Okay… so what exactly are the sacrifices made for a private school eduction (feel free to scroll past if you don’t want to read another public school one 😉)

[vote4whoeveryouwant]

Yes, know another private school one. But I keep reading about people making huge sacrifices so their children can go to private school but I’d be genuinely interested to know what these are?

I earn pretty well but we only holiday alternate years, don’t have a car and haven’t done anything to our decrepit house for years simply because we don’t have enough leftover after outgoings and all the boring stuff.

My DD has dyslexia and we did look into private school for her as she really struggles but it no matter what way we tried to rework our finances there was no way we could make it work.

Sky TV

I agree “sacrifices” is unhelpful. But we do have to make choices to have our two kids at private school.

The biggest choice is I continue to do a job that is long hours, and very stressful working for leaders whose morals I don’t like because it pays well. And I will continue to do it, when there are other jobs I would much rather do, in to pay the fees.

Most of these aren't "sacrifices" they are "choices".

It's really dramatic to talk in terms of "sacrifice".

We made a choice to pay for private education, and to prioritise spending on that over other things. But that's what it is, a choice. Sacrifice is a heavy load to put on a child.

Plus in what world is buying a "3 year old car" a sacrifice!

I think this thread has ruffled some feathers as it sounds like it’s dissing people who’ve sent their children to private school, but I don’t think it’s that (correct me if I’m wrong op).

I’m assuming this is partly inspired by a thread on here the other week where the op kept insisting that ANYONE could send their DC to private school if they worked hard enough and made enough sacrifices.

Several posters replied saying they were literally living on the poverty line, pointing out that even being in the position of being able to give up enough luxuries to be able to free up thousands of pounds for school fees was a certain level of privilege, but she just keep going on about ‘sacrifices’ and ‘working hard’.

She used her brother as an example as apparently her niece went to private school, but after some questioning about his finances turned out he only had a very small mortgage because an inheritance enabled him to buy his property with a large deposit - so he was benefitting from a level of privilege that wasn’t being acknowledged. I lean, two things can be true at once - you can benefit from family money AND work very hard and deny yourself luxuries.

I think that’s what some people are frustrated about - not the fact that some choose to send their DC to private school (more power to you, we may ending sending our DD depending on which state schools she gets into locally), but the people who insist that anyone who can’t afford it isn't working hard enough and isn't making enough sacrifices, therefore you don’t want it enough for your child.

@Shortfatsuit I agree! I never knew that buying a 3+ year old car was a sacrifice. I thought that was normal!

At the risk of sounding like Rishi's parents, Sky TV. Amongst a lot of other things, my health and sanity.

Not me but my parents, I guess me too to an extent, we lived five of us in a two bedroom flat until I finished school. I shared a room with my grandma and my brother. Never went on a family holiday, don't think my parents ever went away together in those years even. They worked 7 days a week and took only Boxing Day and Christmas Day off.

Exactly, We both work full time, I’ve never had a car that was less than 3 years old and I’m talking about cars like a Nissan Micra equivalent, not SUVs or saloons. We have one UK holiday a year and a tiny house with no garden and we still couldn’t afford to send our kids to private school.

This! To me that’s just life.

No Sky tv. Apparently

Could ask the same question about what sacrifices are made to pay for a good state school education, through buying a house near to one.

In my area, estate agents make a point of highlighting when a house is near a well regarded state school and houses in the roads that are near good state schools cost more than others that are further away.

Lots of people pay for schools. A minority do it through private school fees. Lots more do it through buying a house in the 'right' area.

Hilarious thread.

Think this still happens a lot. A lot of my kids peers have NHS parents. They often work top up unsociable shifts at weekends and holidays I assume in order to pay school fees on top of a full time job.

There are a lot of children (mainly 2nd generation) of immigrants who see it as a family obligation to contribute to school fees. One family I know of has NHS parents doing shifts as above and the grandparents do a lot of free childcare plus still work part time (one as a school cleaner) into their 70’s to help.

Didn't have kids until I was past 30. Moved jobs/country at least every two years to grow salaries until the kids hit mid-primary age, lived in studios and 1-bed flats and with family until my first child was 2, then 2 bed homes in need of work to save money. No holidays, second hand cars (when we had a car - often didn't), Ikea furniture and Asda clothes.

