I've just bought a big parcel box for the sole purpose of not having to talk to the postman any more.

[IncompleteSenten]

And now I feel guilty. Which is stupid I know but it turns out I have a heart after all.
Or a piece of one rattling round in an otherwise ice cold body.

My postie is a bloody judgemental and nosy bugger. He asks so many intrusive questions that I have to bat away but I also realise he's unhappy and maybe doesn't get to talk to people but bloody hell I'm sick of being grilled at my front door.

Where's my husband today, what's he doing? Why's he doing that? He's only just come back why's he going away again? He's in London today? Why has he gone there? Why do you do this? Why do you do that? What's going on with your neighbours house? Supposed to be a col crisis you wouldn't think it with all the parcels everyone's getting, etc. what do I do for a living, why do I do it, is there much money in it? Am I going away, I'm not? Why not? I should, why don't I? What's wrong?

I just reached my breaking point this morning and told him it's because I'm batcrap crazy and haven't left the house in years.

Then said my goodbyes and went on Amazon to buy an extra large parcel box just so I don't have to answer the door to him again.

I can't be the only one who has gone to ridiculous lengths to avoid people 🤣. So what are your stories?

Confidence is not the problem. I have no problem not answering his questions or telling him I have to get on.

I'm just fed up of opening the door then having to fend him off.

Tbh, avoiding being rude is my problem if anything. I am aware I can be very very rude by nature and I try to avoid that wherever possible and consider the intentions of the other person instead of saying what my nature tells me to say until it reaches a point where I have no option because they aren't taking the hint.

Loads of questions like that would drive me nuts OP and I will happily chat to anyone! I don’t blame you for buying the postbox.

Yes, unfortunately. Although I try very very hard to not be.

Example I told my parents they were shitty grandparents and either change or get out of my life and I don't care which.

When I'm not interested in what someone is saying I used to say "I don't care". Until my husband trained me out of it because it's apparently very rude
I wasn't being rude - I just thought there was no point them wasting there time.

One this morning my husband asked me where his knife was and I said wherever you left it. Again, very rude. But I wasn't being rude, I actually meant - it's where you left it, I don't know.

And when I intend to be rude I know I go too far. I've said things like did I pass out and miss the part where I asked for your opinion. I've said things like I don't give a shit what you think about anything.

(Yes I am autistic as are my children. I try very hard to follow expected social norms and interactions even when they make no sense.)

Sorry if this sounds a silly question, but why are you having to open the door to him? Why isn't he just putting your letters through the letterbox?

I have though. Several times. I even said in my op "He asks so many intrusive questions that I have to bat away". then I said I said my goodbyes.

That's what I do. Bat away his question and say my goodbyes. And I'm fed up of it.

I also thought maybe some people had got funny stories of stupid things they've done to avoid someone they might want to share and I know you have to offer one up in order to get some.

You don't think that was rude? I think it was very rude of me to put it like that.

Gosh, I would have bought the box ages ago, it's not you that's the problem, it's your postie. I would feel a little threatened having some bloke ask where my husband is, if he is away, etc. Why do you want to know if I'm alone in the house, and why do you want to know when we are on holiday and the house is empty, how odd!! It's not up to you to be interrogated, if he is lonely he needs to change the way he speaks to people so they are happy to have a natter.

Oh no - he does sound like the talkative type!

Yes. I am by nature very very rude and aggressive. It is a huge flaw in me that I work very hard to keep under control. That and my temper. I have done some awful things in my youth because of those flaws in me and it is a part of myself I work each and every day to keep down and not allow into the light of day.

It sounds like the parcel box is the best option for both of you really.

this is completely overstepping the boundaries. I'd be making a complaint to the post office. I bet it won't be the first complaint they've had about him either.

Your postman sounds very full on he's probably nosey by nature and this is causing his over chatting. Your parcel box is a great idea hopefully he will just post letters from now on.

Try and not worry to much the postman will find someone else to be nosey with.

Lots of parcels. My work requires a lot of supplies so I have a lot of deliveries. Eg today I am expecting a lanolin based wool softener for some wool I've hand spun.

OP, I think the biggest issue here is that fact he is asking and you are answering about your husband being away and that you are home, and also going away where the house will be empty.

Why would anyone do that?

Yeah. The back story is my sons are autistic (as am I) and I used to take them to visit my grandad. My mum tried to stop me taking them because they at that time would make a lot of noise. My grandad loved seeing them btw, it was not coming from him, but she made the mistake of saying to me that she was "trying to protect my grandad".

I blew up. Protect my grandad from my children?

It was the final straw after years of them being completely disinterested in my children.

I said a lot of stuff that day.

But I was very rude and I should have kept my temper and said what needed to be said in a different way.

I’m with you there, I can’t stand intrusiveness- there is a huge difference between someone giving you the time of day to someone having a sense of entitlement to know all your business.

Unfortunately! Some other poor sod will have to deal with him, ☺️

I don't answer him.
I'm sorry. I am beginning to think my choice of words in my op was wrong.

When I said "He asks so many intrusive questions that I have to bat away". Bat away means fend off, avoid answering, change the subject on.

So he asks me all these questions, I give non answers, or otherwise change the subject and nod while he gives me his bigoted rant of the day then when I'm about ready to tell him the only thing I care less about than his opinion is, well, there's nothing I care less about than his opinion... I pump up the smile a bit and say well nice to chat but I must get on now, cheerio then I shut the door and wish I had chocolate in the house.