I've just bought a big parcel box for the sole purpose of not having to talk to the postman any more.

[IncompleteSenten]

And now I feel guilty. Which is stupid I know but it turns out I have a heart after all.
Or a piece of one rattling round in an otherwise ice cold body.

My postie is a bloody judgemental and nosy bugger. He asks so many intrusive questions that I have to bat away but I also realise he's unhappy and maybe doesn't get to talk to people but bloody hell I'm sick of being grilled at my front door.

Where's my husband today, what's he doing? Why's he doing that? He's only just come back why's he going away again? He's in London today? Why has he gone there? Why do you do this? Why do you do that? What's going on with your neighbours house? Supposed to be a col crisis you wouldn't think it with all the parcels everyone's getting, etc. what do I do for a living, why do I do it, is there much money in it? Am I going away, I'm not? Why not? I should, why don't I? What's wrong?

I just reached my breaking point this morning and told him it's because I'm batcrap crazy and haven't left the house in years.

Then said my goodbyes and went on Amazon to buy an extra large parcel box just so I don't have to answer the door to him again.

I can't be the only one who has gone to ridiculous lengths to avoid people 🤣. So what are your stories?

There you go.

That should link to my past posts. Fill yer boots. :D

There is absolutely no point telling me to read my countless threads because I don't know what you are getting at. You are going to have to tell me.

I know what I've posted. I have that information.

What I don't understand is what you are trying to say or suggest about me from them.

Feel free to tell me what you are trying to say. It's very unlikely I'll be upset and I might learn something that will help me!. It is pointless hinting though. I don't know what I don't know and reading posts I already know I made won't give me new information so you're going to have to say what you don't want to say.

In what way weird?

@IncompleteSenten Because you said this!

My mum tried to stop me taking them because they at that time would make a lot of noise.
&
*My Mum said "I'm trying to protect Grandad"

So why am I assuming your children make lots of noise? Because you said so.
Why am I assuming your Granddad is a frail old man? Well, two reasons, 1: Because you said that your Mum said "I'm trying to protect Grandad" which infers that he's vulnerable. 2: Because you're an adult and unless both your parents and grandparents had babies very young, then it's highly likely that your grandparents are at least post-retirement!

Yes he does sound rather nosy and annoying. I'd answer the door with my phone to my ear and pretend to be having a conversation, say thanks with a smile and take the parcel and close the door.

You are not giving me usable information.

Weird tells me nothing.

In what way weird? Give me something I can use. I already know I'm weird. Goes with the autism.

Tbh I've always considered myself quite dull in my postings. It's quite nice to realise I've made an impression.

@IncompleteSenten thank you, it wasn't to search for your threads specifically.

@phonerings thanks.

My mum was 19 when I was born and I was 25 when my first was born and 26 when my second was born.

And you made the mistake of thinking my mum actually meant protect. She likes to control.

Not that that matters. I am the one that said I was rude about it and should have made my point in a less confrontational way. I already know I was rude. It's just that you are wrong in your picture of the situation and particularly my grandad's condition and my mothers motives.

But right now I'm really more interested in learning more about how weird I am apparently on here. The other poster refuses to elaborate so I'm hoping someone else will.

YANBU OP I can’t tolerate intrusive people like your Postie.

OK. Now I'm thinking you can't actually back that up and just said it to have a pop at me.

If you ever want to tell me why you think I'm a weirdo, I'll be happy to take it on board. It may help me to be less weird if I understand where I'm going wrong.

This is the thing about ND people. We honestly truly don't always know.

If you want to just have a go at me, then you drop a vague indult in and wonder off, that's fine. But you could have choosen to help me and tell me why I am weird.

Thst would have helped me assess how I come across and make more changes if necessary. It's hard enough being autistic and trying to figure it out without people coming and telling you how weird you are but refusing to tell you why!

OK. Anyone can help me out here. Anyone. I'm really weird I've just discovered. :D

If I've done this right, here are threads I've started. They're really very dull imo. I'm not seeing what others are seeing but I would like to.

www.mumsnet.com/search/advanced#/?username=IncompleteSenten&type=op&topics=&page=1&sort=_search

I'm autistic too. I've also been described as weird, rude and also scary. All my life. I am 60 now.

I don't mean to be any of those things, but if you ask me if a dress looks nice, I will probably say 'No' not 'Its lovely, but here is another one you might like to try which is nicer'

As I grew up I tried very hard to develop tact, (which is often just lies to me) so I could fit in and have friends. Its bloody hard work constantly simultaneously analysing what is being said, not being said, and what it means, whilst trying to respond in a natural and non weird way so you're not judged and thought of as a freak.

Sometimes, probably more than I realise, I still get it wrong. It never stops being hard work. Most people seem to breeze through interactions instinctively knowing the rules so as not to upset people, I never will be able to do that.

The OP has said she is autistic, I think it would be nicer of people to cut her some slack.

