Teaching Assistant yelling at my child...?

[heartbroken22]

Dd 6 came home yesterday bursting out crying and not herself as TA yelled at her quite badly in lesson. This may have been the 5th occasion in the past month she's been picked on but yesterday was quite bad. Her friends had to ask her if she was okay as she was shaken up and humiliated. She said she felt her personal space was invaded and the yelling was quite loud.

Who would I complain too? Would you rather email or phone the school? I don't really want to speak to the teaching assistant directly but maybe someone from safeguarding...

Context is everything. Was she being yelled at because she was about to poke a pencil in someone's eye where the only way to avoid a serious incident is an almighty roar. Was she told 8 times to put something away before the tone was raised and eventually became a shout. Or is the TA aggressive and inappropriate, in which case there will be other kids with similar experiences and it needs dealing with. Either way you need to talk to the school teacher. Don't immediately assume your child's version of events is correct.

@ASighMadeOfStone the TA had reported what she witnessed to the head on many occasions. I did complain to school and to governers and the final incident was physical (he was dragged and locked in the staff room left there over an hour sobbing and banging on the door to be let out) I took that last incident to the LADO as he started wetting the bead having nightmares and was in utter terror of being sent back to school. School outright denied it and I was initially unsure of the truth because children do lie and why would school staff be acting this way? This was the point the TA came up to me and told me what she had witnessed (I was her childminder I don't think she would have told me had she not known me so well). My sons case was complicated as he has significant SEN and is a very challenging child. If he were not my child I would find it hard to like him if I'm honest, caring for him is hard. He requires a lot of support from staff who are already overstretched. Essentially he should never have been in that school, the teacher should never have been put in that position where she was so frustrated by his needs impacting her ability to teach that she let that frustration come out in the treatment of my child.

The school also suspended him the week ofsted came in. Put him in a part time timetable and constantly pressuring me to home educate him. After the physical incident I never sent him back.

You need context.
I also question your language ('picked on').

I have raised my voice and spoken quite sternly to some (5 year-old) children today. I have not shouted or screamed, by the way.

They were:

• throwing sand
• refusing point blank to sit down so the rest of the class could see
• removing food from another child's lunchbox in the cloakroom
• being defiant despite reminders
• talking incessantly during a maths lesson
• tipping pencil pots on to the floor.

Would you take umbrage at any of those?
Like I said ... context.

@sonyo I remember kids being dragged out by their collar by this nasty teacher. I'm sorry that happened to you. Did you ever speak to you parents about it?

Got a call saying they've spoken to the TA and said she was just giving instructions 'loudly'. Daughter said she was much more kinder to her today. Atleast next time she'll think twice about shouting.

@llamajohn yes luckily I did! Felt a bit better clarifying it all.

or maybe she was just giving instructions loudly?

No, she won't think twice about shouting, if she needs to, yes, she will think twice about staying in her job, with complaining parents, so if something better comes along for her she'll be gone, and very unlikely to be replaced too, there are not enough candidates to fill vacancies like this

Jeez. So this person who humiliated and traumatised your child by yelling at them and picking on them?

Were just raising their voice to give clear instructions?

Do you know why she had to speak to your DD 'loudly'? And she didn't shout. Are you going to be that parent?

Not all schools can afford TAs, they are usually the first to go in budget cutting exercises. Also when you can get paid more in a supermarket, and even rude customers are better than children's parents, it's a wonder there are any TAs at all.

Dramatic much

You don’t get ‘trauma’ from somebody shouting

@MaryMaryVeryContrary tell the OP that! I’m not the one making a mountain out of a molehill.

Sorry I misunderstood your post! And concur.

Someone speaking loudly to her is something your child needs to get used to if she doesn't follow instructions.

Maybe just do as she's asked the first time. OP you need to calm down and not blow things out of proportion. You've embarrassed yourself.

The school has rightly backed her up and you think she'll 'think twice'. Plenty of people on this thread have told you that you should be thinking about your dc's behaviour but you just ignore them. I guess you are one of 'those' parents.

Exactly this

Got a call saying they've spoken to the TA and said she was just giving instructions 'loudly'. Daughter said she was much more kinder to her today. Atleast next time she'll think twice about shouting

No, I think you have understood this wrongly- the school have backed up the TA and you have now highlighted to the SLT or whomever had to give up their time to "investigate this" that your daughter repeatedly needs the teacher to raise her voice in order for her to follow and instructions.

Sadly this is why our schools are full of children who show no respect, they get taught at home it's fine to disrespect the teacher as parent will go in complaining.... its exhausting.

Agreed Tigger.

I can’t imagine any 6 year old I’ve ever known saying their personal space had been invaded!

Agreed. 6 year Olds would not speak this way. I think you need to find out what was actually going on. Most likely misbehaving and teacher was stern.

Have you had her hearing checked @heartbroken22 maybe that's why the TA has to raise her voice

Ummm... There's nothing to think twice about! The TA wasn't shouting in the first place!

Hopefully your DD will think twice before she ignores instructions again.

Hopefully you'll think twice before you jump to conclusions.

Your 6 year old has been misbehaving have a chat with your child and talk about behaviour in school, if your child wasn't misbehaving there would be no problem.

The child should not have been shouted at by the TA. I would advise you to contact the school if it is the 5th time it happened to your child and not an isolated accident. I know a girl who works as a classroom assistant in a primary school and she really should not be one, the way she talks about the kids with special needs is appalling, making fun of them, calling them names. She is vile.

You have no idea what safeguarding is. Please look it up before you waste the time of the people who have to support actual vulnerable children who are in danger.

Absolutely.

100%

Hopefully the child will think twice about ignoring /disobeying the ta