 5am, and a house full of McDonalds boxes, home made “cakes” and a very full laundry basket. But they had all had a lovely time 😁.