And now I work all hours around the kids to maintain my income (single parent now) whilst still giving them the attention they need.

None of my family and friends would want to swap their lives for mine. We've had the conversations. They like having the same house/job, with nice things that they won't have to leave behind when they move. They like having fixed working hours or being SAHM.

It’s not made up. It’s from the IFS. Some of those will be on bursaries. Those with 3 or more children at private school are in the minority. The majority have 1 or 2 children. Assuming your income is split evenly, you’ll be netting over £70,000 from that salary. There’ll be £3000 child benefit, taking net income to £73,000. There are plenty of schools, certainly at primary level, charging around £13,000 so you could have one child at private school and still be left with £60,000 per year to live on. Most families could live on £5,000 per month. Lots of families are in your financial position but have chosen to have 1 child. Even sending 2 children would leave you with about £4K a month to live on.

Assuming your income is split evenly, you’ll be netting over £70,000 from that salary.

I think the average salary is £35k gross. This couple would probably pay at l ast £14k a year in tax.

Was that so you could go to private school?

Was it worth it?

It seems an unusual set up where you are because our school has an extra seven weeks per year of leave compared to a state school with ten weeks over the summer. There are always clubs and activities for the children though. I agree that most parents take holidays during the additional weeks off that state schools aren’t off, which means those savings would go to the minimal cover of childcare during the holidays.

I don't have kids at a private school (although did go to one myself) however all these comments seem quite alien to what my friends say whose kids are at private schools at the moment.

Nobody seems to go without, in fact it seems quite the opposite. My friends have very well paid jobs and nice cars but are still a world away from most of the other parents they meet up with. It's definitely a case of having the money to pay for the school fees but also needing the money to keep up with the private school life.

Some of the people on this thread seem to have have very frugal lives, not something I saw when I was at school. We weren't super well off but I can't remember anyone who didn't have a large house, nice car and annual holidays although some of the girls in my year had multiples of these.

I agree. People spend several hundreds of thousands more on houses here that are within a certain distance of our local state secondary school purely to have a chance of getting in (and they still need to go to a feeder school for a place).

Without a doubt it’s a privilege to be able to go to the state secondary school because the child’s parents have to be comparatively wealthy for them to get a place. A quick look on Rightmove shows that for the cheapest four bed available you need £600k+ (£12mil less than the most expensive currently for sale with the catchment area of the school).

People don’t tend to discuss what some go without to buy a property close to the state school they want their child to go to. It’s quite normal for many families to make adjustments to their lifestyle to help their children have a better start to life whether it’s education, sports or savings.

(Disclaimer: we have lived here for decades and long before property prices have increased as they have - but yes, still very privileged and lucky).

Figure 5 shows that in FYE 2023, the average (median) household income before housing costs (BHC) was £621 per week (around £32,500 per year). This represented a decrease of 0.5% in real terms, or £3 per week, compared with FYE 2022.

Link:https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/households-below-average-income-for-financial-years-ending-1995-to-2023/households-below-average-income-an-analysis-of-the-uk-income-distribution-fye-1995-to-fye-2023

It depends with regards to child benefit. It’s only been this year that the threshold has increased but many don’t receive it or don’t receive all of it.

Probably because back then the fees were not as high as they are now - having risen 550% in 25 years and wages have not kept up - even for professionals. So some may be from families or professions who would traditionally pay for private school or in areas where state schools are not as good - and therefore 'scrimp and save' to afford it. I agree it is precarious

My friends have just come to the end of years of paying £30k per year in school fees. They have started to renovate their house now, having sacrificed updating their hoise or going abroad doe over ten years to afford the fees.

They have confided that they regret the money they have spent on private education for their DC as they have had to make a lot of sacrifices to pay the feed. They don’t feel it’s added significant or proportionate value to their DC education or lives compared to sending to an excellent local secondary.

You said you earn pretty well. Is your husband a very low earner? If you earn well Im not sure why you cant afford to send one child to private school with some sacrifices. What is your household income?

Sacrifices we make
We have one ancient car.
I try to cycle (over an hour) to work whenever I can to avoid paying £10 on travel.
Cheaper holidays
Just generally sticking to a strict budget and now spending without thinking.