That's very sweet of you Nellie and I appreciate it but honestly I'm fine. I know I'm weird. I've struggled all my life with it and people generally don't like me because of it.

I will admit to feeling obsessed now with knowing what is apparently obviously weird about my Mumsnet posts that I'm not getting. 🤣

I know I post a lot. A hell of a lot. I'm obsessed with Mumsnet. I crave friendship but am unable to sustain it. I want to be sociable but at the same time I hate it.
I want it on my own terms which is only when I want to interact and only talking about what I want to talk about and all interaction ending the moment I have had enough.

Now I know that is simply not how people are. It's selfish, I'm contradicting myself with the whole I want it but I don't want it thing.

But that's why Mumsnet is perfect.

I drop in on any topic, say what I want to say, interact to the extent I want to interact then walk away the moment I want to. You simply can't do that in real life.

Well, I'm admittedly probably not the best judge, but I've briefly looked at your posts, and they seem fine to me. I find some very interesting.

I am exactly the same with Mumsnet, no risk socialisation, its the best thing about the internet as far as I'm concerned. Well, apart from the 24 hour access to information about obscure topics.

😁 thanks. Maybe someone will enlighten us.

I love that too. I often struggle to sleep and end up googling the weirdest things and then one thing links to another and that links to another and before I know it it's 4am and I'm reading about how you can make a diamond out of peanut butter.

Haha! I'm always awake at 3am blearily learning how to make a dog bed out of 3 biros or how a shark ate someone's guinea pig.

I've looked at your threads OP and most of your titles made me snort. You don't seem weird to me, dunno why you're getting such a a hard time from some pp. All of us have our quirks, I have a very blunt friend similar to you.

On topic, your postie sounds very unusual - most of them are friendly but professionally distant! Ours is quite hot and has great calves. He always has airpods in so we do a kind of eyebrow hello and he flashes a bright smile, but he rarely says more than "Cheeeers!".

I do think you could just say, 'thank you for the parcel. I can't talk today. Have a lovely day'. Door shut. And then repeat until he gets the message. You don't have to be rude, just polite and firm and you'll find it might stop faster than you think.

Haha!

I don’t find you weird, in fact I’ve found myself agreeing with quite a few of your posts (the ones that have been in the same threads I’m watching).

Maybe I’m weird too then.

So he asks me all these questions,
At this point you say "I'd rather not answer that, thank you, goodbye and shut the door"
"I give non-answers"- Not necessary
or otherwise change the subject
Not necessary
and nod while he gives me his bigoted rant of the day
Not necessary
I pump up the smile a bit and say well nice to chat
Not necessary
OP you giving non-answers, changing the topi , nodding, smiling and saying nice to chat is encouraging him.

I looked at your posts too and I don’t think there was anything too out of the ordinary there. I suspect a few posters think that by saying ‘oh I’ve read your posts and now I see’, they’re being offensive under the radar while sniggering to themselves.

There is an unspoken expectation that women have to be kind and pleasant to everyone regardless.

‘But why can’t you just be nice to your postie?’
’He’s only making conversation, why are you being a bitch?’
’Just have a chat to him, it’s only a few minutes of your time.’

A man is being boring and intrusive but we can’t refuse to speak to him?

Can you link the parcel box 😂 I’ve been after a big weatherproof one.

Happy to. It's this one.

Parcel Post Drop Box XL Black Steel Outdoor Lockable 2 Keys Letter Mail Package Courier Container Delivery Storage Wall Mount Safe Secure Anti Fishing Scannable Barcode Screwdriver Fixing Kit https://amzn.eu/d/3WsORTX

Totally normal where I am (rural) everyone has a big black outside storage box with a note on top to ask that all parcels go in the box. Stick a couple of rocks in the bottom it stops it getting blown around.

I’m sorry people are assassinating your character on your thread @IncompleteSenten. This kind of trolling is all over MN and it is happening to people more vulnerable than you. Please ignore them and hopefully they will go away.
As I said up thread, I think you sound fabulous. You have insight and you are aware of your boundaries. You just need the confidence to find a way to establish them. Getting the box is a very sensible start. Your postie does sound like an intrusive creep and I am certain I would like to avoid him too. (I shouldn’t need to point out that he’s not being paid to stand around gabbing to every woman he catches on his rounds either…) I am not autistic, but very introverted. My eldest daughter has high-functioning autism, so I have some insight into how you may intentionally/unintentionally come across. She is also known for being blunt/rude/abrasive/sarcastic and even scary, despite being 5ft tall and looking like Tinkerbell.
Like you, I also crave company but don’t have the stamina. (I have severe heart failure and literally can’t get out much, and talking too much is physically and emotionally draining…) It’s not weird. There are a lot of us out there. We both have people who love us WITH our eccentricities, and I feel that a lot of the people on Mumsnet who gain a sense of power by assassinating people’s characters and derailing their threads are lonely and resentful but haven’t the insight to realise that it is their own behaviour keeping others at bay.
(If their lives are as fulfilling as they claim, why are they on MN at all?)