Yes, that's true, there is a lot of ableism on mumsnet and in society in general.
I believe that someone only has the power to hurt you if you care what they think so I'm not upset by being called a weirdo. It amused me if anything. But other people might be upset or hurt if treated like that, so it's really not on.
But I do like people to explain why they have the opinion they have because I want to understand and when they refuse to do so, I just assume they can't back it up.
So I'm going to assume that the poster was cross because other posters commented on their attitude and so decided to turn on me even though I had engaged with them politely and took no offence at their comments.
Then when they realised that elaborating would mean doubling down on autistic = weirdo they realised that was not going to look good so they deployed a face saver in the form of a statement basically saying figure it out you are of no importance I'm off to do something trivial and by sharing the extremely trivial nature of my planned activity I am saying you too are trivial and not worth my time.
I don't naturally think of other people's feelings. In fact, many years ago my husband once asked me "do you think I've got no feelings" and that shocked me. Mostly because he was right. I don't see other people as having feelings, I have to make myself see if that makes sense. I remember as a teenager trying to explain that there was something wrong with me but I didn't know what, I said that people look like cardboard cutouts to me. I also tried to explain it by saying it was like I was flying and looking down and people looked like ants.
It sounded hugely arrogant I am sure but I now understand I was trying to explain the disconnect I felt. That I felt such a huge gap between me and the rest of the world and that I was confused, scared and lonely.
I don't want to hurt anyone which is why I normally try to perform what I understand to be the appropriate or desired social interaction. I don't always succeed and I know I can be rude and impatient and very dismissive. That's why I try to go so far the other way until or unless someone pisses me off. Then I can't stop myself although I do try.
The postie appears to have the need to make conversation. He has told me some of his private information which has helped me understand that he may be feeling lonely which is why I have tried to be understanding and give him the opportunity to feel someone is willing to engage with him.
Except now I'm fed up of it so I am removing myself. I've had some excellent advice and opinions here which will certainly help me.
I see social etiquette like an instruction manual. You have to perform all the steps even if you don't understand why they are there and you think they are stupid. It's a manual everyone uses and it's what's expected even if you know your way is better 😁.
You don't need to understandwhy. You just need to understand that , is what I tell myself and what I tell my sons although me trying to teach them how to navigate socially is the blind leading the blind! We rely on my husband. And medication. Lots of medication.
So. What I've taken from this.
I'm weird because I'm autistic. Fair enough, I'm ok with that.
I post far far too much. Again, I'm ok with that. I use Mumsnet in the way that meets my needs.
I may possibly not be quite as rude as I worry
that I am.
I am not alone.